“The therapeutic relationship in the context of client-centered psychotherapy andLogotherapy.”

by Wolfram Kurz, Institut für Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse, Tübingen/Wien.

Click here for the original German article.

Translated with permission by Tom Edmondson for Meaninginministry.com.

1. The fundamental importance of the therapeutic relationship in the context of client-centered psychotherapy.

When reflecting on the problems associated with the therapeutic relationship, one should not overlook the relevant postulates of the client-centered psychotherapy designed by C. R. Rogers because, for Rogers, the quality of the therapeutic relationship is crucial for positive change in the client.

As early as 1957, Rogers presented six conditions relating to the therapeutic relationship, which he understood as necessary and sufficient in the context of the desired client behavior and client experience. Even then he explained: "No other conditions are necessary.  If these six conditions are present and last for a while, that is sufficient.

The process of constructive personality change will follow." [1] The six conditions in question are as follows:

(1) Two people have psychological contact with each other

(2) The first, whom we call the client, is in a state of incongruence, he is vulnerable

       and anxious

(3) The second person, whom we call the therapist, is congruent or integrated in the

       relationship.

(4) The therapist experiences unconditional positive regard towards the client.

(5) The therapist experiences an empathic understanding of the client's inner frame

       of reference and endeavors to communicate what he or she has experienced.

(6) The client perceives, at least to a small extent, that the therapist shows empathic

       understanding and unconditional positive attention. [2]

For Rogers, it is not the therapist's knowledge, experience, training or therapeutic techniques that are decisive for therapeutic success, but rather the quality of the relationship. In this context, the therapeutic variables mentioned in theses 3 to 6 play the decisive role: Congruence, appreciation, empathy and the client's perception of these three elements.

The therapist is congruent when he "is what he is, when he is genuine and without façade in the relationship with the client, when he openly realizes the feelings and attitudes that are flowing in him at that particular moment." [3] Behaving congruently means "that the feelings the counselor experiences are available to him, to his consciousness; that he is able to live these feelings, to be them in the relationship and to communicate them if indicated. It means that he comes into a direct personal encounter with his client, that he meets him person to person." [4]

According to Rogers, a high degree of authenticity is crucial for a high degree of therapeutic success. It is also important that not only positive but also negative feelings of the therapist are made transparent to the client in line with the principle of congruence. However, a possible misunderstanding should be pointed out here. Behaving congruently as a therapist does not mean communicating every positive or negative feeling that arises in the communication flow to the client. Rogers writes:

I am not saying that it is helpful to blurt out every passing feeling and accusation under the cozy pretense of being real. Being real involves the difficult task of familiarizing yourself with the flow of experiences that are going on inside you; a flow that is predominantly characterized by complexity and constant change. So if I realize that I feel bored by my interactions with this student, and if that feeling persists, then I owe it to him and our relationship to share that feeling with him. Again, though, I want to be in touch with what's going on inside of me. If it is me, I will realize that it is my feeling of boredom that I am expressing and not some assumed fact about him being a boring person. When I express it as my own reaction, this provides the possibility for a deeper relationship. [5]

Consequently, the longer-lasting emotional configurations that arise in the therapist during the course of therapy are decisive. They should be played over for the client.

Appreciation is the second therapist variable. It manifests itself as a positive, warm, accepting attitude towards the client. Appreciation means that the therapist values his client as a person ... regardless of how the client is behaving at the moment. It means that the therapist cares for his client in a non-possessive way ... What I am describing is a feeling that is neither paternalistic nor sentimental or superficially social and pleasant. It respects the other as a separate individual and does not possess them. It is a kind of liking and liking that is strong and not demanding. [6]

Empathy is the third essential element in a good therapeutic relationship. The aim of empathy is to empathize with the client's inner world in such a way that you perceive it through their eyes, as it were. It is crucial that you perceive the frame of reference or the

configuration of feelings and thoughts as if they reflected your own feelings and thoughts. The as-if quality of empathy must be maintained so that helpful empathy with the client's suffering does not turn into helpless identification with the client's suffering. Rogers writes:

If the client's world is clear to the counselor and he can move freely in it, then he can both communicate his understanding of what the client is only vaguely aware of and articulate meanings in the client's experience of which the client is barely conscious. It is this kind of highly sensitive empathy that is important for a person to be able to get close to themselves and learn to change and to develop. [7]

Moreover, empathy should occur on the basis of what Rogers calls unconditional positive regard, i.e. an unconditional positive relationship with the client. [8] Furthermore, according to Rogers, therapeutic communication does not achieve its goal if the client cannot perceive the therapist's authenticity, appreciation and empathy. Or vice versa: The therapist can be congruent, positively attentive and empathic, but he will not enable the client to gain a new self-understanding of his personality if the client does not experience the therapist as congruent, appreciative and empathic.

Rogers' assertion that the listed therapist variables in combination represent the necessary and sufficient condition for positive change in the client has proved to be an extremely effective challenge to psychotherapy research. Looking at the relevant studies, however, it

cannot be said that Rogers' assumptions have been confirmed across the board. Quite the opposite. The results in this regard are extremely contradictory and the "Spectrum of published opinions" ranges from "'neither sufficient nor necessary' to 'both necessary and sufficient' with all conceivable intermediate stages." [9] On the whole It can be said that the Rogers variables are absolutely necessary for the creation of a favorable therapeutic relationship and in this respect also have their lasting significance for logotherapeutic communication. On the other hand, the question of whether the variables can be regarded as necessary and sufficient conditions for positive change can still not be regarded as settled. There are indications that the Rogers variables, paired with a structuring, method-oriented approach, are highly effective in therapy. It is by no means certain that all problems can be solved at the relationship level alone. [10]

2. Aspects of the therapeutic relationship in the context of logotherapy.

Statements about the design of a helpful therapeutic relationship, the methodological instruments, and the anthropology underlying a form of therapy are the three main elements of a therapeutic concept. The various therapeutic approaches also set different emphases in this respect. Logotherapy and existential analysis are currently characterized by the fact that their main focus is on designing the anthropology that should guide meaningful therapy. The vast majority of logotherapeutic literature is of an anthropological nature. Methodological questions and questions concerning the therapeutic relationship are in the background of interest. The reference to the methods of paradoxical intention and dereflection, which are practiced in the logotherapeutic scene, in no way contradicts this, because both methods are not directly related to the process of sense discovery, which is at the center of logotherapeutic interest.

Logotherapy is open in terms of methodology and the design of the therapeutic relationship. However, this is not an arbitrary openness, but rather a targeted openness. Logotherapy is open to those methods and maxims of shaping the relationship that are suitable for promoting the process of discovering meaning in the context of therapeutic interaction. In the context of logotherapy as a specific therapy, i.e. in the case of noögenic neuroses, the therapist has the task of communicating with the patient in such a way that the patient (a) can perceive himself as a meaning-oriented being, insofar as the meaning orientation is buried in the unconscious; (b) to bring to the forefront of consciousness the responsibility for discovering meaning; (c) to provide help in discovering meaning, i.e. to communicate with the patient in such a way that he or she is able to discover not the

general, but rather the concrete, individual and as such unique possibilities of meaning in his or her life and (d) to realize them in the practical shaping of life. Consequently, Logotherapy is evocative therapy. Insofar as it challenges the repressed will to meaning and

challenges it to do justice to its very own intention, and heuristic therapy insofar as it manifests itself as an aid to the discovery of meaning.

According to the logic of logotherapeutic thinking, the theory of methodology and the theory of relationship design must be oriented towards logotherapeutic anthropology; the methods used in the therapeutic conversation and the concrete design of the therapeutic relationship must be oriented towards the concrete person in his or her concrete problem of meaning.

As a result, anthropology and attention to the unique problems of the person seeking help take precedence over methodological and relational questions. This attitude is well-founded, especially in view of the research situation. If it is true that the therapeutic situation is so complex that therapeutic behavior that is certain to lead to success cannot be planned in advance in the face of specific misconduct, then therapy remains, to a large extent, an art based on intuition. Without diminishing the importance of the empirical insights and methodological skills developed in the various schools of therapy, it should nevertheless be pointed out that every illness shows a very individual face through the way in which a subject falls ill and deals with their illness. This face may be similar in structure to other faces, but it is unique in detail. When we talk about neurotic reaction patterns - anxiety neurotic, compulsive neurotic, sexual neurotic - we are describing the basic structures of an unsatisfactory form of reaction.

But the elements within the pattern are not captured by the description of the structure. The pattern defines, as it were, the scope within which the neurotic activity takes place. The cataloging of an illness by the physician takes place on a relatively high level of abstraction.

Abstraction in this context means that the basic features of a disease process, as it occurs in many individuals, are described. This way of being ill is ascribed to you by the doctor, so to speak. But illness, especially mental illness, is first of all, a very individual way of dealing with the life you have to live. It always has a very individual biographical aspect. Perceiving

this, engaging with it, empathizing with it and dealing with it in such a way that the patient is put in a position to reorient their life is a therapeutic art. Science perceives the universal; art perceives the very unique play within the enclosure of structure. In the process of  successful therapy, however, scientific and artistic approaches intertwine.

If we apply these thoughts to our problem, then methodological one-sidedness or one-sidedness concerning the therapeutic relationship is quite naturally out of the question. Methodological diversity and diversity of the therapeutic relationship are appropriate in view of the individual biographical face of each neurosis. This presupposes that the therapist has a wide-ranging behavioral repertoire and is constantly expanding the spectrum of this repertoire. Does this open the door to arbitrariness with regard to the therapeutic relationship? What are the most important elements that determine the therapeutic relationship and how can they be understood from the perspective of meaning-oriented communication?

3. The body of the therapist in the perspective of meaning-oriented communication.

The therapist likes to ask: What do I have to do to help this person? This question is an expression of dominant cognition. Its basic intention is the desire for an instrument and its handling in order to transform a painful state into a bearable one. This question is partially justified. In my experience, however, the questions are: What must I do to help this person? What is not decisive? What is decisive is the insight that we do not primarily work by means of our therapeutic instruments, but rather through what we are: through our overall personal constitution. "People should not think so much about what they do, but what they are." This sentence by Meister Eckhart has special significance for pastors and psychotherapists, educators and doctors. According to my intuition, successful therapy is primarily an expression of productive contagion.

The primary medium of this infection, however, is the therapist's body, in which his overall personal constitution is reflected. With him and through him, the helper is first of all there. With him, through him, he is first of all with his patient. His specific way of being in the world, of understanding himself in the world, of dealing with his being in the world, his specific ideas of value and meaning are also imprinted on the body: the eyes, the face, the hands, for example, the gestures, the facial expressions, the motor skills of the body in general. The totality of these sometimes very subtle imprints is what we call a person's charisma. In principle, it is soul and spirit transformed into body. Even before a word is spoken in the therapeutic process, therapist and patient are there and together in their physicality. And then come the long phases in which the patient tells their passion story. The therapist, however, remains silent and listens. And in this silence and listening, the therapist is not just there for the patient and with him in full presence of mind, but also in presence of body. The body also speaks in silence, even in stillness. The question is what it communicates in a subtle way.

In order to link these thoughts to the problem of the therapeutic relationship, the following should be noted: No one is the master of their body-mediated charisma, which must be understood as a function of their overall personal constitution. But everyone can give an account of the basic orientations that determine their overall constitution, which  determine their outlook on life and the way they live. The decisive factor for the Logotherapist is not the communication technique with the help of which he releases the meaning-seeking process in the patient, e.g. the dialog conducted in a Socratic manner. The decisive factor is that the logotherapist himself is a meaning-open, meaning-realizing, meaning-vital personality. This vitality of meaning is certainly also expressed physically.

It is crucial that there are no contradictory messages to the patient in the logotherapeutic process. Logotherapeutic success also depends on the consonance of relationship and content. If the patient is stimulated at the content level by the means of the conversation to activate his potential for seeking meaning, then he will be able to do this more easily if he can also experience the therapist as a meaningful personality in terms of his charisma. It depends on the consonance of what is said verbally and what is physically the case. For it is only in the atmosphere of such consonance that the patient experiences what the therapist is trying to help him achieve as true. However, truth is also and especially experienced and communicated on a physical level. Here is a literary example of an ideal type:

H. Hesse published his novel "Siddhartha" in 1922. In a central passage, he describes how Siddhartha, the young Brahmin, and his friend Govinda meet Buddha and what they realize about him as they contemplate him:

Govinda looked intently at the monk in the yellow robe, who seemed to be no different from the hundreds of other monks. And soon Govinda also recognized: this is the one. And they followed him and looked at him.

The Buddha went his way humbly and lost in thought, his still face was neither happy nor sad, it seemed to smile quietly inwardly. With a hidden smile, quiet, calm, not unlike a healthy child, the Buddha walked, wore the robe and set foot in the same way as all his monks, according to precise instructions. But his face and his step, his quietly lowered gaze, his drooping hand, and every finger on his quietly drooping hand spoke peace, spoke perfection, did not seek, did not imitate, breathed softly in an unfading calm, in an unfading light, an untouchable peace.

So Gotama walked towards the city to collect alms, and the two Samanas recognized him only by the perfection of his calmness, by the stillness of his form, in which no seeking, no wanting, no imitation, no effort was to be seen, only light and peace.

'Today we will hear the teaching from his mouth,' said Govinda.

Siddhartha did not answer. He was not very curious about the teaching, he did not believe that it would teach him anything new, as he, like Govinda, had heard the content of this Buddha teaching again and again, albeit from second- and third-hand reports. But he looked attentively at Gotama's head, at his shoulders, at his feet, at his still hanging hand, and it seemed to him that every limb on every finger of this hand was teaching, speaking, breathing, smelling, shining truth. This man, this Buddha, was true down to the gesture of his last finger." [11]

There is no doubt that H. Hesse is attempting here to portray a life that has come to its fulfillment. According to him, the man Buddha, a teacher of humanity, is an embodiment of perfect existence. Hesse portrays him in the perspectives of Siddhartha's and Govinda's different interests. And he shows that Govinda's quite plausible interest in the teacher's teaching is secondary, while Siddhartha's interest in the figure of the teacher is essential. Govinda wants to know what the teacher teaches and says: "Today we will hear the  teaching from his mouth ..." [12]  

You can feel Govinda's excitement. Siddhartha, however, does not share this curiosity. He wants to know who this teacher is. He is fascinated by the way Buddha is there, by his head, his shoulders, his feet, his hands and the fingers on his hand. Siddhartha is not interested in the teaching, i.e. interested in coherent statements about the world and man.

Rather, he is interested in the coherence of the piece of the world that Buddha represents as a person. He is not interested in the objective teaching, which is to be detached from the Buddha's person, which can be written down and handed down. He is interested in the person of the Buddha who expresses himself in the flesh, who embodies the teaching in the literal sense and proves the truth of the teaching as embodied. "... seemed to him (Siddhartha)", writes Hesse, "every limb on every finger of this hand was teaching, speaking, breathing, smelling, shining truth." [13]  

Siddhartha's interest is again of an anatomical or aesthetic nature. He is moved by what the bodily form of Buddha radiates: peace, tranquility, stillness. Someone has reached perfection we, the ordinary people, want so much; he wants nothing more. We seek, are out for this and that; he no longer seeks. We strive for our salvation by imitating what others show us; he renounces all imitation. We toil and toil; but of him it is said, in the stillness of his form no effort was recognizable. Siddhartha is impressed by his overall personal constitution, understood as a seamless interweaving of body, soul and spirit. He is  fascinated by what Buddha communicates in his physical being. It is said of his body that it speaks truth, breathes, smells, shines. Truth is obviously not only understood here as the truth of the word, as adaequatio rei et intellectus [14] , but rather as the correspondence of the teaching with the whole person; as bodily, mental, spiritual. This truth is therefore not only dependent on intellectual perception, but also on sensory perception. For it not only speaks, it also breathes, it smells, it shines. It is obviously the truth that emerges from the overall physical and spiritual constitution of the person concerned.

The light is created by its brilliance, a certain radiance by its fragrance, a certain fluidity by its scent, a certain liveliness by its breath.

If an attempt is made to make such an essential humanity fruitful for the helping professions, it is not a question of making the perfection of this image of humanity the yardstick for one's own self-image. Ideals can also have a destructive effect. [15] This is the case when people set far too high expectations of themselves and then have to constantly experience that they are not up to their own standards. The painful experience of the difference between the false ideal and what is actually the case wears them down. And soon, under the influence of their self-image, they are no longer able to achieve what they would be capable of within the scope of their abilities.

In contrast, however, the indication conveyed in the Buddha image is therapeutically significant that here a person works primarily through his overall personal constitution, i.e. through what he is, and not so much through what he does. Or vice versa: that someone works through what he does, because what he does must be understood as a pure expression of what he is according to his overall personal constitution. The fascination emanating from this person has its reason in the correspondence of inner constitution and outer behavior which is also reflected physically:

With regard to the therapeutic relationship, however, it can be assumed that the therapist not only works through what he says and does, but also through the medium of the radiance of what he is; perhaps even primarily. For this reason, the therapist's mental state, which is communicated in the gestures of his body, and his physical state, which reflects the behavior of his soul, are of particular importance. The therapist also works through the fluid that emanates from him and belongs to him, which he does not have directly at his disposal, which he therefore does not have in the true sense of the word, but rather is, and which constitutes the nature of the relationship with the client. For members of the helping professions, especially for psychotherapists, it is important to know that this fluid has to do with their mental state and has a contagious effect. People in a depressive state generate depression, cheerful natures spread cheerfulness and courage to face life, children who grow up in a neurotic environment often have difficulty escaping neurosis. Looking, however, with regard to the therapeutic relationship in the context of logotherapy, it should be noted that the logotherapist can certainly work most effectively if he does not lead his patient alone on the path of the search for meaning, but rather acts as a meaningful person himself through his charisma. This also has to do with his physical constitution.

4. The therapist's image of the human being from the perspective of meaning-oriented communication.

There are logotherapists who are not very happy about the word "Logotherapy." There is no doubt that the meaning of the word Logotherapy is unusual in view of other word combinations associated with the term "therapy". When one speaks of behavioral therapy,

psychotherapy, communication therapy, the negation of a negative is always meant. The aim of therapy is to change misbehavior, to heal a suffering soul, and to eliminate disturbed communication in the social system. If the principle of this therapy is the negation of the negative, then the principle of Logotherapy is the position of the positive. Logotherapy is not therapy of a misguided Logos however one might understand the word in this respect; Logotherapy is therapy in the means of the mind with a view to discovering meaning.

This fact that the negative is not primarily overcome by negating the negative, but rather by looking at and activating the positive, is characteristic of logotherapeutic intervention. The discovery of the possibilities of meaning with regard to the abilities of the person one is, and with regard to the situation in which one is involved, shows itself as the discovery of a positive life form. The discovery and activation of the healthy parts of a person despite all symptoms is typical of a logotherapeutic approach. The tendency to focus primarily on the positive, however, is an expression of the view of the human being that guides logotherapeutic thinking.

However, the therapist's internalized view of the human being is fundamental to therapeutic communication and therefore also to the therapeutic relationship. It claims to portray the person in terms of their essentiality. In the medium of this image, the therapist looks at the patient as he presents himself and at the same time sees through him to the form that he is in essence but cannot realize. It makes a difference whether this process of seeing and seeing through is guided by an image of man that understands man by his nature as pleasure-oriented, power-oriented, or meaning-oriented.

Moreover, the perception of life in terms of its possible meaningfulness and thus in terms of its success is fundamental to mental health and psychological flexibility. Those who basically perceive their existence as an absurd existence have no reason to preserve their lives, the lives of others and the neutral and cultural conditions that provide life. The inability to deal constructively with the personal and supra-personal conditions that distort meaning - i.e. to endure them as far as necessary and to change them as far as possible – has in my opinion, its deepest roots in the imbalance between success and failure, sense and absurdity. Modern man, especially under the influence of the media, is developing into an acrobat in the reconstruction of the negative. But however precise the perception of the negative, which is absolutely necessary, is not a sufficient moving reason for overcoming the negative. From this point of view, it makes sense to overhaul or at least supplement the symptom-fixated therapeutic models with a counterbalanced model; a model whose center is the perception, imagination (in the sense of imagining) and reimagination of the meaningful. The difficulties of life cannot be overcome simply by becoming aware of the disturbance and developing techniques of interference suppression, especially since freedom from disturbance offers no guarantee of meaningfulness. If, to give an example, a person is completely healthy, then he has by no  means solved the problem that he represents in his self. Being is far from being solved. Only now does the question arise as to what he wants to use his health for, what he wants to consume himself for. [16]

Meaning and absurdity are experienced in contexts. A person has essential experiences of meaning in the form of social meaningfulness; be it that he can experience himself as meaningful for another person, or that he can experience another person as meaningful for himself. Logotherapeutic communication is characterized by the fact that the patient is set free to develop his meaning-seeking potency. However, the development of this power requires a therapeutic climate within a therapeutic relationship that the patient experiences as meaningful. Becomes. But what are the basic elements of the therapeutic relationship that the patient experiences as meaningful? Can a person experience therapy-immanent experiential values as meaningful and what role does the therapist's image of humanity play in this?

The basic suffering of man in man is expressed in the concept of passing by[1]. [17] People pass each other by, do not recognize each other's basic needs, deny each other, and drive each other into neurotic reactions. Psychotherapy provides a counterpoint that can be experienced as deeply meaningful. In this context, the nature of the therapeutic relationship is crucial. It is necessary to refer to facts that are as simple as they are significant: the presence of the therapist. The therapist is with me. To the therapist's openness. The therapist is open to my suffering, my strengths and weaknesses. The therapist's concentration. The therapist turns away from all other demands for a while and turns to me completely. It depends on the therapist's perspective. The therapist sees me not only as the damaged person I am now, but also as the healed, fulfilled person I could be.

However, the therapist's view of the human being plays a decisive role in the context of healing insight. It is, as it were, a therapeutic guideline for communication; the whereupon (foundation) of the therapeutic process. And vice versa: only within the horizon of the essentiality of the human being, which is expressed in the therapist's image of the human being, does the client appear both in his unhealed actual reality and in his healed potential reality. The task of the human being, which can never be completed, but which must be tackled again and again, is to uncover and bring out the hidden essence that he or she basically is in the shaping of life; in other words, to allow the hidden essential form to become reality in the shaping of living conditions. The pain of the difference between what one basically is and what one realizes acts as a motive to bring essence and existence into greater harmony. [18]

Everyone sees themselves differently than they are. Metaphorically speaking, we have an image of ourselves that motivates the way we shape our lives. The only question is whether a person really grasps or misses his essence in the image before him as a regulator of his being in the world. If the patient designs himself incorrectly, i.e. in contradiction to his

essentiality, he runs the risk of missing his life. If the therapist allows himself to be influenced by a false or reductionist anthropology, and if the therapeutic process is guided by the therapist's image of man, he runs the risk of endangering the life of the person entrusted to his care.

It is necessary for the therapist to perceive and accept his patient as realistically as possible on the basis of what Rogers calls unconditional positive regard. But the point of this acceptance is precisely that the patient is given the opportunity to become other

than he is: to undertake a theoretical and practical reorientation of his personality.

Therapeutically effective acceptance must therefore be holistic acceptance. It is acceptance with regard to and insight into ...! It perceives the patient in his unhealed dimension, which is the case, and at the same time sees through the patient to the healed form that is inherent in him, but which he is prevented from realizing at the moment.

Of course, it makes a difference whether one sees the essentiality of man in the competence to balance biological needs of a libidinal nature and superego requirements by means of a strong ego; whether one sees the essence of man in the need for and in the competence for self-actualization, or whether one understands man in principle as a being who basically wants a meaningful existence in the world that goes beyond himself, which is to be realized by means of action, experience, or attitude on the basis of self-transcendence.

P. Becker's empirical work in particular indicates that finding meaning is a central component of mental health and therefore a central component of an aspect of human essentiality. [19] Whether it is sufficient with regard to mental health to have "any goals, as long as they appear sufficiently attractive and achievable, or whether only very specific types of goals are suitable for promoting mental health in the long term" [20] , according to P. Becker, "cannot be answered authoritatively in the current state of scientific knowledge." [21]  In this context, however, he refers to the work of A.H. Maslow and J.E. Crandall, [22] which makes it likely "that goals that are not only directed towards oneself but reach beyond this and have the character of 'self-transcendence' or a 'task character', offer particular advantages from a psycho-hygienic point of view." [23] In principle, however, this would confirm Frankl's position on this issue, which sees the realization of meaning and value as synonymous.

Apart from these special questions, however, it should be noted here in summary that a therapist's view of human nature is decisive for the nature of their therapeutic relationship. However, this is precisely what should be shown.

4. The therapist's view of the world from the perspective of meaning-oriented communication.

It is very likely that the relevance of the logotherapeutic approach will steadily increase in the coming decades. In my opinion, this has to do with the fact that the realization of meaning in Frankl's sense is always in correspondence with "real tasks out in the world" [24] . Frankl is never concerned with the patient fulfilling his will to meaning by creating subjective feelings of meaning for himself, but rather that he perceives and complies with

the inherent prompting character of the respective situation. "The specific mode of neurotic existence is characterized by the fact that it is the person himself, that it is his own inner states that gain his interest, while the world and the objects in it recede to the same extent." [25] What is decisive here is that interest is withdrawn from subjective states of being and directed primarily towards concrete objectivity. The world, in its sense-oriented, stimulating character, plays an essential role in the therapeutic process, however small a part it may be: "... namely the possibilities of meaning lying in the world, waiting in the world, waiting there for the person, for their fulfillment by him ..." [26] This interest in the context of therapeutic interaction, which is oriented towards the objective nature of the world, is becoming increasingly topical.

If it is true that the world is threatening to drift towards a total catastrophe due to a possible network of partial catastrophes - I am thinking of the famine catastrophe, the water catastrophe, the energy catastrophe, the education catastrophe, the catastrophe of scientific side effects and the crisis of reason in general - then psychotherapy that seeks to open up self-realization based on purely subjective needs is inappropriate, even dangerous.

The physicist and mathematician A.M. Klaus Müller has written in his book "Die präparierte Zeit" [27] shows that global society has now reached a situation in which all institutions responsible for shaping life, despite their various objectives, all have one thing in common: in the coming decades, they will all have to base their actions on the maxim of survival, whether it is science, educational institutions or psychosocial care institutions. Psychotherapists play an important role within this framework. Particularist thinking is outdated:

The selfish pursuit of an intention without sufficient reflection on how it relates to survival is already a betrayal of man's future - indeed, if we look at it closely, it is even a betrayal of the traitor's future, a suicidal betrayal. In this sense, we are all traitors today. [28]

And elsewhere Müller writes:

The principle of survival is the principle of future ethics... Everything that is not motivated by survival is already detrimental to survival. For without the self-enlightening regulative of the principle of survival, humanity constantly produces unrecognized effects that add up to the destruction of any possible future worthy of the name. [29]

If we look at the world from the perspective of its current fundamental challenge, the conquest of a future worthy of human beings must be mentioned first and foremost. Nothing less. Psychotherapeutic interaction, which knows that it is integrated into world responsibility, no matter how tiny the aspects and segments, very quickly loses the smell of an apocryphal subculture of ethereal, loving soul care. Therapist and patient communicate with each other in the knowledge that they are considering and feeling their way through very personal, very intimate things. And yet their interaction is never private. For the aim of this interaction is to free the patient, who always initially revolves around a symptom, to be open to the world; to free him to perceive the claim that is directed at him from beyond himself. Therefore, in the context of Logotherapy, the focus of interest is not on getting away from the symptom by concentrating on the symptom, but rather on arriving at a meaningful life task and the resulting liberation from the symptom. However, if in the course of therapy the awareness develops that a degree of freedom has been achieved to overlook oneself and to respond to the call of the world outside oneself, then this also has an effect on the therapeutic relationship and goal setting. It takes place in the awareness of not doing something for oneself in a self-centered way, but rather, doing something for oneself by being set free to do something for the world outside oneself. The therapist's and patient's awareness of being integrated into world responsibility. However, it is crucial for the motivation to endure the pain of therapy, on both sides.

Endnotes

1 Quoted from D. Zimmer, The therapeutic relationship, Weinheim 1983

2 Quoted from ibid.

3 Quoted from ibid.

4 Quoted from loc. cit.

5 Quoted from ibid.

6 Op. cit.

7 Op. cit.

8  Rogers notes the category of unconditional positive regard: "I cautiously hypothesize that the less conditional the positive attention is, the more effective the relationship will be. By this I mean that the counselor accepts the client completely, not just under certain conditions. He does not accept certain feelings of the client and disapprove of others. He feels an unconditional positive regard for this person. This is a positive feeling emanating from the counselor without restrictions and without judgment. It means not making judgments. I believe that constructive change and development in the client is more likely to occur when this non-judgmental acceptance is present in the encounter between

counselor and client." Op. cit. p. 66.

9 Op. cit. page 66.

10 "I think it's a fiction to believe that all behavioral problems can be solved at the relationship level alone - this not only contradicts therapeutic experience, but also the findings of social psychology research, and communication research. And I think it is dangerous window-dressing, a campaign to try to convince people that all social, political and economic problems can be solved by a 'philosophy of interpersonal relationships'." This is what A. Franke writes, op. cit.

 11 H. Hesse, Gesammelte Schriften 3, Frankfurt a.M. 1949.

12 Ibid.

13 Ibid.

14 Cf. on this classical definition of the category "truth" originating from Thomas Aquinas, see L. Puntel, Wahrheit, in: H. Krings et al. (eds.), Handbuch philosophischer Grundbegriffe vol. 6, Munich 1974. 

15 On this subject, see the very informative work by W. Schmidbauer, Alles oder nichts - Über die Destruktivität von Idealen, Reinbek bei Hamburg, 1980.

16 The concept of imagination and re-imagination of meaning is developed in the following work: W. Kurz, Ethische Erziehung als religionspädagogische Aufgabe, Habil.-Schrift, Tübingen 1983, p. 534 ff. There it says: What is meant by imagination or reimagination of images of meaning can perhaps best be articulated in contrast to the psychoanalytical-therapeutic model. At the forefront of this model is the realization that certain psychological and somatic symptoms, from which the patient suffers in a conscious way, are an expression of (early childhood) traumatization, which the patient was unable to consciously process due to their intensity and for this reason repressed them from consciousness into the realm of the unconscious. There they now unfold their negative energy in an uncontrollable way, which develops symptoms whose imprint does not allow any direct conclusion to be drawn about the underlying traumatizing event. According to the logic of this connection, the main psychoanalytic task is the discovery of the repressed material. As is well known, S. Freud developed a whole range of techniques to enable patients to recollect symptom-forming, repressed events: cathartic hypnosis, the method of free association, interpretation of dreams, random acts and mistakes. The method

of dream interpretation ultimately became the via regia to knowledge of the unconscious in the soul. Once the repressed material is finally remembered again, it can subsequently be felt and thought through in a parallel way and thus processed. If the processing is successful, experience shows that the symptom-forming energy and the symptoms it produces also disappear.

If we now turn this figure of thought around its own axis from the negative to the positive, we can see the following: The human being does not only reflect negative experiences, but also positive ones. They not only have deep experiences, which they may repress, but they also have a wealth of supporting experiences in many shades up to high experiences, which they also lose from consciousness under the impression of the dark side of their life,

shift into the preconscious or only remember their factuality in outline, but no longer their uplifting experience content. The representation of positive experiences in the subject in contrast to traumatization is difficult to define. The word "uplifting" is so weak in comparison with the term "traumatization" that it cannot be used as an antonym. For this reason, it makes more sense to formulate the situation in a paradoxical way and to talk about "positive traumatization". It can be assumed that the images flowing into the subject in the course of positive traumatization develop a life-enhancing energy.

Presumably they are to be seen as the basis of human hope, an increased attitude towards life, the lust for life, the motivation to act meaningfully, the desire for situation-transcending utopia and its realization, but also as the basis of frustration tolerance, perseverance and ultimately also the strength to negate the negative. On this topic, see also: W. Kurz, Seel-Sorge als Sinn-Sorge - Zur Analogie von kirchlicher Seelsorge und Logotherapie, in F. Böckleet al. (eds.), Wege zum Menschen, 37. It is crucial that the logotherapeutic relationship is characterized by the activation of experiences of meaning, be it in the medium of memory, which was meaningfully the case, be it in the medium of perception of what is meaningfully the case, be it in the medium of anticipation of what should meaningfully be the case in the future. The fact that the therapeutic relationship and therapeutic method can no longer be sharply separated here is probably due to the fact that the underlying image of man is decisive for both aspects, which is also immediately obvious.

17 Cf. the remarks in N. Hartmann, Ethik, Berlin 1962.

18 Cf. on the Essnz-Esistenz problem V.E. Frankl, Ärztliche Seelsorge, Vienna 1971.

19 Cf. P. Becker, Sinnfindung als zentrale Komponente seelischer Gesundheit, in: A. Längle (ed.), Wege zum Sinn, Munich 1985.

20 Ibid.

21 Ibid.

22 Ibid.

23 Ibid.

24 V.E. Frankl, The Suffering Human Being, Bern 1984.

25 Ibid.

26 Ibid.

27 Cf. A.M.K. Müller, Die präparierte Zeit - Der Mensch in der Krise seiner eigenen Zielsetzungen, Stuttgart 1972.

28 Ibid.

29 Ibid.

[1] This is a difficult term to translate. The context indicates that it is describing our superficial exchanges with others. Someone asks, “how are you?” The other responds, “fine.” This is a perfunctory conversation. The question and response are automatic. In contrast, when a person sits down with a Logotherapist, he or she can have a genuine conversation because the therapist is “present” with the client.

Ayuda contra la soledad

Por Dr. Stephan Peeck

Institut für Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse Hamburg-Bergedorf, Alemania

Traducción al inglés por Tom Edmondson para Meaninginministry.com.

¡Un agradecimiento especial a Jaime Paniccia de Sentido de Vida Atlanta por la revisión y correcciones!

Nota del traductor: El Dr. Peeck escribió esta presentación en un estilo conversacional. Me he esforzado por preservar esta cualidad en la traducción.

Situación inicial:

Experimentar la soledad es un problema generalizado de nuestro tiempo. Penetra en todos los grupos de edad, por lo que no sólo afecta a las personas mayores o realmente mayores, sino también a los jóvenes e incluso a las personas que están, como suele decirse, en la flor de la vida. Experimentar la soledad no se limita en modo alguno a determinadas clases sociales; impregna todas las clases: ricos, pobres y todo lo demás. No obstante, hay una serie de factores que pueden desencadenar sentimientos de soledad. Entre ellos puede estar la pobreza, pero también un rápido ascenso de estatus social. Las enfermedades físicas o mentales pueden causar soledad, al igual que la pérdida del trabajo, la pérdida de seres queridos al envejecer, los golpes del destino y muchas otras cosas. Puedes sentirte solo aunque conozcas a mucha gente, aunque tengas pareja y aunque tengas hijos. Además, uno puede sentirse solo aunque viva con muy poco contacto social cercano o incluso más distante.

La pregunta central de mi conferencia será ahora: ¿Qué tipo de ayuda existe para salir de la soledad, o al menos cuáles son algunas formas de aliviar la experiencia de la misma?

Este tema puede abordarse desde ángulos muy diferentes. Mi perspectiva, desde la que quiero abordar este tema en mi conferencia, es la de una persona solitaria sentada frente a mí. ¿Qué sugerencias puedo darle en una conversación directa, qué preguntas puedo hacerle, qué ánimos puedo darle para que su sentimiento de soledad se reduzca al menos un poco o, en el mejor de los casos, desaparezca? Así que en mi conferencia no le pregunto qué opciones de ocio, qué oportunidades de encuentro, etc. se le podrían ofrecer para que dejara de sentirse tan solo. Más bien pregunto qué podría ayudarle a reducir la soledad ocupándose de sí mismo; en cierto sentido, debería tratarse de ayudar a las personas a ayudarse a sí mismas. Al prepararlo, me pareció importante proporcionarle herramientas que, en mi opinión, cada uno de ustedes -incluso sin ser psicólogo- puede utilizar si lo desea.

Motivación:

Para deshacerme o incluso superar un problema interior que me atormenta en un grado significativo, suelo necesitar un compromiso existencial pleno. Esto se aplica igualmente a la superación de miedos, depresiones, adicciones y muchos otros problemas internos que existen, además de padecer sentimientos de soledad. Si los sentimientos de soledad me atormentan en un grado significativo y persistente, entonces no hay otro camino que abordarlos con un compromiso existencial verdaderamente genuino y fuerte para minimizarlos o, idealmente, superarlos por completo.

¿Por qué es importante mencionar esto? Es importante porque afecta a la cuestión de la motivación. Y, como todo el mundo sabe, la motivación adecuada es la mitad de la batalla.

Concretamente: a mucha gente le encanta quejarse y eso es perfectamente legítimo. La gente necesita quejarse de lo que le duele o le causa problemas. De eso no hay duda. Pero aquí hay que aprender a distinguir, tanto como persona afectada como en calidad de ayudante: una persona puede quejarse hacia fuera pero también quejarse hacia dentro. Quejarse fuera es importante. Si una persona no se ha quejado primero, le resultará difícil iniciar procesos de cambio. Las cosas atormentadoras y opresivas pesan mucho en su mente. Y el lamento o el autolamento es una faceta de la libertad de la persona en relación con la situación. En resumen, tienes que ser capaz de hablar de tu miseria o lamento. Y para eso necesitas a alguien que te escuche de verdad, no sólo de forma metódicamente correcta, sino de corazón. La gente necesita testigos de su vida, tanto de lo bueno y bello como de lo difícil y doloroso.

Pero hay una diferencia entre demandar[1] y aceptar el propio destino. Demandar no ayuda en absoluto. Al contrario, debilita a la persona. Existe el peligro de que la demanda se convierta en el sentido de la vida. Quejarse se convierte en el propósito de la vida, una especie de sentido negativo que no es muy beneficioso.

Se trata de dos formas muy concretas de ayudar a superar la soledad. Hay que lamentarse. Una escucha sincera por parte de otro es muy beneficiosa en este proceso. Sin embargo, puede ser igualmente importante asegurarse de no perderse en el lamento. Por supuesto, también es importante preguntarse qué se puede hacer para combatir la soledad, quizá con la ayuda de otras personas.

Esto nos lleva a otro punto: a bastantes personas les gusta esperar a que «eso» cambie, a que «eso» mejore, a que llegue ayuda de fuera, por así decirlo, de un modo u otro, que resuelva el problema, por ejemplo mi soledad, o al menos la reduzca: a que por fin venga una visita, a que por fin los niños se pongan en contacto, a que por fin me llamen los amigos que me quedan, etc. Y tú también puedes hacerlo. A veces incluso puede ser el enfoque correcto si realmente he agotado mis opciones, que yo -en lugar de resignarme- espere activamente a que la vida misma me traiga nuevas oportunidades que hoy no puedo ver. Sin embargo, esperar activamente algo es completamente diferente de una actitud pasiva, resignada, a veces inerte o perezosa, que espera principalmente la felicidad de los demás.

Y de esto último trata este punto. Se trata de entablar una conversación con uno mismo: «¿Quién demonios va a cambiar mi soledad si no soy yo mismo?». Ni que decir tiene que la gente a veces necesita ayuda con esto. Pero la idea de que tengo que pasar a la acción, signifique lo que signifique en la práctica, es muy importante. De lo contrario, nada cambiará. Y no me refiero a pensar esta frase y asentir alegremente con la cabeza. No, lo que quiero decir es una percepción que viene de lo más profundo, del corazón. Sólo eso tiene el poder de ponerme en movimiento. La pregunta «¿Quién, si no yo mismo?» puede complementarse muy bien con la pregunta «Y si no es ahora, ¿cuándo?». Esta pregunta va dirigida contra la eterna dilación.

Finalmente, un último punto en este contexto de la cuestión de la motivación: bastantes personas quieren - comprensiblemente - deshacerse de su necesidad, de su problema, por ejemplo, de sus sentimientos de soledad, pero por lo demás siguen igual. Quieren deshacerse del síntoma sin dirigirse a la raíz, a menudo más profunda, del síntoma dentro de ellos mismos. Sin embargo, a menudo esto es necesario para una mejora real y duradera. Por supuesto, sólo la propia persona puede decidir si realmente lo desea. Sin embargo, las decisiones tienen consecuencias, algunas buenas y otras malas. En este punto, la objeción «soy demasiado viejo para eso» no es válida: oficialmente, una persona puede cambiar hasta su último aliento.

He aquí otras dos preguntas contra la soledad: «¿Qué puedo hacer para cambiar tu situación?» y “¿Podría ser que yo tuviera que cambiar un poco para que las cosas mejoraran?”. Pero supongamos que una persona está motivada, que realmente quiere hacer lo que es posible para ella. ¿Qué más ayuda hay?

Siempre soy más que mi problema

La gente en nuestra parte del mundo tiende a centrarse mucho en el problema, casi se podría decir que a fijarse en él con una extraña especie de felicidad. Esto es desfavorable y oscurece innecesariamente la actitud ante la vida, porque toda persona es siempre más que su problema en (casi) todas las circunstancias. Imagina una habitación grande. En esta habitación, entre otras cosas, hay una mesa y, en el tablero, hay una mancha antiestética. Casi por arte de magia, la mirada de una persona es atraída repetidamente hacia esa mancha tan antiestética. Si se imagina esto de una manera muy exagerada, podría decirse que uno se acerca cada vez más a la mancha y, finalmente, no ve nada más que la mancha. Y, con toda lógica, tienes la sensación de que tú eres la mancha. Ni que decir tiene que esto no es bueno para el bienestar.

En cuanto a la persona solitaria: sí, se siente sola y necesita poder hablar de ello y desahogarse. Pero entonces vale la pena hacerle también la siguiente pregunta: «¿Quién eres en realidad, además de la persona que se siente sola?». «¿No hay ningún otro sentimiento en ti aparte de la soledad?». «¿No hay ningún otro ser en ti excepto la soledad? «¿Realmente alguna vez has pensado, reflexionado sobre el hecho de que siempre eres algo más que tu problema?».

La experiencia demuestra que las personas que sufren significativamente un problema escuchan esta pregunta, pero en lugar de asimilarla realmente, vuelven rápidamente a exponer su difícil situación. En ese momento es importante llamar suavemente la atención sobre ello y redirigir a la persona a la pregunta de forma suave pero constante. Entonces es importante ser específico: ¿Qué soy más que mi problema? Esta frase sirve de poco en términos generales; hay que completarla. ¿Qué podría ser? La siguiente reflexión podría ser útil: «¿Qué tipo de cosas disfruto o disfrutaría si pudiera hacerlas?». Leer, salir a pasear, conocer gente, sentarse en una cafetería y observar la vida allí, ver ciertas películas, hacer ganchillo, manualidades, tejer, etc. etc.».

Cuando surge algo, por supuesto es bueno detenerse en ello y -como se suele decir- profundizar en lo dicho. Por ejemplo: ¿cuáles son mis lugares favoritos para pasear, qué películas me gusta especialmente ver, etc.? Pero también podría surgir algún tipo de defensa: no, no puedo salir a pasear, me duele demasiado la rodilla o: sólo hay basura en la tele o: no, leer nunca ha sido lo mío o: no, sentarme en una cafetería, la gente suele ser demasiado estúpida para mí o hay demasiado ruido o o... que no sale nada. ¿Y entonces qué? Entonces la cosa se pone emocionante.

Llegamos al tema: siempre eres más que tu problema. Sí, ¿qué es esta persona que de alguna manera no se preocupa por mucho o por todo, qué es más que su problema? Siempre es también la persona que puede distanciarse al menos hasta cierto punto de dar vueltas alrededor de su problema y trascenderse a sí misma hacia algo distinto de su problema. En otras palabras, lo que podríamos llamar su capacidad de interesarse por la vida, o dicho de otro modo, la capacidad de estar presente en la vida, de tomar parte en ella, de volverse hacia la vida que le rodea y relacionarse con ella, es una parte inalienable de él. Esta capacidad de centrarse en la vida en lugar de verse sólo a sí mismo, de ver la gran vida que le rodea y participar en ella, de la forma que sea, esta capacidad es más que su problema. Si esta capacidad se ha atrofiado un poco, entonces necesitaría revivirla. Esto es posible, pero a veces requiere vencer la inercia, la desgana, la pasividad, la resignación y muchas otras resistencias.

Cambiar la dirección de la mirada

Los sentimientos de soledad nublan la mente por completo. También tienden a centrarse en lo que no merece la pena vivir en lugar de en lo que sí merece la pena. Por lo tanto, también puede ser útil para las personas solitarias centrarse consciente y repetidamente en aquello por lo que merece la pena vivir hoy. Para no agobiarlas, a veces es muy importante tener en cuenta lo que he dicho antes: hay que dejar que una persona se queje. No hay que acudir inmediatamente a él con lo supuestamente bueno. Eso sería cínico. Pero si se tiene esto en cuenta, a veces es casi necesario hablar con él de lo siguiente: «¿Qué buscas en realidad cuando pasas tus días así?». Tómate un tiempo para esta pregunta, deja que se asimile, no respondas rápidamente. Lo que se quiere decir con estas preguntas no es una búsqueda superficial, como por ejemplo: Estoy buscando qué cocinar para el almuerzo de hoy. No, se trata de una actitud más profunda con la que voy por la vida.

Hace algunas décadas, me planteé estas preguntas de forma bastante intensa durante un tiempo. Era una época en la que veía demasiada televisión, en parte porque me sentía muy solo. Todas las noches, en lugar de ver la televisión, salía deliberada y sistemáticamente a dar un paseo por aquí y por allá. Al hacerlo, centraba mi atención en aquello por lo que merecía la pena vivir, lo bello, lo nuevo, lo interesante, lo sorprendente. Y cada vez que volvía a casa me hacía la pregunta: ¿Valió la pena o habría sido mejor ver la tele? La respuesta cada vez era: ver la tele habría sido la peor opción. Siempre había encontrado algo por lo que valía la pena salir.

¿Qué estoy buscando subliminalmente: lo bueno, lo verdadero y lo bello, que estoy seguro de que está ahí en abundancia en la vida que me rodea cada día, o sólo una razón más por la que no hay nada más en la vida y es mejor esconderse? ¿O tal vez ya no estoy buscando nada en absoluto, sólo estoy viviendo mi vida y hundiéndome cada vez más en la resignación? Dependiendo de la orientación interior de una persona, los sentimientos de soledad aumentarán o disminuirán.

No siempre he estado solo

No sólo puedes cambiar la dirección de tu mirada en relación con la vida exterior, sino que también puedes cambiarla interiormente. V.E. Frankl habló una vez de los graneros llenos del pasado y dijo que la forma pasada de ser es la forma más segura de ser. Nadie puede quitarnos lo que fue. Definitivamente vale la pena dejar que la vida que he vivido hasta ahora pase ante mi ojo interior una y otra vez con la pregunta unilateral de todo lo bueno que he experimentado en mi vida, lo bueno que otros me han otorgado, lo bueno que la vida misma me ha dado, y todo lo bueno que ha llegado a mi vida a través de mí mismo mediante hechos y acciones que he logrado o realizado; a través de las decisiones que he tomado, a través del bien que he experimentado y a través del bien que he hecho, a través del amor que he vivido, a través de las actitudes positivas que he adquirido en el transcurso de mi vida, etc.

En esa reflexión es importante lo siguiente. Si, al cabo de dos o tres minutos, tus pensamientos y sentimientos se deslizan de nuevo hacia lo malo y lo infructuoso, es importante que, de forma suave pero constante, desvíes la mirada hacia el otro lado y vuelvas a centrarte en lo bueno.

Pero, ¿qué significa esto concretamente en relación con nuestro tema? Podría mirar mi vida desde la siguiente perspectiva y dejarla pasar: «¡No siempre he estado solo!». Podrías, por ejemplo, coger una hoja grande de papel y dibujar el flujo de tu vida, simplemente una línea larga. Podrías dividir esta línea en muchas secciones: la época anterior a la escuela, los primeros años de escuela, la adolescencia, etc. Y luego podrías detenerte en cada una de las secciones y, como ya he dicho, buscar unilateralmente las experiencias, acontecimientos y relaciones en las que no te sentiste solo, sino más bien conectado con los demás y bien. ¿Y si no surge nada? En primer lugar, le diría: entonces usted, querida persona, no ha buscado lo suficiente. Por supuesto, podría ser que no hubiera nada en absoluto, pero esa es la hipótesis menos probable de todas. A veces puede ser útil que otra persona me ayude haciéndome preguntas. A veces esto puede llevar a otra persona a profundizar en los buenos recuerdos.

Además, en una reflexión de este tipo es importante no mirar demasiado rápido lo que se vivió entonces. No, hay que mirar en profundidad, detenerse en ello, dejar que se acerque a uno, ver, oír, sentir y saborear las imágenes que surgen. A veces puede ser aconsejable dejar de lado relaciones y acontecimientos que fueron realmente hermosos pero que terminaron de forma muy dolorosa (y aún no has superado suficientemente este dolor), no ahondar en ellos. Pero me gustaría dejar que vinieran todos los demás y volver a bañarme realmente en ellos.

Entonces podría pasar a la siguiente pregunta: ¿hay posibles relaciones, actividades, experiencias que podría revivir? ¿Tal vez debería retomar el contacto con tal o cual persona? ¿No podría revivir algunas de las cosas que me hicieron bien entonces, aunque quizá de otra forma? ¿Leer, viajar, salir en lugar de quedarme en casa, etc.? ¿Y podría tal vez revivir una o dos de las formas de ser que me ayudaron a no sentirme solo entonces: por ejemplo, tender la mano a otras personas, estar abierto a la vida, mi lado optimista y no resignado, etc.?

Tal vez algunos de ustedes se pregunten ahora si sumergirse en los buenos recuerdos del pasado podría ser más perjudicial que útil en vista de la sensación de soledad de la vida actual, ya que de este modo experimentan su soledad aún más intensamente, porque el contraste con entonces se hace aún más claro. Esto no se puede descartar por completo, pero es más probable una reacción completamente diferente. Al fin y al cabo, todo lo que ha pasado ha dejado huellas emocionales en mí. Y estas huellas son energías. Y estas energías irradian en mi actitud ante la vida en el buen sentido. Me fortalecen, no sólo me hacen pensar, sino también sentir que soy más que mi problema, más que mi soledad. De este modo, también refuerzan mi sentido de mí mismo, mi autoestima, y eso a su vez me da más valor para entrar de nuevo en la vida.

Y hace algo más. La gente se acostumbra fácilmente a cómo son las cosas aquí y ahora, y así uno también puede acostumbrarse a sentirse solo. Si ahora recuerdo vívidamente tiempos en los que no estaba solo, entonces recupero una conexión emocional con lo que se siente en la vida cuando no se está solo. Y eso, a su vez, puede reforzar mi motivación para volver a buscar una vida diferente de la que vivo ahora. En otras palabras, puede darme una nueva oportunidad de vivir. Puede hacer que me golpee la cabeza contra la mesa y diga: «¿Por qué vives así en este momento? ¿Es real y fatalmente necesario que te sientas tan solo como te sientes? ¿O todavía se puede mejorar? «Sí, puede ser que necesite moverme y cambiar algo - sí. Pero eso no es ciencia espacial, funcionaría si yo quisiera.

Decir adiós a lo que era/ hacer del mundo tu hogar

He aquí otro aspecto en cierto modo relacionado con lo que se acaba de decir. A veces, al menos una parte del sentimiento de soledad se debe a que una persona simplemente no puede desprenderse de momentos buenos y bonitos que ha vivido pero que han llegado a su fin, quizá incluso contra su voluntad. Llora a otra persona que ya no está, que incluso puede haber perdido por un golpe del destino, cosas que ya no tiene, una temporada que ha terminado. Más o menos da vueltas constantemente en torno a lo perdido, lo añora y vive su presente como tanto más solitario y perdido. No es raro que el duelo que se ha convertido en crónico sea un intento -aunque desfavorable- de aferrarse a lo que se ha perdido. Y así la persona pierde ambas cosas: el pasado, porque de todos modos ya no está ahí, y el presente, porque vive constantemente en el pasado.

Lo único que ayuda es lo que podríamos llamar aceptación radical. Esto significa decir radicalmente: «Eso se acabó para siempre. Pasó y no volverá a pasar. Se acabó». No es fácil y duele mucho al principio. Pero también te libera y te abre los ojos y la actitud ante la vida para el presente y el futuro. Sí, puede haber una resistencia considerable cuando intentas hacer esto de forma tan radical. Una y otra vez -aunque ya no quieras hacerlo- vuelves a darle vueltas a lo que has perdido y al viejo dolor familiar. Entonces tienes que volver suave pero constantemente a lo que está aquí y ahora. Y tienes que darte cuenta: No tengo otro mundo, otra vida.

Y este mundo que tengo hoy, tengo que convertirlo en mi hogar. ¿Qué significa eso en términos concretos? Tengo que hablar con él, interesarme por él, entrar en él. Hace poco, una clienta mía, que ciertamente puede sufrir ataques de soledad, me dijo que le hace bien cuando -así, sin más- empieza a hablar con otras personas cuando está fuera de casa, nada del otro mundo, no, así, sin más, sobre esto o aquello. Es diferente que yo mire en silencio a mi alrededor cuando voy de compras, a la parada del autobús o al médico y no diga ni una palabra, o que me ponga en contacto con los demás de esta manera.

Hacer del mundo único en el que vivo aquí y ahora mi hogar también puede significar interesarme por las actividades culturales, deportivas y de ocio y participar en ellas. Significa superar a mi cabrón interior e ir de verdad. Y si no me gusta, no cometer el típico error de decir: «¡Ves, sabía que eso no era para mí desde el principio!». En lugar de eso, debo seguir buscando lo que se me ofrece.

Hacer del mundo en el que vivo mi hogar también puede significar lo siguiente: Hace poco estaba en la piscina. En la puerta me encontré con un hombre, supongo que de unos 50 años, que se me acercó por iniciativa propia y empezó a hablar de que montaba mucho en bicicleta. Su bicicleta estaba a su lado, llena de todo tipo de cosas. Y me dijo: «Vivo solo, pero ¿por qué voy a quedarme en casa viendo la tele? Tengo coche, pero voy mucho en bici. Recorro largas distancias, así es como veo mi entorno». Y causó una impresión totalmente caprichosa.

Ponerse al día con la vida no vivida: por fuera y por dentro

Lo siguiente también puede ayudar contra la soledad. Cada uno de nosotros, unos más, otros menos, llevamos dentro lo que podemos llamar la vida no vivida. Esto se refiere a la vida que siempre he querido vivir pero que nunca he podido o me he atrevido a hacerlo. Merece la pena tomarse el tiempo de hacerlo de vez en cuando y preguntarse: ¿Qué vida ha quedado atrás? ¿Qué he querido hacer siempre, qué estilo de vida he soñado siempre pero nunca he hecho realidad? Puede pasar tiempo hasta que esto se te ocurra. A menudo no basta con sentarse y pensarlo un momento. No, hay que pensarlo con calma. Y es importante no descartar inmediatamente lo que te venga a la mente con el comentario «es demasiado tarde para eso» o «eso es completamente irreal». Sería bueno dejar que todo lo que se te ocurra llegue. Como nunca se puede pensar en todo a la vez, también merece la pena llevar una lista de ideas o un pequeño libro de ideas. Y cada vez que se te ocurra algo, escríbelo. Así podrás tomarte tu tiempo para analizarlo todo y decidir qué es factible y qué no. Sin embargo, no debes apresurarte a descartar las cosas por irrealizables. Donde hay voluntad, no siempre hay camino, ¡pero lo hay mucho más a menudo de lo que crees!

¿Qué puede ser una vida no vivida? Por supuesto, es diferente para cada uno, pero sólo para dar algunas ideas: ¿Adónde he querido viajar siempre? ¿Qué actividad he querido hacer siempre: cantar, aprender un instrumento, unirme a un grupo de senderismo, aprender un nuevo idioma, etc.?

También puedes preguntar: ¿Qué cambios quiero hacer desde hace tiempo? Cambiar de piso o de lugar de residencia, decir adiós a tal o cual relación, atreverme a probar tal o cual nueva relación o, admitámoslo con valentía: ¿en qué país he querido vivir siempre más? Una de mis clientas se estaba planteando seriamente mudarse a Francia de forma permanente. Y así sucesivamente. La clave aquí es: no sueñes tu vida, sino atrévete a vivirla.

Un aspecto completamente distinto es el siguiente: Hay vida no vivida no sólo en la relación entre yo y el mundo exterior, en la que puedo hacer algo. Hay tanta vida no vivida en mi relación conmigo mismo. Cuanto más joven es una persona, más ansiosa está por crear su propio lugar en la vida: amigos, pareja, carrera, explorar el mundo, etc. Cuanto mayor es una persona, más ha hecho todo esto. Algunos con más éxito, otros con menos. Si tiene que ser un viaje más, un nuevo proyecto más o una nueva cosa que quiera comprar es otra cuestión. También puedes volverte hacia dentro y preguntarte qué tipo de vida se ha quedado atrás, sin vivir y sin dar forma.

En concreto, ¿qué aspectos de mí mismo que siempre me han causado problemas a mí y a los demás podría trabajar por fin en paz: mi ira, que a menudo es demasiado intensa, mi naturaleza inquieta e impulsiva, mi excesivo deseo de ayudar a los demás o mi excesivo sentido del deber de ser siempre el mejor, mi evitación de la cercanía, mi ritmo de vida demasiado acelerado, mi naturaleza demasiado alborotadora, mi excesiva necesidad de armonía y mi aversión al conflicto?

¿Podría ser que necesitara paciencia y serenidad, estar conmigo mismo sin tener que ayudar siempre, un profundo sentido interior de hogar, un coche de cercanía y amor, una existencia equilibrada no sólo por deber sino también por alegría, el atreverme a seguir mi propio camino en lugar de conformarme siempre, hacer una pausa, la amabilidad, la benevolencia, el asumir la responsabilidad de la acción en lugar de la pasividad y la cojera constantes... que todo ello, o uno o dos de ellos, fueran formas esenciales de vida que hay que redescubrir o remodelar dentro de mí? ¿o una u otra de ellas serían formas esenciales de vida que necesitan ser redescubiertas o remodeladas? Todo esto, o parte de ello, podría ser vida no vivida que está esperando a ser finalmente desplegada por mí y llevada a la vida.

Estar conectado con uno mismo

Me gustaría ampliar lo que acabo de decir desde una perspectiva ligeramente diferente. Una persona que se siente sola suele sentirse poco conectada con otras personas, con el mundo, con la vida. Y es cierto: siempre somos seres sociales que necesitan estar conectados con otras personas. Sin ninguna duda. Pero lo que necesitamos al menos en la misma medida es una conexión con nosotros mismos. Y las personas que se sienten solas pueden carecer de ella. Puede ser que estén demasiado protegidas de su propia profundidad, de su propio mundo interior, o más exactamente, aisladas de él.

¿Qué se entiende por la propia profundidad? Se refiere al mundo del inconsciente. La mayoría de la gente asocia el inconsciente con el mundo de los problemas reprimidos, los conflictos, las experiencias desagradables, etc. Y es cierto. Y es cierto. Todo eso está almacenado en nuestro inconsciente. Pero el inconsciente abarca mucho más que eso. También es el lugar donde se almacenan las fuerzas emocionales fuertes que sostienen la vida, las buenas ideas, el conocimiento profundo y bueno sobre la vida. En otras palabras, el inconsciente es una fuente de la que podemos extraer fuerzas vitales buenas y fuertes como la libertad y la ligereza a pesar de todo, el valor para afrontar la vida, la esperanza, la confianza, la seguridad de la existencia, la alegría, el sentimiento de ser querido y amado, la creatividad, la certeza sobre lo que debemos o no debemos hacer y mucho más. La pérdida de acceso a esta dimensión de profundidad que llevamos dentro contribuye sin duda al sentimiento de soledad que padecen muchos de nuestros contemporáneos.

Pero, ¿cómo recuperar el acceso a esta dimensión? El camino del silencio es esencial. Te retiras a una habitación donde haya silencio. Dejas de escuchar buena música, no te molestan los ruidos y simplemente intentas estar en silencio. Por supuesto, en lugar de aquietarse, puede empezar a hacer mucho ruido. Te vienen a la mente pensamientos, preocupaciones, sentimientos desagradables y otras cosas. Entonces puedes decir a estos pensamientos y preocupaciones: «por favor, sé tan amable y espera fuera de la puerta un ratito». No tengas miedo, te recogeré más tarde, pero en este momento tengo otras cosas que hacer. Por favor, no se ofenda, volveré. Y luego puedes seguir esperando a que se haga cada vez más silencioso dentro de ti.

¿Y entonces qué? Entonces podrías simplemente percibir cómo eres, cómo te sientes, cómo te sientes. Y entonces puedes experimentar cosas asombrosas. Pueden surgir sentimientos que antes ni siquiera sentías y que no encajan con toda la inquietud, la preocupación, la prisa que había. Puede tratarse de sentimientos de profunda calma interior, de paz interior, de estar incuestionablemente protegido, de estar conectado con uno mismo y con la vida, de profunda gratitud por la vida, de alegría y serenidad y mucho más. Simplemente deberíamos detenernos en estas percepciones. No hay que analizar nada, sólo dejar que se asimilen.

También puedes centrarte en una palabra de enfoque en silencio. Te concentras en un sentimiento, en una energía que deseas más que antes, por ejemplo, en la palabra «libertad». Ya no piensas en la libertad, sino que dejas que penetre en ti. Puedes imaginar que con cada respiración inhalas profundamente la libertad, dejándola fluir por todos los poros de tu cuerpo y de tu mente y simplemente exhalando con cada respiración los sentimientos desagradables y no libres. Mientras te concentras en la palabra libertad, puedes dejar que cualquier fantasía, imagen interior, etc. venga a ti libremente. A continuación, puedes detenerte en una de esas imágenes y dejar que se asiente durante un rato. O también puedes escribir la palabra libertad con tu dedo interior delante de tu ojo interior y dejar que tenga un efecto en ti y mirar casualmente esta palabra. A veces ocurren cosas maravillosas: de repente puede surgir una hermosa luz de esta palabra, que irradia mucho calor y mucho más.

¿Y qué se supone que hace esto para combatir la soledad? Me ayuda a reconectar más conmigo misma, vuelvo a estar más conmigo misma que antes - y no en círculos alrededor de todo lo que me deprime, sino con lo que me fortalece. Y eso, naturalmente, me hace sentir mucho más feliz en la vida y me fortalece para entrar en el mundo de una manera nueva.

Atrévete a acercarte a otras personas

A veces, la soledad también se debe a que tengo demasiado miedo de los demás. La mera idea de acercarme a los demás y simplemente hablar con ellos puede dar lugar a pensamientos como: «Cómo me atrevo a acercarme así a la otra persona, seguro que no quiere saber nada de mí, como mucho se sentirá acosada y presionada por mí». O: «¿Quién eres tú para hablar con esa otra persona? Basta con mirarle. Está muy por encima de ti en la clasificación social. ¿Estás loco para ponerte a merced de alguien tan grande? Será mejor que mantengas la boca cerrada». El miedo a los demás puede manifestarse así y de muchas otras maneras, y tú te retraes y te quedas solo.

Claro que puedes hacerlo, pero desde el punto de vista de no querer estar más solo, es un comportamiento desfavorable. Un remedio para esto no es evitar las situaciones que provocan ansiedad, sino buscarlas. No buscar la ansiedad, sino las situaciones que me provocan ansiedad, como acercarme a otras personas.

He tenido mis propias experiencias al respecto. Yo solía ser una persona extraordinariamente tímida y tenía demasiado miedo de acercarme a personas con las que quería tener contacto. Pero entonces me dije: No, no voy a aguantar eso de mí misma. No quiero que mi vida se acabe en cierto modo antes de haber empezado de verdad. No quería aguantar estar siempre al margen, sin atreverme a hacer nada y luego volver a sentarme en casa sintiéndome frustrada y sola. Así que me atreví a acercarme a los demás, a hablar con ellos, a preguntarles si queríamos quedar. No fue fácil. Y también he vivido algunas situaciones realmente embarazosas que desearía que nunca hubieran ocurrido. Y también he tenido algunas experiencias mediocres, no especialmente buenas pero tampoco malas. Y me ha tocado el gordo algunas veces. Todo eso forma parte de la vida: a veces fallas de verdad y a veces aciertas de verdad. Así es la vida. Lo más importante es que no me he convertido en una persona solitaria, sino en una persona que está en medio de la vida y se siente conectada.

Una forma agradable, aunque no fácil, de ayudarme en el camino fue exponerme deliberadamente a situaciones embarazosas. Por ejemplo, para superar mi timidez, grité en voz alta en el abarrotado metro de Hamburgo en hora punta por la mañana: «¡Billetes, por favor!». Y todo el mundo pensó que yo era el revisor y empezó a buscar el billete en los bolsillos de sus chaquetas. Todos me miraban, me puse colorado y tuve que asegurar al vagón que era una broma. Fue muy embarazoso, pero este tipo de ejercicios me ayudaron a superar el miedo.

Ser tu propio amigo

La soledad también puede estar fomentada por el hecho de no gustarme lo suficiente, de no quererme lo suficiente. Por eso vale la pena preguntarse una y otra vez: «¿Hasta qué punto estoy realmente de mi lado?». ¿Cómo pienso y me siento realmente conmigo mismo?». ¿Soy más o menos mi amigo interior, o soy quizás más de lo que creo, mi enemigo interior? En otras palabras, ¿podría ser que esté demasiado en contra de mí mismo desde dentro? ¿Me empequeñezco demasiado, me menosprecio, me infravaloro, me devalúo, etc. y, en consecuencia, hago a los demás demasiado grandes e importantes?

Si este es el caso, es importante darse cuenta de lo siguiente: en cada uno de nosotros actúan dos fuerzas básicas que, en última instancia, son totalmente independientes de nuestra educación, etc. Una de estas fuerzas básicas quiere que nos sintamos realmente bien, podríamos llamarla -de forma un tanto florida- nuestro amigo interior. Este lado nos da valor para nosotros mismos, nos anima a salir al mundo, nos hace sentir «Es bueno que estemos aquí». La otra fuerza quiere exactamente lo contrario. Aunque parezca una locura, quiere empequeñecernos, nos susurra que no somos nada, que deberíamos avergonzarnos profundamente de nosotros mismos, no sólo por esto o aquello sobre nosotros, sino simplemente por nuestra propia existencia. Este lado podría llamarse el enemigo interior. En última instancia, nuestras vidas están atrapadas entre estos dos polos. Y nosotros nos situamos entre ellos. Por supuesto, de qué lado estamos más cerca, del amigo interior o del enemigo interior, es muy importante para nuestra actitud ante la vida.

¿Qué podría ayudarme a acercarme cada vez más al lado que realmente quiere lo mejor para mí? En primer lugar, sería bueno hacer balance, es decir, darme cuenta de a cuál de estos dos lados estoy más cerca en mi vida cotidiana. Darme cuenta conscientemente de que, por ejemplo, me empequeñezco una y otra vez, pienso mal de mí mismo, etc. Esto es muy diferente de cuando simplemente sucede en un estado embotado sin que yo me dé cuenta conscientemente. Porque sólo puedo moldear aquello de lo que soy realmente consciente. Así que si noto que estoy demasiado en contra de mí mismo, entonces vale la pena hacer una pausa y decirme: el hecho de que me sienta así, de que piense tan negativamente de mí mismo, no ocurre porque sí. Hay un método detrás. Hay una fuerza detrás que no quiere que me sienta bien. Esta fuerza no soy yo, pero la encuentro dentro de mí. Se apodera de mí, quiere extenderse dentro de mí e impedirme vivir.

Pero si yo lo permito es una segunda cuestión. Tengo algo que decir al respecto. Puedo seguir ciegamente este lado destructivo. Sin embargo, eso aumentaría considerablemente las posibilidades de que me sintiera solo. Pero también puedo indignarme con él, no dejar que me aguante todo, sino dirigirme al otro lado, a mi amigo interior, y escuchar lo que tiene que decirme. No quiere hacerme sentir pequeño, sino que se alegra por mí, quiere que me sienta bien y me transmite sentimientos profundamente amorosos.

Por eso, para contrarrestar el sentimiento de soledad, merece la pena mirarse una y otra vez a través de los ojos del amigo interior e imaginarse lo que éste le diría en las situaciones cambiantes de su vida cotidiana. Podrías imaginártelo de forma muy concreta, como si estuviera a tu lado y preguntarle: «¿Qué me diría ahora?». Podría decir, por ejemplo «Deja de compararte siempre con los demás. Tú eres tú. Y eso es bueno. Sí, tienes defectos, como todo el mundo. Pero eso no significa que seas un error. El hecho de que estés aquí es un milagro de la vida. Eres un regalo de vida para ti mismo y para los demás. Desenvuelve el regalo que eres y deja que brille en tu vida. A tu manera. Para eso estás en este mundo, para revelarte a tu manera. No debes ser una copia de los demás; no debes ser como ellos quieren que seas. No, por favor, por favor, sé tú mismo. Es maravilloso que estés aquí». Ni que decir tiene que una persona que se siente así consigo misma está menos sola que otra que se deja bombardear constantemente por la negatividad de su enemigo interior.

Las raíces histórico-vitales de la soledad

El hecho de que una persona sea más o menos amiga interior depende no sólo de lo que se acaba de decir, sino también del curso de la vida. Los acontecimientos que han sucedido en el curso de la vida ya son historia en el momento en que suceden. El ahora ya es pasado. Lo que queda son las impresiones internas que los acontecimientos producen en nosotros. Quedan impresas en nuestra mente y contribuyen significativamente a cómo nos sentimos.

Si una persona ha tenido algún tipo de experiencias en la historia de su vida que han favorecido la experiencia de la soledad, entonces estas experiencias se trasladarán a la actualidad y tendrán una poderosa influencia en nuestra actitud ante la vida.

Y así, puede ocurrir que en realidad no haya ninguna causa significativa de soledad en la vida actual de una persona: hay amigos, puede que incluso haya pareja, hay un trabajo que se justifica, etc. Y, sin embargo, de algún modo, sigue sintiéndose sola, tal vez muy sola. Entonces es muy posible que el llamado niño interior herido que hay en él hable y le haga la vida difícil. Si una persona quiere que el sentimiento de soledad disminuya, preferiblemente que desaparezca por completo, puede ser necesario que se vuelva hacia el niño interior herido durante un tiempo y que trabaje las viejas heridas históricas de la vida. Si las secuelas de viejas heridas son demasiado fuertes, entonces toda la atención a lo llamado positivo en mi vida presente por sí sola no ayudará. Debe complementarse con la superación de lo sucedido. No es raro necesitar un especialista, un terapeuta.

Pero, ¿puedes conseguir algo por ti mismo? Al menos puede intentarlo. Sin embargo, el requisito para ello es una estabilidad mental suficiente para que no te desestabilice volver a rememorar los días de tu infancia y juventud. Puedes tomarte tu tiempo para recordar aquellos días y preguntarte: «¿Cuáles eran mis sentimientos básicos entonces? ¿Qué nombres tenían? ¿Cuáles eran las causas de esos sentimientos?». Por regla general, las causas de estos sentimientos están esencialmente enraizadas en las relaciones con los cuidadores primarios de entonces, es decir, a menudo en las relaciones con el padre y la madre. Tomar conciencia de estos sentimientos sería un primer paso. Siempre es una buena idea nombrarlos con la mayor precisión posible. No basta con decir: «Me sentía frustrado». «Tenía mucha presión». O algo similar. No, los nombres de los sentimientos deben ser lo más claros posible y debe ser posible volver a sentirlos. Pueden ser sentimientos de profunda vergüenza interior hacia mí mismo, ira interior hacia mí mismo y hacia mis padres, miedo a mis padres, tristeza, dolor, etc.

Entonces sería bueno tomar al niño interior que ha sido herido de esta manera muy suavemente en tus brazos interiores, para consolarlo, para estar con él. Y sería importante volver a expresar muy claramente cualquier posible indignación hacia aquellos que te han herido de esta manera. Por último, podrías preguntarte muy conscientemente: «¿Quién está realmente solo aquí: soy realmente yo aquí y ahora, o es el niño interior herido dentro de mí?». Estas serían algunas sugerencias muy breves sobre lo que podrías hacer tú mismo. Sin embargo, hay mucho, mucho más que decir. Sólo que iría completamente más allá del alcance aquí.

Cada vez menos en contra, cada vez más «sí» a la vida

La soledad en mi actitud ante la vida puede seguir intensificándose, y a veces incluso fundamentándose, en las idiosincrasias personales que tengo. No estoy pensando en las realmente buenas, sino más bien en las peculiaridades problemáticas que se pueden tener. Por supuesto, hay bastantes.

Una característica muy extendida y desagradable de la gente que fomenta la soledad es quejarse, estar de alguna manera en contra, refunfuñar contra la vida: contra el tiempo, contra los Ferrocarriles Federales, contra el tráfico, contra los malvados otros, etc.

Por supuesto: quejarse forma parte de la vida tanto como cotillear. No se trata de dejar de quejarse, no es tan raro quejarse por buenas razones. Se trata más bien de no dejar que el desacuerdo se vuelva crónico. En definitiva, se trata de una actitud fundamental ante la vida que viene de lo más profundo. Es importante hacerse la pregunta: ¿Qué estoy diciendo en esencia: sí o no a la vida? Esta actitud básica profunda desde la que enfoco la vida determina el tono básico de mi carisma. Y eso, a su vez, me hace más o menos atractivo para otras personas. ¿Quién quiere estar cerca de alguien que irradia una vibración más bien hostil? Y, por otro lado, ¿quién no quiere estar cerca de alguien que afirma la vida, está abierto a la vida y vive en el modo del amor, a pesar de todas las adversidades que existen cada día en la vida de cada uno? Esa actitud abierta y amorosa ante la vida se refuerza, por ejemplo, dejándose claro a uno mismo: Yo no soy el centro de la vida y la vida tiene que servirme con todo lo que tanto me gustaría. Más bien, la vida misma está en el centro y la forma en que conduzco mi vida debe proporcionar constantemente respuestas nuevas y vivificantes a las preguntas que la vida me plantea aquí y ahora.

Otra actitud básica que aumenta la soledad es la rederitis[2]. Hay personas que ocupan literalmente la palabra en una conversación, que más o menos te hablan por debajo de la mesa sin puntos ni comas. Puedes hacer ruidos, como respirar hondo, mover un poco la silla, aclararte la garganta, etc., para indicar que quieres decir algo. Nada de esto ayuda, no se puede decir ni una palabra.

También existe el caso contrario: la persona que prefiere entretenerse, que no aporta nada de su parte a una conversación, una actividad, etc. Esto tampoco es muy atractivo para los demás.

Y el mandonismo crónico, o su opuesto, hablar constantemente con desprecio a los demás, tampoco es especialmente atractivo. Más bien incita a los demás a alejarse de él en lugar de acercarse.

Estas características desfavorables podrían añadirse fácilmente.

En resumen, se podría formular esta pregunta, que puedes hacerte a ti mismo y, por supuesto, a los demás: «¿Qué retroalimentación típica y crítica recibo realmente una y otra vez con respecto a mi comportamiento y mi ser? ¿Qué rasgos más bien desfavorables, si soy sincero, conozco de mí mismo? Merece la pena trabajar en esto, ya que reduce el riesgo de hundirse en la soledad.

Evitar los prejuicios sensoriales

A veces las personas también están más solas de lo que deberían porque viven de forma demasiado unilateral durante un largo periodo de tiempo. Todos necesitamos no sólo uno, sino varios pilares de sentido en los que basar nuestra vida. Demasiada unilateralidad puede hacer que te sientas solo. Por ejemplo, si sólo trabajas, sólo te relajas, sólo te centras en tus hijos, sólo lees buenos libros, etc., no tienes por qué hacerlo, pero puedes descubrir que tu actitud ante la vida se vuelve cada vez más incolora y vacía y empiezas a sentirte solo. Cuantos más significados y de distintos colores experimente en mi vida cotidiana, menos solo me sentiré.

Sin duda, vivir las relaciones también forma parte de una vida con sentido. Y las relaciones no sólo deben experimentarse pasivamente, sino también cultivarse activamente. También merece la pena echar un vistazo a esto: ¿Cómo afronto las relaciones en las que vivo? ¿Dejo que sigan su curso o las cultivo activamente?

A veces, sin embargo, las personas no sólo sufren por falta de sentido, sino también por pérdida de sentido. Por supuesto, entonces es importante buscar un nuevo sentido. Pero a veces, sencillamente, no es posible encontrarlo. Pero entonces todavía es posible esperar con los brazos abiertos, es decir, en una actitud orientada a la vida, a que me llegue de la vida -sin que yo haga nada- una nueva vida que todavía no puedo ver. Lo decisivo aquí es no dejarse llevar por la resignación, sino esperar la vida misma y estar abierto a lo que vendrá.

Las personas solitarias necesitan la ayuda activa de otras personas

En mis reflexiones hasta ahora, me he centrado esencialmente en la pregunta: ¿Qué puedo hacer para sentirme lo menos solo posible? Y en mi opinión, ésa es también la pregunta central, porque en última instancia sólo yo puedo cambiar mi actitud ante la vida.

Sin embargo, también hay un número suficiente de personas que sencillamente ya no pueden arreglárselas por sí solas debido a enfermedades o dolencias físicas, dificultades materiales, trastornos psicológicos, etcétera. En estos casos, la ayuda depende esencialmente de sus semejantes. Sería cínico esperar que la persona afectada lo haga. Tienen que moverse. Simplemente no pueden hacerlo. Depende de otros.

Permítanme resumir mi presentación:

Superar la soledad requiere toda la motivación de la persona

Cada persona es siempre más que su problema.

Merece la pena cambiar de perspectiva y pasar de los déficits a lo bueno y exitoso

Reflexionar sobre los tiempos en que no estaba solo

Decir adiós a lo que fue

Hacer del mundo en el que ahora vivo mi hogar

Ponerme al día con la vida no vivida

Estar conectado conmigo mismo

Atreverse a acercarse a otras personas

Ser o convertirse en su propio amigo

Trabajar las raíces histórico-vitales de la soledad

Decir cada vez más sí a la vida

Evitar la unilateralidad

Acudir en ayuda de las personas que ya no pueden valerse por sí mismas

[1] El significado de demandar aquí significa «alegar la suerte de uno». No usamos este significado para «demandar» en el inglés americano moderno, pero lo conozco de un viejo himno, «Did You Think to Pray?» de M.A. Kidder: «Ere you left your room this morning, Did you think to pray? En el nombre de Cristo nuestro Salvador, ¿Solicitaste el amoroso favor, Como un escudo hoy?».

[2] Significa ser muy hablador. Podríamos hacer un juego de palabras con «logo-rhea», diarrea de la boca.

Hilfen gegen die Einsamkeit

By Dr. Stephan Peeck

Institut für Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse Hamburg-Bergedorf, Germany 

Ausgangsuation:

Erleben von Einsamkeit ist ein weit verbreitetes Problem unserer Zeit. Es durchzieht alle Altersklassen, betrifft also durchaus nicht nur ältere bzw. wirklich alte Menschen, sondern ebenso junge Menschen wie auch Menschen, die sich, wie man so sagt, in der Blütezeit ihres Lebens befinden. Einsamkeitserleben ist auch keineswegs auf bestimmte soziale Schichten begrenzt, es durchzieht alle Schichten: arm und reich und alles, was dazwischen liegen mag.

Gleichwohl wird es eine Vielzahl von auslösenden Faktoren geben, die Einsamkeitserleben begünstigen. Armut aber auch der schnelle materielle Aufstieg können solche Auslöser sein, ebenso kann körperliche oder auch psychische Krankheit einsam machen, der Verlust des Arbeitsplatzes, im Alter auch das Wegsterben von vertrauten Menschen, Schicksalsschläge u.v.a.m.

Man kann sich einsam fühlen, obwohl man viele Menschen kennt, obwohl man in einer Partnerschaft lebt, obwohl man Kinder hat. Und ebenso kann man sich einsam fühlen, weil man viel zu sehr ohne engere oder auch weitläufigere soziale Kontakte lebt.

Leitfrage meines Vortrags soll nun sein: Was gibt es für Hilfen, die aus der Einsamkeit herausführen bzw. ihr Erleben zumindest lindern können? Darum soll es im Folgenden gehen.

Man kann dieses Thema nun unter sehr unterschiedlichen Blickwinkeln beleuchten. Meine Perspektive, aus der heraus ich dieses Thema in meinem Vortrag anschauen will ist Folgende:

Vor mir sitzt nun der sich einsam fühlende Mensch. Welche Anregungen kann ich ihm im direkten Gespräch mit ihm geben, welche Fragen kann ich ihm stellen, welchen Zuspruch kann ich ihm geben, damit sich sein Einsamkeitsgefühl zumindest etwas verringert, bestenfalls auflöst. Ich frage in meinem Vortrag also nicht danach, welche Unterhaltungsangebote, welche Begegnungsangebote etc. könnte man ihm machen, damit er sich nicht mehr so einsam fühlt. Ich frage vielmehr danach, was könnte ihm in der Auseinandersetzung mit sich selbst helfen, Einsamkeit zu reduzieren – in gewisser Weise soll es also um Hilfe zur Selbsthilfe gehen. Wichtig ist mir in der Vorbereitung dabei gewesen, Ihnen Hilfen an die Hand zu geben, die m.E. jeder von Ihnen – auch ohne ein Psychologe zu sein – praktizieren kann, wenn er es denn möchte.

Motivation:

Um ein inneres Problem, das mich nennenswerter plagt, loswerden oder sogar überwinden zu können, bedarf es in aller Regel den vollen existentiellen Einsatz. Das gilt wie für die Überwindung von Ängsten, Depressionen, Süchten u.v.a. inneren Problemen, die es so gibt, genauso auch für das Leiden unter Einsamkeitsgefühlen. Wenn mich Einsamkeitsgefühle nennenswerter und anhaltender plagen, dann wird es nicht anders gehen, als dass ich mich mit wirklich echtem und hohem existentiellen Einsatz darum kümmere, sie zu minimieren oder am besten ganz zu überwinden.

Warum ist es wichtig, das überhaupt extra zu erwähnen? Es ist deshalb wichtig, weil es die Motivationsfrage berührt bzw. ist. Und bekanntlich ist eine stimmige Motivation die halbe Miete!

     Konkret: Viele Menschen lieben es zu klagen. Und das ist ja auch völlig legitim. Menschen brauchen die Klage über das, was ihnen weh tut bzw. Mühe macht. Keine Frage! Nur: man muss hier unterscheiden lernen, sowohl als Betroffener als auch als Helfer. Ein Mensch kann sich aus-klagen aber auch ein-klagen. Ausklagen ist wichtig. Ohne das ein Mensch sich zunächst ausgeklagt hat, wird er nur schwer Veränderungsprozesse einleiten können. Das ihn Quälende und Bedrückende lastet ja schwer auf seinem Gemüt. Und die Klage bzw. das Sich-Ausklagen ist eine Facette der Freiheit des Menschen der Situation gegenüber. Kurzum: man muss sich sein Elend von der Seele reden bzw. Klagen können. Und dazu braucht man einen Menschen, der einem wirklich zuhört – und zwar nicht nur methodisch korrekt, sondern vom Herzen her. Menschen brauchen eben Zeugen für ihr Leben, für das Gute und Schöne ebenso wie für das Schwere und Schmerzhafte.

     Aber: vom Ausklagen muss man das Sich-Einklagen unterscheiden. Das hilft nämlich gar nichts, im Gegenteil: es schwächt einen Menschen. Da besteht die Gefahr, dass die Klage zum Sinnersatz wird. Klagen wird zum Lebensinhalt und das ist so eine Art Negativsinn, der wenig bekömmlich ist.

    Damit sind bereits zwei ganz konkrete Hilfen für die Bewältigung von Einsamkeit benannt. Die Klage muss und darf sein. Ein vom Herzen her kommendes Zuhören eines anderen ist dabei sehr wohltuend. Ebenso wichtig kann es aber sein, selbst darauf zu achten, dass man sich nicht in der Klage verliert. Wichtig ist es dann natürlich, sich auch der Frage zuzuwenden: was könnte ich denn, wenn vielleicht auch mit Hilfe von anderen, gegen meine Einsamkeit tun.

    Damit ist gleich ein weiterer Punkt angesprochen: nicht wenige Menschen warten gerne darauf, dass „es“ sich ändert, dass „es“ besser wird, dass gleichsam von außen, auf welche Weise nun auch immer, eine Hilfe kommt, durch die sich mein Problem, z.B .meine Einsamkeit, dann auflöst oder zumindest reduziert: dass also endlich einmal Besuch kommt, dass sich die Kinder endlich einmal wieder melden, dass die verbliebenen Freunde mich endlich einmal wieder anrufen etc. Und das darf man ja auch. Zuweilen kann es sogar das Mittel der Wahl sein, wenn ich meine Möglichkeiten wirklich ausgeschöpft habe, dass ich – statt zu resignieren - aktiv darauf zuwarte, dass das Leben selbst mit neuen Möglichkeiten auf mich zukommt, die ich heute noch nicht sehen kann. So ein Aktives Darauf-zu-Warten ist allerdings etwas völlig anderes als eine passivistisch-resignative, zuweilen auch seinsträge oder seinsfaule Haltung, die das Glück primär von den anderen erwartet.   

      Und um letztere geht es hier in diesem Punkt. Es geht darum, mit sich selbst darüber ins Gespräch zu kommen: „Wer um alles in der Welt soll denn mein Einsamsein verändern, wenn nicht ich selbst?“ Dass Menschen dabei zuweilen Hilfe brauchen, versteht sich von selbst. Aber: die Einsicht, dass ich mich bewegen muss – was auch immer das dann konkret heißt -, dass ich mich bewegen muss, um Einsamkeitsgefühle zu überwinden, diese Einsicht ist sehr wichtig. Sonst wird sich nichts tun. Und mit Einsicht ist keineswegs gemeint, dass ich diesen Satz denken kann und ihm freudig kopfnickend zustimme. Nein, gemeint ist eine tief von innen, vom Herzen her kommende Einsicht. Nur die hat nämlich die Kraft mich in Bewegung zu bringen.

      Ergänzen lässt sich die Frage: „Wer denn, wenn nicht ich selber“ sehr schön durch die Frage: „Und wenn nicht jetzt, wann denn dann?“ Diese Frage wendet sich gegen die ewige Aufschieberitis.

        Schließlich ein letzter Punkt in diesem Zusammenhang der Motivationsfrage: nicht wenige Menschen wollen – verständlicher Weise – ihre Not, ihr Problem, z.B. ihre Einsamkeitsgefühle -loswerden, aber ansonsten ganz die Alten bleiben. Sie wollen das Symptom loswerden, ohne sich der häufig tieferliegenden Wurzel des Symptoms in ihnen selbst zuzuwenden. Häufig muss aber gerade das sein, damit es wirklich und nachhaltig besser wird. Ob ein Mensch das wirklich will, kann natürlich nur er entscheiden. Allerdings: Entscheidungen haben Folgen – solche oder solche. Der Einwand an dieser Stelle: dafür bin ich doch wirklich viel zu alt, gilt nicht: amtlich ist: ein Mensch kann sich verändern bis hin zum letzten Atemzug.

Das also sind zwei weitere Hilfen gegen die Einsamkeit: „Was kann ich denn tun, damit sich deine Situation ändert?“ Und die Frage: „Könnte es sein, dass ich michn ein Stück verändern müsste, damit es besser wird?“

          Aber einmal angenommen, ein Mensch ist nun motiviert, er will wirklich das tun, was ihm möglich ist. Was wären nun weitere Hilfen?

Ich bin immer mehr als mein Problem

Menschen in unseren Breiten neigen dazu, sich doch sehr auf das Problem zu konzentrieren, ja man könnte fast sagen, sich mit einer merkwürdigen Wonne darauf regelrecht zu fixieren. Das ist ungünstig und verdunkelt das Lebensgefühl unnötiger maßen, denn: jeder Mensch ist unter (fast) allen Umständen immer mehr als sein Problem. Stellen Sie sich einen großen Raum vor. In diesem Raum steht u.a. ein Tisch und auf der Tischplatte ist ein unschöner Fleck. Fast magisch wird nun der Blick eines Menschen immer wieder angezogen von diesem in der Tat sehr unschönen Fleck. Stellt man sich das einmal bildlich und sehr zugespitzt vor, dann könnte man sagen: er geht immer dichter an diesen Fleck heran und sieht schlussendlich nichts anderes mehr als den Fleck. Und völlig folgerichtig stellt sich in ihm das Gefühl ein: ich bin dieser Fleck. Dass das für das Lebensgefühl unerbaulich ist, versteht sich von selbst.

    Auf den sich einsam fühlenden Menschen bezogen: ja, er fühlt sich einsam und darüber muss er sprechen und sich ausklagen dürfen. Dann aber lohnt es sich, ihm auch einmal folgende Frage zu stellen: „Wer eigentlich bist Du noch – außer der Mensch, der sich einsam fühlt.“ „Ist da gar kein anderes Gefühl mehr in Dir außer nur Einsamkeit?“ „Ist da gar kein anderes Sein mehr in Dir außer das Einsamsein?“ „Hast Du wirklich schon einmal darüber nachgedacht, nachgesonnen, dass Du immer auch mehr bist als nur dein Problem?“

   Die Erfahrung zeigt, dass Menschen, die nennenswerter unter einem Problem leiden, diese Frage zwar hören, aber statt sie wirklich aufzunehmen, ganz schnell wieder bei der Ausbreitung ihrer Not sind. Dann ist es wichtig, sich ganz behutsam darauf aufmerksam zu machen und mich sanft aber konsequent wieder auf die Frage zurück zu lenken. Wichtig ist es dann, dass es konkret wird: Um was bin ich denn nun mehr als mein Problem? So ganz allgemein nützt dieser Satz wenig, er muss gefüllt werden.

Was könnte das sein? Folgende Gedankenanstöße könnten hilfreich sein: „Was für Inhalte gibt es denn, die mir Freude machen bzw. Freude machen würden, wenn ich sie denn tun würde oder könnte?“ Lesen, Spazierengehen, Menschen treffen, im Caffee sitzen und das Leben dort anschauen, bestimmte Filme gucken, Häckeln, Basteln, Stricken etc. etc.“

   Wenn dann etwas kommt, ist es natürlich gut, dabei zu verweilen und – wie man so sagt - tiefer in das Gesagte einzusteigen, also z.B.: was sind denn so meine Lieblingsstrecken beim Spazierengehen, welche Filme schaue ich besonders gern etc. Es kann aber auch sein, dass außer einer wie auch immer gearteten Abwehr: nein, Spazierengehen geht nicht, das Knie tut zu weh oder: Im Fernsehen kommt doch nur Schrott oder: nee, Lesen war noch nie so mein Ding oder: nee, so im Caffee rumsitzen, da sind mir die Leute oft zu blöd oder es ist zu laut oder oder oder… , dass da gar nihts kommt. Was dann?

    Dann wird es spannend. Wir sind bei dem Thema: Du bist immer mehr als dein Problem. Ja, um was ist denn dieser Mensch, bei dem vieles oder alles irgendwie nicht geht, was ist er denn mehr als sein Problem? Er ist immer auch der Mensch, der sich zumindest ein Stück weit vom Kreisen um sein Problem distanzieren und sich auf anderes als sein Problem hin transzendieren kann. M.a.W.: Unverlierbar zu ihm gehört das, was man seine Interessierfähigkeit für Leben nennen könnte oder anders ausgedrückt: unverlierbar zu ihm gehört die Fähigkeit, im Leben dabei sein zu können, an Leben Anteil nehmen zu können, sich zu dem ihn umgebenden Leben hinwenden und sich auf es beziehen zu können. Diese Fähigkeit, sich auf das Leben hin auszurichten, statt nur sich selber zu sehen, das große mich umgebende Leben sehen und an ihm in welcher Weise nun auch immer Anteil zu nehmen, um diese Fähigkeit z.B. ist er mehr als sein Problem. Diese Fähigkeit, sollte sie etwas verkümmert sein, müsste er dann neu beleben. Das geht, nur es kostet zuweilen Überwindung von Trägheit, Lustlosigkeit, Passivität, Resignation und manch anderen Widerständen mehr.

Blickrichtung ändern

Einsamkeitsgefühle trüben das Gemüt insgesamt ein., sie lenken auch den Blick eher auf das, wofür es sich nicht zu leben lohnt anstatt auf das, wofür es sich zu leben lohnt. Deshalb kann es für den einsamen Menschen ebenfalls eine Hilfe sein, ganz bewusst und immer wieder den Blick auf das zu richten, wofür es sich heute zu leben lohnt. Damit man ihn damit nicht überfordert, ist es zuweilen wirklich wichtig, das oben Gesagte zu bedenken: ein Mensch muss sich ausklagen dürfen. Man darf ihm nicht gleich mit dem sog. Guten kommen. Das wäre zynisch. Berücksichtigt man das aber, dann ist es zuweilen geradezu not-wendend mit ihm über Folgendes zu sprechen: „Wonach suchst Du eigentlich, wenn Du so durch deine Tage gehst?“ „Nimm Dir einmal etwas Zeit für diese Frage, lass sie auf Dich wirken, antworte nicht schnell.“ Gemeint ist mit diesen Fragen nicht das ganz oberflächliche Suchen, wie z.B.: ich suche nachdem, was ich heute zum Mittagessen kochen soll. Nein, gemeint ist eine tieferliegende Haltung, mit der ich so durch das Leben gehe.

Ich habe mir diese Fragen vor einigen Jahrzehnten einmal eine zeitlang selber ganz intensiv gestellt. Das war in einer Zeit, in der ich viel zu viel Fernsehen geguckt hatte, auch weil ich mich spürbarer einsam fühlte. Ich bin dann jeden Abend anstatt Fernsehen zu schauen, ganz bewusst und konsequent nach draußen gegangen, spazieren gegangen, hierhin und dorthin. Dabei habe ich meinen Blick recht aufmerksam auf das Lebenswerte, das Schöne, das Neue, das Interessante, das Überraschende gelenkt. Und jedesmal, wenn ich dann wieder zu Hause angekommen war, habe ich mir die Frage gestellt: Hat es sich gelohnt – oder wäre Fernsehgucken die bessere Option gewesen. Die Antwort lautete jedesmal: Fernsehen wäre die schlechtere Option gewesen. Ich hatte immer etwas gefunden, wofür es sich gelohnt hatte, nach draußen zu gehen.

   Wonach suche ich unterschwellig: nach dem Guten, Wahren und Schönen, das es in dem mich jeden Tag umgebenden Leben mit Sicherheit in Hülle und Fülle gibt – oder lediglich nach immer noch einem Grund, warum das alles doch nichts mehr ist mit dem Leben und man sich am besten nur noch verkriecht. Oder: suche ich vielleicht auch überhaupt nicht mehr, lebe ich mein Leben einfach nur noch so ab und versinke so allmählich immer weiter in meiner Resignation? Je nachdem, wie ein Mensch sich hier innerlich ausrichtet wird er Einsamkeitsgefühle eher verstärken oder aber sie vermindern.

Ich bin nicht immer einsam gewesen

Die Blickrichtung kann man nicht nur auf das äußere Leben bezogen ändern, man kann sie auch nach innen hin ändern. V.E. Frankl hat einmal von den vollen Scheunen der Vergangenheit gesprochen und gesagt: die gewesene Form des Seins sei die sicherste Form des Seins. Das was War kann mir keiner mehr wegnehmen. Es lohnt sich ganz bestimmt, immer wieder einmal mein bislang gelebtes Leben an meinem inneren Auge vorbeiziehen zu lassen unter der ganz einseitigen Fragestellung nach all dem Guten, was ich in meinem Leben erlebt habe: nach dem Guten, das andere mir haben zuteil werden lassen, nachdem Guten, das das Leben selbst mir geschenkt hat und ebenso nach all dem Guten, das durch mich selbst in mein Leben gekommen ist: durch Taten und Handlungen, die ich vollbracht bzw. getan habe, durch Entscheidungen, die ich getroffen habe, durch Liebe, die ich gelebt habe, durch positive Haltungen und Einstellungen, die ich im Verlaufe des Lebens so gewonnen habe.

    Wichtig ist bei so einer Besinnung das Folgende. Sollten die Gedanken und Gefühle dabei wie von allein nach zwei, drei Minuten wieder abgleiten in das eher Ungute und Misslungene, dann ist es wichtig, den Blick immer wieder sanft aber konsequent auf die andere Seite zu lenken und mich wieder neu auf das Gute zu besinnen.

     Was aber bedeutet das speziell auf unser Thema bezogen? Ich könnte mein Leben einmal unter folgendem Gesichtspunkt anschauen und an mir vorbeiziehen lassen: „Ich bin nicht immer einsam gewesen!“ Man könnte sich z.B. ein großes Blatt Papier nehmen und seinen Lebensfluß aufmalen, einfach eine lange Linie. Und diese Linie könnte man in viele Abschnitte unterteilen: die Zeit vor der Schule, die ersten Schuljahre, die Jugendzeit etc. Und dann könnte man bei den einzelnen Abschnitten verweilen und – wie gesagt – ganz einseitig nach den Erlebnissen, Ereignissen und Beziehungen suchen, in denen ich mich nicht einsam, sondern mit anderen verbunden und gut gefühlt habe. Und wenn da gar nichts kommt? Da würde ich zunächst einmal sagen: dann hast du, lieber Mensch, noch nicht hinreichend gesucht. Natürlich kann das sein, dass da gar nicht war – aber das ist die unwahrscheinlichste Variante von allen. Zuweilen kann es dann hilfreich sein, dass mir ein anderer Mensch behilflich ist dadurch, dass er mir Fragen stellt. Zuweilen kann man dadurch einen anderen tiefer in die guten Erinnerungen hineinführen.

   Weiterhin ist es wichtig bei so einer Besinnung nicht nur mal schnell auf das damals Erlebte draufzugucken. Nein, man muss da tief hineingucken, dabei verweilen, es sich nahe kommen lassen, die Bilder, die aufsteigen, gleichsam sehen, hören, fühlen, schmecken. Zuweilen kann es dabei ratsam sein, Beziehungen und Geschehnisse, die so richtig schön waren, aber sehr schmerzhaft geendet sind und ich diesen Schmerz noch nicht hinreichend überwunden habe, auszulassen, sich nicht in sie hinein zu vertiefen. All das andere aber gerne kommen lassen und darin noch einmal so richtig baden.

     Sodann könnte man sich folgender Frage zuwenden: gibt es da möglicher Weise Beziehungen, Unternehmungen, Erlebnisweisen, die ich wieder aufleben lassen könnte? Sollte ich zu diesem oder jenem Menschen vielleicht doch mal wieder Kontakt aufnehmen? Könnte ich das eine oder andere Tun, was mir damals gut getan hat nicht neu beleben, wenn vielleicht auch in veränderter Form? Das Lesen, das Reisen, das Rausgehen anstatt nur in der Wohnung zu hocken etc. Und: könnte ich vielleicht die eine oder andere Seinsweise von mir selbst, die mir damals geholfen hat, nicht einsam zu sein, wieder mehr leben lassen: z.B. das Zugehen auf andere Menschen, das Offensein für das Leben, die optimistische und nicht resignative Seite in mir etc.

      Vielleicht fragt sich der eine oder andere nun, ob das Eintauchen in die guten Erinnerungen von damals angesichts des eher einsamen Lebensgefühls von heute nicht eher schädlich als hilfreich sein könnte, da man auf diese Weise sein Alleinsein noch einmal intensiver erlebt, weil der Kontrast zu damals umso deutlicher wird? Das ist nicht ganz auszuschließen, wahrscheinlicher ist aber eine ganz andere Reaktion. All das, was gewesen ist, hat ja emotionale Abdrücke in mir hinterlassen. Und diese Abdrücke sind Energien. Und diese Energien strahlen in guter Weise in mein Lebensgefühl hinein. Sie stärken mich, sie lassen mich eben nicht nur denken, sondern auch fühlen, dass ich mehr als mein Problem, mehr als meine Einsamkeit bin. Sie stärken auf diese Weise auch mein Selbstgefühl, mein Selbstwertgefühl – und das wiederum macht mich mutiger, neu ins Leben hineinzugehen.

   Und es bewirkt noch etwas. Menschen gewöhnen sich leicht an das, was hier und heute nun einmal so ist wie es ist. Und so kann man sich auch an das Einsamsein gewöhnen. Wenn ich nun in lebendiger Form Zeiten erinnere, in denen ich nicht einsam war, dann kriege ich wieder einen emotionalen Bezug dazu, wie Leben sich anfühlt, wenn es nicht einsam ist. Und das wiederum kann meine Motivation mich noch einmal neu nach einem anderen Leben auszustrecken als dem, was ich jetzt so führe, stärken. Mit anderen Wörtern: es kann mich neu in Schwung bringen. Es kann mich auf den inneren Tisch hauen lassen und mich sagen lassen: „Was lebst du dir da eigentlich im Moment so zurecht? Ist das wirklich und schicksalshaft notwendig, dass Du dich so einsam fühlst, wie Du es tust? Oder ist da noch Luft nach oben? Ja, es könnte sein, dass ich mich dazu bewegen und etwas verändern müsste – ja. Aber das ist ja nun auch kein Hexenwerk, das würde ja gehen, wenn ich es wollte.

Abschied nehmen von dem, was war/ sich die Welt zur Heimat machen

Ein anderer Aspekt, der in gewisser Weise mit dem eben Gesagten zusammenhängt. Manchmal resultiert zumindest ein Teil des Einsamkeitsgefühls daraus, dass ein Mensch schöne und gute Zeiten, die er erlebt hat und die, vielleicht sogar gegen seinen Willen, zu Ende gegangen sind, einfach nicht loslassen kann. Er trauert ihnen nach: einem anderen Menschen, der nicht mehr da ist, den er vielleicht sogar durch einen Schicksalsschlag verloren hat, Dingen, die er nicht mehr hat, einer Zeit, die vorbei ist. Mehr oder minder ständig kreist er um das Verlorene, sehnt sich danach zurück und erlebt seine Gegenwart umso einsamer und verlorener. Nicht so ganz selten ist die sich chronifiziert habenden Trauer der – wenn auch ungünstige Versuch - den oder das Verlorene festzuhalten. Und so verliert ein Mensch beides: das Vergangene, weil es eben sowieso nicht mehr da ist – und auch seine Gegenwart, weil er ständig in der Vergangenheit lebt.

    Da hilft nur das, was man die radikale Akzeptanz nennen könnte. Gemeint ist damit radikal zu sagen: „Das ist endgültig vorbei. Das ist gewesen und kommt auch nicht wieder. Es ist vorbei.“ Das ist nicht leicht und tut zunächst sehr weh. Aber es befreit auch und öffnet den Blick und das Lebensgefühl für die Gegenwart und die Zukunft. Ja, da können sich erhebliche Widerstände einstellen, wenn man das so radikal versucht. Immer wieder – obwohl man es gar nicht mehr will – ist man doch schon wieder in den Grübeleien über das Verlorene und dem altbekannten Schmerz. Dann muss man sich immer wieder sanft aber konsequent hinlenken zu dem, was hier und heute ist. Und man muss sich klar machen: eine andere Welt, ein anderes Leben habe ich nicht.

   Und diese eine Welt, die ich heute habe, die muss ich mir zur Heimat machen. Was heißt das konkret? Ich muss mit ihr sprechen, mich für sie interessieren, in sie hineingehen. Gerade kürzlich hat mir eine Klientin von mir, die durchaus unter Anflügen vom Einsamkeit leiden kann, erzählt, dass es ihr richtig tut, wenn sie – einfach so – wenn sie unterwegs ist, mit anderen Menschen anfängt zu erzählen, nichts Weltbewegendes, nein einfach so, über dies oder das. Es macht schon einen Unterschied ob ich beim Einkaufen oder an der Bushaltestelle oder beim Arzt nur stumm vor mich hinschaue und kein Wort sage oder ob ich in dieser Weise Kontakt zu anderen aufnehme.

   Sich die eine Welt, in der ich hier und heute lebe, zur Heimat zu machen, kann weiterhin heißen, mich für kulturelle, sportliche, unterhaltende Angebote zu interessieren und an ihnen teilzunehmen. Es bedeutet, den inneren Schweinehund zu überwinden und wirklich hinzugehen. Und sollte es mir nicht gefallen haben, dann eben nicht den typischen Fehler zu begehen und zu sagen: „Siehst du, hab ich doch gleich gewusst: das ist doch alles nichts für mich!“, sondern weiter zu suchen nach dem, was es alles so gibt.

    Sich die Welt, in der ich lebe, zur Heimat zu machen, kann auch folgendes bedeuten: Vor ganz kurzem war ich im Schwimmbad. Draußen vor der Tür traf ich einen Mann, ich schätze in den 50igern, der von sich aus auf mich zukam und anfing, davon zu erzählen, dass er viel Fahrrad fährt. Sein Fahrrad stand neben ihm, voll bepackt mit allerlei Dingen. Und er sagte sinngemäß: Ich lebe allein – aber: was soll ich zu Hause rumsitzen und in die Glotze gucken. Ich habe ein Auto, aber ich fahre viel Fahrrad. Lange Strecken, ich schaue mir so die Umgebung an. Und er machte einen durchaus vergnügten Eindruck. 

Ungelebtes Leben nachholen: außen und innen

Gegen die Einsamkeit kann auch Folgendes helfen. Jeder von uns, der eine mehr, der andere weniger, wird das mit sich herumtragen, was man das ungelebte Leben nennen kann. Damit ist Leben gemeint, das ich immer schon leben wollte, es aber nie konnte bzw. nie gewagt habe. Es lohnt sich, sich dafür immer wieder einmal Zeit zu nehmen und sich zu fragen: Was an Leben ist liegengeblieben? Was wollte ich immer schon einmal machen, von welchem Lebensstil habe ich immer wieder einmal geträumt, ihn aber nie ins Leben gebracht? Das kann Zeit brauchen, dass einen das einfällt. Oftmals reicht es nicht, sich einmal kurz hinzusetzen und kurz nachzudenken. Nein, darauf muss man sich in aller Muße besinnen. Und dabei ist es wichtig, das, was einem einfällt, nicht gleich abzutun mit der Bemerkung: dafür ist es doch viel zu spät oder: das ist doch völlig unrealistisch. Gut wäre es, alles, was kommen will, kommen zu lassen. Da einem nie alles auf einmal einfällt, lohnt es sich auch, sich einen Ideenzettel hinzulegen oder ein kleines Ideenbuch. Und immer, wenn einem etwas einfällt, es zu notieren. Und dann kann man sich das alles einmal in Ruhe anschauen und entscheiden: was davon ist umsetzbar und was nicht. Allerdings: man sollte Dinge nicht zu schnell als nicht realisierbar abtun. Wo ein Wille ist, ist nicht immer ein Weg, aber doch viel öfter als man denkt!

     Was könnte denn ungelebtes Leben so sein. Das ist natürlich bei jedem unterschiedlich, aber um ein paar kleine Anregungen zu geben: Wohin wollte ich schon immer einmal verreisen? Welche Beschäftigung wollte ich immer schon einmal tun: Singen, ein Instrument lernen, mich einer Wandergruppe anschließen, eine Sprache neu lernen etc.

     Ebenso könnte man aber auch fragen: Welche Veränderungen wollte ich seit längerer Zeit immer schon vornehmen: Wohnung oder Wohnort wechseln, mich von dieser oder jener Beziehung  verabschieden, mich trauen, diese oder jene neue Beziehung zu wagen, oder, zugegebener maßen sehr kühn: in welchem Land wollte ich eigentlich immer schon am liebsten leben? Eine Kl. Von mir trug sich sehr ernsthaft mit diesem Gedanken, ob sie nicht dauerhaft nach Frankreich übersiedeln sollte. Diese Ideen ließen sich mühelos noch weit fortsetzen. Entscheidend hier ist: Träume nicht dein Leben, sondern wage es, deine Träume zu leben.

     Ein ganz anderer Aspekt ist der Folgende: Ungelebtes Leben gibt es nicht nur in der Beziehung von mir zur Außenwelt, in der ich etwas machen kann. Es gibt genauso viel ungelebtes Leben in der Beziehung von mir zu mir selbst. Je jünger ein Mensch ist, desto mehr ist er darauf aus, sich seinen Platz im Leben zu schaffen: Freunde, Partnerschaft, Beruf, die Welt erkunden etc. Je älter ein Mensch wird, desto mehr hat er all das getan. Der eine mit mehr, der andere mit weniger Erfolg. Ob es dann noch eine Reise mehr sein muss, noch ein neues Projekt oder noch ein neues Ding, das man sich anschaffen will, das ist so eine Frage. Man kann sich auch nach innen wenden und danach fragen, was für Leben ist da wohl immer wieder liegengeblieben, nicht gelebt und ausgeformt worden?

    Konkret: An welchen Seiten von mir, die mir und anderen immer wieder Mühe gemacht haben, könnte ich endlich in Ruhe arbeiten: an meiner Wut, die oftmals viel zu sehr durchgeschlagen ist, an meinem unruhigen Getriebensein, an meinem überwertigen Helferwunsch oder dem überwertigen Pflichtgefühl, dem immer der Beste sein müssen, an meinem Vermeiden von Nähe, an meinem viel zu hohen Lebenstempo, an meiner zu rambohaften Art, an meinem zu großen Harmoniebedürfnis und meiner Konfliktscheu?

    Könnte es sein, dass ich die Geduld und Gelassenheit, das bei mir selbst sein ohne immer helfen zu müssen, ein tiefes inneres Heimatgefühl, ein Wagen von Nähe und Liebe, ein ausgeglichenes Dasein nicht nur für die Pflicht, sondern ebenso für die Freude, das Wagnis, meinen ganz eigenen Weg zu gehen, statt mich immer anzupassen, das Innehalten, die Güte, das Wohlwollen, die Übernahme von handelnder Verantwortung statt ständiger Passivität und Lahmheit – dass das alles bzw. das eine oder andere davon ganz wesentliche Lebensweisen wären, die es neu zu entdecken bzw. neu aus mir herauszuformen gälte? Das alles bzw. Teile davon könnten ungelebtes Leben sein, das nur darauf wartet, endlich von mir ausgefaltet und ins Leben gebracht zu werden.

Mit sich selbst verbunden sein

Ich will das eben Gesagte unter einem etwas anderen Blickwinkel noch weiterführen. Ein sich einsam fühlender Mensch fühlt sich in der Regel zu wenig verbunden mit anderen Menschen, mit der Welt, mit dem Leben. Und das stimmt ja auch: wir sind immer auch soziale Wesen, die die Verbundenheit mit anderen Menschen brauchen. Ohne Frage. Was wir aber mindestens ebenso brauchen ist die Verbundenheit mit uns selbst. Und daran könnte es dem sich einsam fühlenden Menschen mangeln. Es kann sein, dass er zu sehr von seiner eigenen Tiefe, von seiner eigenen Innenwelt abgeschirmt, präziser gesagt abgeschnitten ist.

   Was ist mit der eigenen Tiefe gemeint? Gemeint ist damit die Welt des Unbewussten. Mit dem Unbewussten verbinden die meisten Menschen die Welt der verdrängten Probleme, Konflikte, der unguten Erfahrungen etc. Und das stimmt auch: all das ist in unserem Unbewussten aufgespart. Aber: das Unbewusste umfasst wesentlich mehr als nur das. Es ist ebenso der Ort, an dem die starken, lebenstragenden Gefühlskräfte, die guten Ideen, das tiefe gute Wissen um das Leben aufgespart sind. M.a.W.: das Unbewusste ist eine Quelle, aus der wir gute, starke Lebenskräfte beziehen können wie: Freiheit und Leichtigkeit trotz allem, Lebensmut, Hoffnung, Zuversicht, Daseinsgeborgenheit, Freude, das Gefühl, gewollt und geliebt zu sein, Kreativität, Gewissheit ob dessen, was wir tun bzw. lassen sollen und vieles vieles andere mehr. Der Verlust des Zugangs zu dieser Dimension der Tiefe in uns trägt ganz sicher zu dem Einsamkeitsgefühl, unter dem viele Zeitgenossen leiden, seinen Teil bei.

   Wie aber findet man wieder Zugang zu dieser Dimension? Ganz wesentlich dafür ist der Weg in die Stille. Man zieht sich in einen Raum zurück, in dem es eben still ist. Man hört keine gute Musik mehr, wird auch nicht durch Geräusche gestört und man versucht einfach nur still zu werden. Klar, dann kann es sein, dass es statt still zu werden, erst einmal richtig laut wird in mir. Es drängen sich Gedanken, Sorgen, ungute Gefühle und anderes mehr auf. Man kann dann zu diesen Gedanken und Sorgen sagen: seid so freundlich und wartet eine kurze Zeit bitte draußen vor der Tür. Habt keine Angst, ich hole euch nachher wieder ab, im Augenblick aber habe ich Anderes zu tun. Seid bitte nicht beleidigt, ich komme ja wieder. Und dann kann man weiter warten, dass es immer ein Stück leiser und stiller wird in einem.

   Was dann? Dann könnte man einfach nur wahrnehmen, wie man sich befindet, sich fühlt, wie einem zu Mute ist. Und da kann man Erstaunliches erfahren. Es könne Gefühle aufsteigen, die man vorhin noch gar nicht gespürt hat und die gar nicht zu all der Unruhe, dem Sorgenvollen, dem Gehetzten, das eben noch da war, passen. Das könne Gefühle einer tiefen inneren Ruhe, inneren Friedens, eines fraglosen Behütetseins, eines mit sich selbst und dem Leben Verbundenseins, tiefer Lebensdankbarkeit, Freude und Heiterkeit und v.a.m. sein. Bei diesen Wahrnehmungen gälte es einfach nur zu verweilen. Man sollte da gar nichts analysieren, sondern es einfach tief auf sich wirken lassen.

    Ebenso kann man sich in der Stille auf ein sog. Focuswort einstellen. Man richtet sich aus auf ein Gefühl, auf eine Energie, die man sich mehr wünscht als bisher, z.B auf das Wort „Freiheit“. Man denkt jetzt nicht weiter über Freiheit nach, sondern läßt es nur auf sich wirken. Man kann sich vorstellen, dass man mit jedem Atemzug Freiheit tief einatmet, sie durch alle Poren von Körper und Gemüt strömen läßt und mit jedem  Atemzug ungute, unfreie Gefühle einfach ausatmet. Man kann, während man sich auf das Wort Freiheit ausrichtet, freischwebend alles kommen lassen, was einen dazu kommt an Fantasien, inneren Bildern etc. Man könnte dann bei einem dieser Bilder verweilen, es länger auf sich wirken lassen. Oder man kann sich das Wort Freiheit auch mit dem inneren Finger vor das innere Auge schreiben und es so auf sich wirken lassen – und ganz beiläufig in dieses Wort hineinschauen. Manchmal geschehen da wundersame Dinge: da kann aus diesem Wort plötzlich ein wunderschönes Licht herauskommen, das viel Wärme ausstrahlt u.a.m. kann herauskommen.

    Und was soll das nun gegen die Einsamkeit helfen? Es hilft mir, mich wieder mehr mit mir zu verbinden, ich bin wieder mehr als vorher bei mir selbst – und zwar nicht im Kreisen um all das, was mich bedrückt, sondern bei dem, was mich stärkt. Und das macht natürlich ein viel zufriedeneres Lebensgefühl und es stärkt mich, neu in die Welt hinein zu gehen.

Wagen auf andere Menschen zuzugehen

Einsamkeit kann ihren Grund zuweilen auch darin haben, dass ich schlicht und ergreifend zuviel Angst vor anderen Menschen habe. Da können sich allein bei der Vorstellung, dass ich auf andere zugehe, sie einfach so anspreche, Gedanken einstellen wie z.B.: „Was fällt mir denn ein, den anderen einfach so anzusprechen, der will doch ganz bestimmt von mir nichts wissen, der fühlt sich doch allenfalls belästigt und bedrängt von mir.“ Oder: „Wer bist Du denn schon, dass Du diesen anderen ansprichst. Schau ihn Dir doch an. Der steht doch im sozialen Ranking weit über Dir. Bist Du nicht mehr ganz bei Trost, Dich so einem Großen zuzumuten. Halt mal lieber den Mund.“ So und vielfältig anders kann sich die Angst vor anderen Menschen äußern – und man zieht sich zurück und bleibt einsam.

   Das darf man natürlich tun, aber unter dem Aspekt des Nicht-mehr-einsamsein-Wollens ist es ein ungünstiges Verhalten. Ein Kraut, das dagegen gewachsen ist, ist: angstmachende Situationen nicht vermeiden, sondern sie aufsuchen. Nicht die Angst aufsuchen, sehr wohl aber die Situationen, die mir Angst machen, wie z.B. das Zugehen auf die sog. Anderen.

    Ich habe damit so meine ganz eigenen Erfahrungen gemacht. Ich selbst war früher ein außerordentlich schüchterner Mensch, habe mich viel zu wenig getraut, auf Menschen, mit denen ich gerne in Kontakt sein wollte, zuzugehen. Ich habe mir dann aber gesagt: Nein, das läßt Du dir von dir selbst nicht gefallen. Ich will nicht, dass mein Leben in gewisser Weise zu Ende ist, bevor es so richtig begonnen hat. Ich wollte es nicht hinnehmen, dass ich immer nur am Rand stehe, mich nicht traue und dann frustriert und mich einsam fühlend wieder zu Hause sitze. Und so habe ich es gewagt, auf andere zuzugehen, sie einfach so anzusprechen, sie zu fragen, ob wir uns nicht einmal treffen wollen. Das war nicht einfach. Und ich habe dabei auch wirklich sehr peinliche Situationen erlebt, von denen ich mir gewünscht habe, dass sie nie passiert wären. Und ich habe auch so mittelmäßige Erfahrungen gemacht, nicht sonderlich gute aber eben auch nicht schlechte. Und ich habe so manchen Volltreffer gelandet. Das gehört eben alles dazu: man greift so richtig daneben und man punktet so richtig. Eben voll das Leben. Das allerwichtigste aber war: ich bin kein einsamer Mensch geworden, sondern ein Mensch, der mitten im Leben steht, sich verbunden fühlt.

   Eine schöne, wenn auch nicht ganz leichte Hilfe auf diesem Weg war mir: mich ganz bewusst peinlichen Situationen auszusetzen. So habe ich z.B. zur Überwindung meiner Schüchternheit in der vollbesetzten Hamburger U-Bahn morgens zur Zeit des Berufsverkehrs laut ausgerufen: Die Fahrtausweise bitte. Und alle dachten, ich wäre der Kontrolleur und begannen in ihren Jackentaschen nach dem Fahrschein zu suchen. Alle Blicke ruhten auf mir, ich habe einen knallroten Kopf bekommen und musste den Wagon dann erst einmal wieder beruhigen, dass das nur ein Scherz war. Sehr peinlich – aber solche kleinen Übungen haben mir sehr geholfen, meine Angst zu überwinden.

Sein eigener Freund sein

Einsamkeit kann weiterhin dadurch begünstigt werden, dass ich mich selber viel zu wenig mag, mich selber viel zu wenig lieb habe. Es lohnt sich deshalb, sich immer wieder einmal zu fragen: „Wie sehr stehe ich eigentlich auf meiner Seite?“ Wie denke und fühle ich eigentlich so ganz im Grunde über mich selbst?“ Bin ich mehr oder weniger mein innerer Freund – oder bin ich, vielleicht mehr als es mir bewußt ist, mein innere Feind? M.a.W.: Kann es sein, dass ich von innen her viel zu sehr gegen mich selber bin? Mich viel zu sehr klein mache, runterrede, gering schätze, entwerte etc. – und die anderen als Folgereaktion viel zu groß und bedeutsam mache?

    Falls das so sein sollte, wäre es wichtig, sich Folgendes deutlich zu machen: in jedem von uns sind gleichsam zwei Grundkräfte aktiv – und zwar letztlich völlig unabhängig von unserer Erziehung etc. Die eine dieser Grundkräfte will, dass es uns so richtig gut geht, man könnte sie – etwas blumig – den inneren Freund nennen. Diese Seite macht uns Mut zu uns selber, sie bestärkt uns darin, in die Welt hinein zu gehen, sie läßt uns fühlen: „Es ist gut, dass wir da sind.“ Die andere Kraft will genau das Gegenteil: so verrückt sich das anhört, sie will uns klein machen, flüstert uns ein, dass wir ein Nichts sind, dass wir uns für uns selbst zutiefst schämen sollten, nicht nur für dies oder das an uns, sondern schlicht und ergreifend für unser Dasein selbst. Diese Seite könnte man den inneren Feind nennen. Unser Leben ist letztlich ausgespannt zwischen diesen beiden Polen. Und wir stehen zwischen ihnen. Natürlich ist es da schon sehr entscheidend für unser Lebensgefühl, welcher Seite wir näher stehen, dem inneren Freund oder dem inneren Feind.

    Was könnte denn helfen, immer mehr zu der Seite zu gelangen, die es richtig gut mit mir meint? Zunächst wäre gleichsam eine Standortbestimmung gut, m.a.W.: wahrzunehmen, welcher dieser beiden Seiten ich im alltäglichen Lebensvollzug näher bin. Es bewusst wahrzunehmen, dass ich mich z.B. immer wieder klein mache, schlecht über mich denke etc. Das ist etwas ganz anderes als wenn das einfach dumpf geschieht ohne dass ich es bewußt wahrnehme. Denn nur was mir wirklich bewusst ist, kann ich auch gestalten. Bemerke ich also, dass ich zu sehr gegen mich selber bin, dann lohnt es sich, weiter inne zu halten und sich zu sagen: Daß ich so fühle, so negativ über mich denke, das kommt nicht einfach so. dahinter steht Methode. Da steht eine Kraft dahinter, die nicht will, dass es mir gut geht. Diese Kraft bin nicht ich – aber ich finde sie in mir vor. Sie greift nach mir, will sich in mir ausbreiten und mich am Leben hindern.

   Ob ich das aber zulasse, das ist eine zweite Frage. Da habe ich ein Wörtchen mitzureden. Ich kann dieser destruktiven Seite blind folgen. Das würde allerdings die Chancen, dass ich mich einsam fühle, deutlich erhöhen. Ich kann mich ihr gegenüber aber auch empören, mir von ihr nicht alles gefallen lassen, sondern mich der anderen Seite, dem inneren Freund zuwenden und darauf hören, was der wohl zu mir sagt. Der nämlich will mich nicht klein machen, sondern hat seine Freude an mir, will dass es mir gut geht, vermittelt mir tief liebevolle Gefühle von mir zu mir selbst.

    Um Einsamkeitsgefühlen entgegenzuwirken lohnt es sich also, sich selber immer wieder aus den Augen des inneren Freundes anzuschauen und mir Fantasien kommen zu lassen, was dieser Freund wohl zu mir in den wechselnden Situationen meines Lebensalltags sagen würde. Man könnte sich das ganz konkret vorstellen, so als ob er neben mir stehen würde und sich fragen: Was würde der jetzt zu mir sagen? Der könnte z.B. sagen: „Hör doch auf, dich immer mit den anderen zu vergleichen. Du bist Du. Und das ist gut so. Ja, Du hast, wie jeder andere Mensch auch Fehler, ja. Aber das heißt doch nicht, dass Du ein Fehler bist! Dass Du da bist ist ein Wunder des Lebens. Du bist ein Geschenk des Lebens an Dich und die anderen. Wickel das Geschenk, das Du bist, doch aus und lass es im Leben leuchten. Ganz auf deine Weise. Dazu bist Du auf dieser Welt, dass Du dich zum Vorschein bringst, ganz auf deine Weise. Du solls doch kein Abziehbild von den anderen sein, du sollst auch nicht so sein, wie die dich haben wollen. Nein, bitte bitte sei Du Du. Dass Du da bist, ist wunderbar.“ Es versteht sich von selbst, dass ein Mensch, der so zu sich selber hinfühlt, weniger einsam ist als der, der ständig beschallt wird bzw. sich beschallen läßt von der Negativität des inneren Feindes.

Lebensgeschichtliche Wurzeln der Einsamkeit

Dass der eine mehr, der andere weniger sein innerer Freund ist, hängt neben dem eben Gesagten natürlich auch mit dem Verlauf der Lebensgeschichte zusammen. Die Ereignisse, die im Verlaufe des Lebens geschehen sind, sind natürlich bereits in dem Moment, in dem sie geschehen schon wieder Geschichte. Jetzt – ist jetzt schon wieder Vergangenheit. Was bleibt, sind die innerseelischen Abrücke, die die Geschehnisse in uns machen. Die prägen sich ein und tragen ganz erheblich dazu bei, wie wir uns fühlen.

Wenn nun ein Mensch in seiner Lebensgeschichte wie nun auch immer geartete Erfahrungen gemacht hat, die Einsamkeitserleben begünstigt haben, dann werden diese Erfahrungen mit ihren Abrücken ins Heute hineinragen und unser Lebensgefühl mächtig beeinflussen.

    Und so kann es sein, dass es im Heute eines Menschen eigentlich keinen nennenswerten Anlass zur Einsamkeit gibt: da sind Freunde, da ist vielleicht sogar eine Partnerschaft, da ist ein Beruf, der vertretbar ist etc. Und trotzdem fühlt er sich irgendwie einsam, vielleicht sogar sehr einsam. Dann kann es durchaus sein, dass das sog. Verletzte innere Kind in ihm sich zu Worte meldet und ihm das Leben schwer macht. Möchte ein Mensch dann, dass sich das Einsamkeitsgefühl reduziert, am besten ganz verschwindet, dann kann es erforderlich sein, dass er sich eine zeitlang dem verletzten inneren Kind zuwenden und alte lebensgeschichtliche Verletzungen bearbeiten musss. Wenn die Nachwirkungen alter Verletzungen zu stark sind, dann hilft alle Zuwendung zum sog. Positiven in meiner Lebensgegenwart allein nicht weiter. Sie muss ergänzt werden durch die Aufarbeitung des Gewesenen. Nicht selten braucht man dazu dann einen Fachmann, einen Therapeuten.

   Aber kann man da denn auch etwas alleine bewirken? Man kann es zumindest versuchen. Voraussetzung dafür ist allerdings eine hinreichende psychische Stabilität, damit man durch das nochmalige Eintauchen in die Kinder- und Jugendtage nicht destabilisiert wird. So könnte man sich in aller Ruhe noch einmal die Zeiten von damals vergegenwärtigen und fragen: „Wie waren denn die Lebensgrundgefühle von mir damals? Welche Namen haben sie gehabt? Was waren Ursachen für diese Gefühle?“ In der Regel liegen die Ursachen für diese Gefühle wesentlich in den Beziehungen zu den damaligen primären Bezugspersonen begründet, also häufig in den Beziehungen zu Vater und Mutter. Sich dieser Gefühle bewusst zu werden wäre ein erster Schritt. Dabei ist es immer gut, deren Namen so präzise wie möglich zu benennen. Es reicht nicht aus, zu sagen: „Ich war frustriert.“ „Ich hatte viel Druck.“ o.ä. Nein, die Namen der Gefühle müssen schon so klar wie möglich deutlich werden und die Gefühle müssen auch noch einmal gefühlt werden können. Das können Gefühle tiefer innerer Scham über mich selbst, innerer Wut sowohl gegen mich als auch die Eltern, Angst vor den Eltern, Traurigkeit, Schmerz u.a.m. sein.

    Sodann wäre es gut, das auf diese Weise verletzte innere Kind ganz behutsam in die inneren Arme zu nehmen, es zu trösten, bei ihm zu sein. Und es wäre wichtig, mögliche Empörung gegenüber denen, die mich so verletzt haben, noch einmal sehr klar auszudrücken. Schließlich könnte man sich dann sehr bewusst fragen: „Wer ist hier eigentlich einsam: bin das wirklich ich hier und heute – oder ist es das verletzte innere Kind in mir?“ Das wären einige ganz ganz kurze Anregungen zu dem, was man selber tun könnte. Allerdings gäbe es dazu noch sehr sehr viel mehr zu sagen. Es würde nur hier völlig den Rahmen sprengen. 

Immer weniger dagegen sein – immer mehr „Ja“ sagen zum Leben

Die Einsamkeit in meinem Lebensgefühl kann weiterhin verstärkt, zuweilen auch grundgelegt werden durch persönliche Eigenheiten, die ich so habe. Dabei denke ich nicht an die so richtig guten, sondern eher problematischen Eigenheiten, die man so haben kann. Da gibt es natürlich so manche.

    Eine sehr weit verbreitete, die Einsamkeit befördernde ungute Eigenart von Menschen ist das Meckern, das irgendwie Dagegensein, das Sich Einmaulen gegen das Leben: gegen das Wetter, gegen die Bundesbahn, gegen den Verkehr, gegen die bösen Anderen etc.

   Na klar: meckern gehört zum Leben genau wie Tratschen. Es geht nicht darum, nicht mehr zu meckern und gar nicht so selten meckert man ja auch aus gutem Grund. Es geht vielmehr darum, sich nicht Ein-zumeckern, das Dagegensein nicht chronisch werden zu lassen. Es geht letztlich um eine aus der Tiefe kommende Grundhaltung dem Leben gegenüber. Es ist wichtig, sich selbst einmal die Frage vorzulegen: Was eigentlich sage ich so ganz im Grunde: Ja/ Jein oder Nein zum Leben. Diese Tiefengrundhaltung, aus der heraus ich dem Leben begegne, entscheidet über den Grundton meine Wesensausstrahlung. Und die macht mich wiederum attraktiver oder eben unattraktiver für andere Menschen. Wer will schon gern in der Nähe eines Menschen sein, der eine eher feindseelige Grundausstrahlung verbreitet. Und auf der anderen Seite: wer ist nicht gern in der Nähe eines Menschen, der eher lebensbejahend, lebensoffen und im Modus der Liebe lebt, trotz aller Widrigkeiten, die es jeden Tag im Leben eines jeden Menschen gibt? So eine lebensoffene, liebende Grundhaltung zum Leben wird z.B. dadurch gestärkt, dass man sich deutlich macht: nicht ich bin der Mittelpunkt des Lebens und das Leben hat mich zu bedienen mit all dem, was ich so gerne möchte. Vielmehr ist es so, dass in der Mitte das Leben selbst steht und ich mit der Art meiner Lebensführung immer wieder neu lebensdienliche Antworten auf die Fragen geben soll, die das Leben mir hier und heute stellt.

    Eine weitere, die Einsamkeit verstärkende Grundhaltung ist die Rederitis. Es gibt Menschen, die das Wort in einem Gespräch regelrecht besetzen, die einen mehr oder weniger ohne Punkt und Komma unter den Tisch reden. Da kann man Geräusche machen, wie betonteres Luftholen, etwas mit den Stuhl rücken, sich räuspern etc., um anzudeuten, dass man auch etwas sagen möchte. Das hilft alles nichts, man kommt nicht zu Worte.

    Es gibt auch das Gegenteil: den Menschen, der sich am allerliebsten einfach nur unterhalten lassen würde, der von seiner Seite aus nichts beiträgt zu einem Gespräch, einer Unternehmung etc. Auch das ist nicht gerade anziehend für die anderen.

   Und ebenso ist die chronische Rechthaberei – oder auch deren Gegenteil: das ständige dem anderen nach dem Munde reden nicht sonderlich attraktiv. Es befördert eher, dass ich andere wegwenden von mir statt sich mir zuzuwenden.

     Diese ungünstigen Eigenheiten ließen sich noch mühelos ergänzen. Zusammengefasst ließe sich diese Frage formulieren, die man sich selbst und natürlich auch anderen stellen kann: „Welche typischen, kritischen Rückmeldungen bekomme ich eigentlich immer wieder bezüglich meines Verhaltens und Seins. Welche eher ungünstigen Wesenszüge kenne ich, wen ich ehrlich bin, von mir selbst. Daran lohnte es sich zu arbeiten, das vermindert die Gefahr in der Einsamkeit zu versinken.

Sinneinseitigkeiten vermeiden

Manchmal sind Menschen auch einsamer als sie es sein müssten, weil sie über längere Zeit zu einseitig leben. Wir alle brauchen nicht nur eine, sondern mehrere Sinnsäulen, auf denen unser Leben aufruht. Eine zu große Sinneinseitigkeit kann einsam machen. Wer z.B. immer nur arbeitet, wer immer nur relaxed, wer sich nur auf die Kinder ausrichtet, wer nur und ständig gute Bücher liest etc., der muss nicht aber der kann erleben, dass sein Lebensgefühl immer ein Stück farbloser und leerer wird und er sich irgendwie einsam zu fühlen beginnt. Je mehr und auch verschiedenfarbigen Sinn ich in meinem ganz alltäglichen Leben erlebe, desto weniger einsam werde ich mich fühlen.

    Zum Sinnerleben gehört zweifelsfrei auch das Leben in Beziehungen. Und Beziehungen wollen nicht nur passiv erlebt werden, sondern auch aktiv gepflegt werden. Auch das lohnte es sich einmal anzuschauen: Wie gehe ich mit den Beziehungen um, in denen ich lebe? Lasse ich sie einfach irgendwie laufen oder pflege ich sie aktiv?

    Zuweilen leiden Menschen aber nicht nur unter Sinneinseitigkeiten, sondern unter Sinnverlust. Natürlich ist es dann wichtig, sich auf die Suche nach neuem Sinn zu machen. Aber manchmal ist der einfach nicht zu finden. Dann ist es aber immer noch möglich, mit offenen Armen und d.h. in einer lebenszugewandten Haltung darauf zuzuwarten, dass aus dem Leben heraus – ohne mein Zutun – neues Leben auf mich zukommt, das ich heute noch nicht sehen kann. Entscheidend dabei ist es, nicht in die Resignation abzuwandern, sondern auf das Leben selbst zu hoffen und offen zu sein für das, was kommen wird.

Einsame Menschen brauchen die aktive Hilfe von anderen Menschen

In meinen bisherigen Überlegungen habe ich den Schwerpunt im Wesentlichen auf die Frage gelegt: Was kann ich tun, damit ich mich möglichst wenig einsam fühle. Und das ist m.E. auch die zentrale Fragestellung, denn letztlich kann nur ich mein Lebensgefühl verändern.

    Es gibt aber auch hinreichend viele Menschen, die von sich selbst aus einfach nicht mehr können: aufgrund von körperlicher Krankheit oder körperlichen Gebrechen, aufgrund materieller Not, psychischer Not u.a.m. Da sind dann im Wesentlichen die Mitmenschen gefragt, zu helfen. Da wäre es zynisch, dem Betroffenen zuzumuten: Du musst Dich bewegen. Er kann es eben einfach nicht. Da sind die anderen gefragt.

Ich fasse meinen Vortrag zusammen:

Einsamkeit zu überwinden erfordert die volle Motivation eines Menschen

Jeder Mensch ist immer mehr als sein Problem.

Es lohnt sich die Blickrichtung zu ändern weg vom Defizitären hin zum Guten und Gelungenen

Sich auf die Zeiten besinnen, in denen ich nicht einsam war

Abschied nehmen von dem, was war

Mir die Welt, in der ich jetzt lebe zur Heimat machen

Ungelebtes Leben nachholen

Mit sich selbst verbunden sein

Wagen auf andere Menschen zuzugehen

Sein eigener Freund sein bzw. werden

Lebensgeschichtliche Wurzeln der Einsamkeit bearbeiten

Immer mehr Ja zum Leben sagen

Sinneinseitigkeiten vermeiden

Menschen, die von sich aus nicht mehr können zu Hilfe kommen

Help Against Loneliness

By Dr. Stephan Peeck

Institut für Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse Hamburg-Bergedorf, Germany

English translation by Tom Edmondson for Meaninginministry.com

Translator’s note: Dr. Peeck wrote this presentation in a conversational style. I worked hard to preserve this quality in the translation.

Initial Situation:

Experiencing loneliness is a widespread problem of our time. It permeates all age groups, so it affects not only older or really old people, but also young people and even people who are, as they say, in the prime of their lives. Experiencing loneliness is by no means limited to certain social classes; it permeates all classes: rich, poor, and everything in between. Nevertheless, there are a number of factors that can trigger feelings of loneliness. These can include poverty, but also a rapid rise in social status. Physical or mental illness can cause loneliness, as can losing your job, losing loved ones as you age, the blows of fate, and much more. You can feel lonely even though you know a lot of people, despite being in a relationship, and even though you have children. Further, you can feel lonely whether you live with far too little close or even more distant social contact.

The central question of my lecture will now be: What kind of help out of loneliness is there, or at least what are some ways to alleviate the experience of it?

This topic can be approached from a number of very different angles. My perspective, from which I want to look at this topic in my lecture, is that of a lonely person sitting in front of me. What suggestions can I give him in a direct conversation, what questions can I ask him, what encouragement can I give him so that his feeling of loneliness is at least reduced a little, or ideally disappears? So in my lecture, I do not ask what entertainment options, what opportunities for encounters, etc. could be offered to him so that he no longer feels so lonely. Rather, I ask what could help him to reduce loneliness by dealing with himself – in a sense, it should be about helping people to help themselves. In preparing this, it was important to me to provide you with tools that, in my opinion, each of you – even without being a psychologist – can use if you want to.

Motivation:

To get rid of or even overcome an inner problem that plagues me to any significant degree, I usually need to make a full existential commitment. This applies equally to overcoming fears, depression, addictions and many other internal problems that exist, in addition to suffering from feelings of loneliness. If feelings of loneliness plague me to a significant and persistent degree, then there is no other way than to tackle them with a truly genuine and strong existential commitment in order to minimize them or, ideally, overcome them altogether.

Why is it important to mention this at all? It is important because it touches on the question of motivation. And as everyone knows, the right motivation is half the battle!

     Specifically: many people love to complain and that is perfectly legitimate. People need to complain about what hurts them or causes them trouble. No question about it! But you have to learn to distinguish here, both as the person affected and as the helper: a person can complain themselves out but also complain themselves in. Complaining out is important. Without a person having first complained themselves out, it will be difficult for them to initiate change processes. Tormenting and oppressive things weigh heavily on his mind. And the lament or the self-lament is a facet of a person's freedom in relation to the situation. In short, you have to be able to talk about your misery or lament. And for that you need someone who really listens to you – not just in a methodically correct way, but from the heart. People need witnesses to their lives, to the good and the beautiful as well as to the difficult and painful.

     But there is a difference between suing[1] and accepting one's fate. Suing doesn't help at all. On the contrary, it weakens a person. There is a danger that the lawsuit becomes the meaning of life. Complaining becomes the purpose in life, a kind of negative sense that is not very beneficial.

These are two very specific ways of helping to overcome loneliness. Lamentation must occur. A heartfelt listening from another is very beneficial in this process. However, it can be equally important to make sure that you do not get lost in the lament. It is then of course important to also turn to the question of what you could do to combat your loneliness, perhaps with the help of others.

 This brings us to another point: quite a few people like to wait for “it” to change, for “it” to get better, for help to come from outside, as it were, in some way or other, that will resolve the problem, e.g. my loneliness, or at least reduce it: for a visitor to come finally, for the children to finally get in touch, for the friends I have left to call me at last, etc. And you can do that too. Sometimes it can even be the right approach if I have really exhausted my options, that I – instead of resigning myself – actively wait for life itself to bring me new opportunities that I cannot see today. However, actively waiting for something is completely different from a passive, resigned, sometimes inert or lazy attitude that primarily expects happiness from others.   

 And the latter is what this point is about. It is about entering into a conversation with yourself: “Who on earth is going to change my loneliness if not I myself?” It goes without saying that people sometimes need help with this. But the insight that I have to take action – whatever that actually means in practice – is very important. Otherwise, nothing will change. And by insight, I certainly don't mean that I can think this sentence and nod my head joyfully in agreement. No, what is meant is an insight that comes from deep within, from the heart. Only that has the power to get me moving. The question “Who, if not I myself?” can be nicely complemented by the question “And if not now, then when?” This question is directed against eternal procrastination. 

 Finally, a last point in this context of the question of motivation: quite a few people want – understandably – to get rid of their need, their problem, e.g. their feelings of loneliness, but otherwise remain the same. They want to get rid of the symptom without turning to the often deeper-lying root of the symptom within themselves. However, this is often necessary for real and lasting improvement. Of course, only the person themselves can decide whether they really want this. However, decisions have consequences – some consequences are good, others bad. The objection at this point, “I'm really much too old for that,” does not apply: officially, a person can change up until their last breath.

So here are two further questions against loneliness: “What can I do to change your situation?” and “Could it be that I would have to change a bit for things to get better?” But let's assume that a person is motivated, that they really want to do what is possible for them. What further help is there?

I am always more than my problem

 People in our part of the world tend to focus very much on the problem, one could almost say to fixate on it with a strange kind of bliss. This is unfavorable and unnecessarily darkens the attitude to life, because every person is always more than their problem under (almost) all circumstances. Imagine a large room. In this room, among other things, there is a table, and, on the tabletop, there is an unsightly stain. Almost magically, a person's gaze is repeatedly drawn to this very unsightly stain. If you imagine this in a very exaggerated way, you could say that you keep getting closer and closer to the spot and finally you see nothing but the spot. And, completely logically, you get the feeling that you are the spot. It goes without saying that this is not good for your sense of well-being.

In terms of the lonely person: yes, they feel lonely, and they need to be able to talk about it and vent. But then it is worthwhile to also ask him the following question: “Who are you actually – besides the person who feels lonely?” “Is there no other feeling in you at all except loneliness?” “Is there no other being in you at all except loneliness?” “Have you really ever thought about, reflected on the fact that you are always more than just your problem?”

 Experience shows that people who suffer significantly from a problem hear this question, but instead of really absorbing it, they quickly revert to expounding on their plight. At that point it is important to gently draw attention to it and to gently but consistently redirect the person to the question. It is then important to be specific: What am I more of than my problem? This sentence is of little use in general terms; it needs to be filled out. What could that be? The following food for thought could be helpful: “What kind of things do I enjoy or would enjoy if I could do them?” Reading, going for a walk, meeting people, sitting in a coffee shop and watching life there, watching certain movies, crocheting, crafting, knitting etc. etc.”

 When something comes up, it is of course good to dwell on it and - as they say - go deeper into what has been said. For example: what are my favorite places to walk, which films do I particularly like to watch, etc.? But a defense of some kind could also arise: no, I can't go for a walk, my knee hurts too much or: there's only garbage on TV or: no, reading has never been my thing or: no, sitting around in a coffee shop, people are often too stupid for me or it's too loud or or or or... that nothing comes of it. What then? Then it gets exciting.

We come to the topic: you are always more than your problem. Yes, what is this person who is somehow not concerned with much or everything, what is he more than his problem? He is always also the person who can distance himself at least to some extent from circling around his problem and transcend himself towards something other than his problem. In other words, what you could call his ability to take an interest in life, or in other words, the ability to be present in life, to take part in life, to turn to the life around him and relate to it, is an inalienable part of him. This ability to focus on life instead of just seeing oneself, to see the great life that surrounds the self and to participate in it, in whatever way, this ability is more than his problem. If this ability has atrophied somewhat, he would then need to revive it. This is possible, but it sometimes requires overcoming inertia, listlessness, passivity, resignation and many other resistances. 

Changing the viewing direction

Feelings of loneliness cloud the mind completely. They also tend to focus on what is not worth living for instead of what is worth living for. It can therefore also be helpful for lonely people to consciously and repeatedly focus on what is worth living for today. In order not to overwhelm them, it is sometimes really important to bear in mind what I said above: a person must be allowed to complain. You must not immediately come to him with the so-called good. That would be cynical. But if you take this into account, then it is sometimes almost necessary to talk to him about the following: “What are you actually looking for when you go through your days like this?” Take some time for this question, let it sink in, don't answer quickly. What is meant by these questions is not a superficial search, such as: I'm looking for what to cook for lunch today. No, what is meant is a deeper attitude with which I go through life.

I asked myself these questions quite intensively for a while a few decades ago. It was at a time when I was watching far too much television, partly because I felt noticeably lonely. Every evening, instead of watching TV, I deliberately and consistently went outside, went for a walk here and there. In doing so, I focused my attention on what was worth living for, the beautiful, the new, the interesting, the surprising. And every time I returned home asking myself the question: Was it worth it or would watching TV have been the better option. The answer each time was: watching TV would have been the worse option. I had always found something worth going outside for.

 What am I subliminally searching for: the good, the true and the beautiful, which I am sure is there in abundance in the life that surrounds me every day - or just one more reason why there is nothing more to life and it is best to just hide away? Or am I perhaps no longer searching at all, am I just living my life and gradually sinking further and further into resignation? Depending on a person's inner orientation, feelings of loneliness will either increase or decrease.

 I have not always been lonely

 You can not only change the direction of your gaze in relation to external life, but you can also change it inwardly. V.E. Frankl once spoke of the full barns of the past and said the past form of being is the safest form of being. Nobody can take away what was. It is definitely worthwhile to let the life I have lived so far pass before my inner eye again and again with the one-sided question of all the good that I have experienced in my life, the good that others have bestowed on me, the good that life itself has given me, and all the good that has come into my life through myself through deeds and actions that I have accomplished or done; through decisions that I have made, through the good that I have experienced and through the good that I have done, through the love I have lived, through the positive attitudes I have gained in the course of my life, and so on.

  The following is important during such a reflection. If, after two or three minutes, your thoughts and feelings slip back into the bad and unsuccessful, it is important to gently but consistently turn your gaze to the other side and focus on the good again.

  But what does this mean specifically in relation to our topic? I could look at my life from the following perspective and let it pass me by: “I have not always been lonely!” You could, for example, take a large sheet of paper and draw your life flow, simply a long line. You could divide this line into many sections: the time before school, the first years of school, the teenage years, etc. And then you could dwell on the individual sections and, as I said, look one-sidedly for the experiences, events and relationships in which you didn't feel lonely, but rather connected to others and good. And if nothing comes up? First of all, I would say: then you, dear person, have not searched hard enough. Of course, it could be that there was nothing at all, but that is the least likely scenario of all. Sometimes it can be helpful for another person to help me by asking me questions. Sometimes this can lead someone else deeper into the good memories.

  Furthermore in such a reflection it is important to not look too quickly at what you experienced back then. No, you have to look deep into it, dwell on it, let it come close to you, see, hear, feel and taste the images that arise. Sometimes it can be advisable to leave out relationships and events that were really beautiful but ended very painfully (and you have not yet sufficiently overcome this pain), not to delve into them. But I would like to let all the others come and really bathe in them again.

 Then you could turn to the following question: are there possible relationships, activities, experiences that I could revive? Should I perhaps get in touch with this or that person again? Couldn't I revive some of the things that did me good back then, even if perhaps in a different form? Reading, traveling, going out instead of just sitting in my apartment, etc.? And could I perhaps revive one or two of the ways of being that helped me to not be lonely back then: e.g. reaching out to other people, being open to life, the optimistic and not resigned side of me, etc.?

Perhaps some of you are wondering now whether immersing yourself in the good memories of the past might be more harmful than helpful in view of the rather lonely feeling of life today, as you experience your loneliness even more intensely in this way, because the contrast with back then becomes all the clearer? This cannot be completely ruled out, but a completely different reaction is more likely. After all, everything that has happened has left emotional imprints on me. And these imprints are energies. And these energies radiate into my attitude to life in a good way. They strengthen me, they not only make me think, but also feel that I am more than my problem, more than my loneliness. In this way, they also strengthen my sense of self, my self-esteem - and that in turn makes me more courageous to enter life anew.

 And it does something else. People easily get used to the way things are here and now, and so you can also get used to being lonely. If I now vividly remember times when I wasn't lonely, then I regain an emotional connection to what life feels like when it's not lonely. And that in turn can strengthen my motivation to reach out once again for a different life than the one I'm living now. In other words, it can give me a new lease on life. It can make me bang my head on the table and say, “Why are you living like this at the moment? Is it really and fatefully necessary that you feel as lonely as you do? Or is there still room for improvement? “Yes, it could be that I need to move and change something - yes. But that's not rocket science, it would work if I wanted it to.

Saying goodbye to what was/ making the world your home

 Here is another aspect somewhat related to what has just been said. Sometimes at least part of the feeling of loneliness results from the fact that a person simply cannot let go of good and beautiful times that they have experienced but have come to an end, perhaps even against their will. They mourn another person who is no longer there, who they may even have lost through a blow of fate, things that they no longer have, a season that is over. More or less he or she constantly circles around what is lost, longs for it, and experiences his present as all the lonelier and more lost. It is not uncommon for the grief that has become chronic to be an - albeit unfavorable - attempt to hold on to what has been lost. And so a person loses both: the past, because it is no longer there anyway, and the present, because they are constantly living in the past.

 The only thing that helps is what you could call radical acceptance. This means saying radically: “That's over for good. It happened and it won't happen again. It's over.” It's not easy and it hurts a lot at first. But it also liberates you and opens your eyes and your attitude to life for the present and the future. Yes, there can be considerable resistance when you try to do this so radically. Again and again - even though you don't want to do it anymore - you're already back to brooding over what you've lost and the old familiar pain. Then you have to gently but consistently steer yourself back to what is here and now. And you have to realize: I don't have another world, another life.

 And this one world that I have today, I have to make it my home. What does that mean in concrete terms? I have to talk to it, take an interest in it, enter into it. Just recently a client of mine, who can certainly suffer from bouts of loneliness, told me that it does her good when she - just like that - starts talking to other people when she's out and about, nothing earth-shattering, no, just like that, about this or that. It makes a difference whether I just look silently in front of me when I'm shopping or at the bus stop or at the doctor's and don't say a word, or whether I make contact with others in this way.

 Making the one world in which I live here and now my home can also mean taking an interest in cultural, sporting and entertainment activities and participating in them. It means overcoming my inner bastard and really going. And if I don't like it, then I shouldn't make the typical mistake of saying: “See, I knew that wasn't for me from the start!” Instead, I should continue to look for what's on offer.

 Making the world I live in my home can also mean the following: I was recently at the swimming pool. Outside the door I met a man, I guess in his 50s, who came up to me of his own accord and started talking about how he rides his bike a lot. His bike was standing next to him, packed with all sorts of things. And he said: “I live alone - but why should I sit at home and watch TV? I have a car, but I cycle a lot. Long distances, that's how I see my surroundings. And he made a thoroughly whimsical impression.

Catching up on unlived life: outside and inside

The following can also help against loneliness. Each of us, some more, some less, carry around what we can call the unlived life. This refers to the life that I have always wanted to live but have never been able or dared to. It is worth taking the time to do this every now and then and ask yourself: What life has been left behind? What have I always wanted to do, what lifestyle have I always dreamed of but never brought to life? It can take time for this to occur to you. It's often not enough to sit down and think about it for a moment. No, you have to think about it at your leisure. And it's important not to immediately dismiss what comes to mind with the comment, „it's far too late for that” or “that's completely unrealistic.” It would be good to let everything that comes to you come. As you can never think of everything at once, it's also worth keeping a list of ideas or a small ideas book. And whenever you think of something, write it down. And then you can take your time to look at everything and decide what is feasible and what is not. However, you shouldn't be too quick to dismiss things as unrealizable. Where there's a will, there's not always a way, but there is much more often than you think!

What could an unlived life be? Of course, it's different for everyone, but just to provide a few ideas: Where have I always wanted to travel to? What activity have I always wanted to do: sing, learn an instrument, join a hiking group, learn a new language, etc.?

 You could also ask: what changes have I been wanting to make for a long time? Change my apartment or place of residence, say goodbye to this or that relationship, dare to try this or that new relationship, or admittedly very boldly: which country have I always wanted to live in the most? One of my clients was seriously considering whether she should move to France permanently. These ideas could easily go on and on. The key thing here is: don't dream your life but dare to live your dreams.

  A completely different aspect is the following: There is unlived life not only in the relationship between me and the outside world, in which I can do something. There is just as much unlived life in my relationship with myself. The younger a person is, the more eager they are to create their own place in life: friends, partnerships, career, exploring the world etc. The older a person gets, the more they have done all of this. Some with more success, others with less. Whether it has to be one more trip, one more new project or one more new thing that you want to buy is another question. You can also turn inwards and ask what kind of life has been left behind, not lived and shaped?

Specifically, which aspects of myself that have always caused me and others trouble could I finally work on in peace: my anger, which is often far too intense, my restless, driven nature, my excessive desire to help others or my excessive sense of duty to always be the best, my avoidance of closeness, my far too fast pace of life, my overly rambunctious nature, my excessive need for harmony and my aversion to conflict?

 Could it be that I need patience and serenity, being with myself without always having to help, a deep inner sense of home, a car of closeness and love, a balanced existence not only for duty but also for joy, the daring to go my own way instead of always conforming, pausing, kindness, benevolence, taking responsibility for action instead of constant passivity and lameness - that all of these, or one or two of them, would be essential ways of life that need to be rediscovered or reshaped within me? or one or the other of these would be essential ways of living that need to be rediscovered or reshaped? All of this, or parts of it, could be unlived life that is just waiting to finally be unfolded by me and brought to life.

Being connected to yourself

 I would like to expand on what I have just said from a slightly different perspective. A person who feels lonely usually feels too little connected to other people, to the world, to life. And that's true: we are always social beings who need to be connected with other people. Without question. But what we need at least as much is a connection with ourselves. And people who feel lonely may lack this. It may be that they are too shielded from their own depth, from their own inner world, or more precisely, cut off from it.

 What is meant by one's own depth? It refers to the world of the unconscious. Most people associate the unconscious with the world of repressed problems, conflicts, unpleasant experiences, etc. And that is true. All of this is stored in our unconscious. But the unconscious encompasses much more than that. It is also the place where the strong, life-sustaining emotional forces, the good ideas, the deep, good knowledge about life are stored. In other words, the unconscious is a source from which we can draw good, strong life forces such as freedom and lightness despite everything, courage to face life, hope, confidence, security of existence, joy, the feeling of being wanted and loved, creativity, certainty about what we should or should not do and much more. The loss of access to this dimension of depth within us certainly contributes to the feeling of loneliness that many of our contemporaries suffer from.

 But how do you regain access to this dimension? The path to silence is essential. You retreat into a room where it is quiet. You stop listening to good music, are not disturbed by noise and simply try to be quiet. Of course, instead of becoming quiet, it might start to get really loud. Thoughts, worries, unpleasant feelings and other things come to mind. You can then say to these thoughts and worries, “please be so kind and wait outside the door for a short while.” Don't be afraid, I'll pick you up later, but I have other things to do at the moment. Please don't be offended, I'll be back. And then you can continue to wait for it to get quieter and quieter inside you.

 What then? Then you could simply perceive how you are, how you feel, how you feel. And then you can experience amazing things. Feelings can arise that you didn't even feel before and that don't fit in with all the restlessness, the worry, the rush that was just there. These could be feelings of deep inner calm, inner peace, of being unquestioningly protected, of being connected to oneself and to life, deep gratitude for life, joy and serenity and much more. We should simply dwell on these perceptions. You shouldn't analyze anything, just let it sink in.

 You can also focus on a so-called focus word in silence. You focus on a feeling, on an energy that you want more than before, e.g. on the word “freedom”. You don't think about freedom anymore, you just let it sink in. You can imagine that with every breath you inhale freedom deeply, letting it flow through all the pores of your body and mind and simply exhaling unpleasant, unfree feelings with every breath. As you focus on the word freedom, you can let whatever fantasies, inner images, etc. come to you freely. You could then dwell on one of these images and let it sink in for a while. Or you can also write the word freedom with your inner finger in front of your inner eye and let it have an effect on you and casually look into this word. Sometimes wondrous things happen: a beautiful light can suddenly emerge from this word, which radiates a lot of warmth and much more.

 And what is this supposed to do to combat loneliness? It helps me to reconnect more with myself, I am more with myself again than before - and not in circles around everything that depresses me, but with what strengthens me. And that naturally makes me feel much happier in life and strengthens me to enter the world in a new way.

Dare to approach other people

 Loneliness can sometimes also be caused by the fact that I am simply too afraid of other people. The very idea of approaching others and simply speaking to them can give rise to thoughts such as: “How dare I just approach the other person like that, they certainly don't want to know anything about me, at best they'll feel harassed and pressured by me.” Or: “Who are you to talk to this other person? Just look at him. He's way above you in the social rankings. Are you out of your mind to put yourself at the mercy of someone so big? You'd better keep your mouth shut.” Fear of other people can manifest itself like this and in many other ways - and you withdraw and remain lonely.

 Of course you can do that, but from the point of view of not wanting to be alone anymore, it is an unfavorable behavior. One remedy for this is not to avoid anxiety-provoking situations, but to seek them out. Not seeking out the anxiety, but the situations that make me anxious, such as approaching others.

 I have had my very own experiences with this. I used to be an extraordinarily shy person myself and was far too afraid to approach people I wanted to be in contact with. But then I said to myself: No, you're not going to put up with that from yourself. I don't want my life to be over in a way before it has really begun. I didn't want to put up with always being on the sidelines, not daring to do anything and then sitting at home again feeling frustrated and lonely. And so I dared to approach others, to just talk to them, to ask them if we wanted to meet up. That wasn't easy. And I also experienced some really embarrassing situations that I wished had never happened. And I've also had some mediocre experiences, not particularly good but not bad either. And I've hit the jackpot a few times. That's all part of it: sometimes you really miss the mark, and sometimes you really score. It's just life. The most important thing was that I didn't become a lonely person, but rather a person who is in the middle of life and feels connected.

 A nice, if not easy, way to help me along the way was to deliberately expose myself to embarrassing situations. For example, to overcome my shyness, I shouted out loud in the crowded Hamburg subway at rush hour in the morning, “Tickets please!” And everyone thought I was the ticket inspector and started looking in their jacket pockets for the ticket. All eyes were on me, I got a bright red head and then had to reassure the carriage that it was just a joke. Very embarrassing - but little exercises like that really helped me to overcome my fear.

Being your own friend

Loneliness can also be fostered by the fact that I don't like myself enough, that I don't love myself enough. It is therefore worth asking yourself again and again: “How much am I actually on my own side?” How do I actually think and feel about myself?” Am I more or less my inner friend, or am I perhaps more than I realize, my inner enemy? In other words, could it be that I am far too much against myself from the inside? Making myself far too small, talking down to myself, underestimating, devaluing, etc., and making others far too big and important as a result?

  If this is the case, it is important to realize the following: two basic forces are active in each of us and ultimately completely independent of our upbringing, etc. One of these basic forces wants us to feel really good, you could call it - somewhat floridly - our inner friend. This side gives us courage for ourselves, it encourages us to go out into the world, it makes us feel “It's good that we are here.” The other force wants exactly the opposite. As crazy as it sounds, it wants to make us small, whispers to us that we are nothing, that we should be deeply ashamed of ourselves, not just for this or that about ourselves, but quite simply for our very existence. This side could be called the inner enemy. Our lives are ultimately caught between these two poles. And we stand between them. Of course, which side we are closer to, the inner friend or the inner enemy, is very important for our attitude to life.

 What could help me to get closer and closer to the side that really wants the best for me? First of all, it would be good to take stock, in other words, to realize which of these two sides I am closer to in my everyday life. To consciously realize that, for example, I repeatedly make myself small, think badly of myself, etc. This is very different from when it simply happens in a dull state without me consciously realizing it. Because I can only shape what I am really aware of. So if I notice that I am too much against myself, then it is worth pausing and saying to myself: the fact that I feel this way, that I think so negatively about myself, doesn't just happen. There is a method behind it. There is a force behind it that doesn't want me to feel good. This force is not me, but I find it inside me. It grabs hold of me, wants to spread inside me and prevent me from living.

But whether I allow that is a second question. I have a say in that. I can blindly follow this destructive side. However, that would significantly increase the chances of me feeling lonely. But I can also be indignant towards it, not let it put up with everything, but turn to the other side, to my inner friend, and listen to what it has to say to me. He doesn't want to make me feel small, but is happy for me, wants me to feel good and conveys deeply loving feelings from me to myself.

 To counteract feelings of loneliness, it is therefore worth looking at yourself through the eyes of your inner friend again and again and imagining what this friend would say to you in the changing situations of your everyday life. You could imagine this very concretely, as if he were standing beside you and asking, “What would he say to me now?” He could say, for example: “Stop always comparing yourself to others. You are you. And that's a good thing. Yes, you have faults, just like everyone else. But that doesn't mean that you are a mistake! The fact that you are here is a miracle of life. You are a gift of life to yourself and to others. Unwrap the gift that you are and let it shine in your life. In your own way. That is why you are in this world, so that you can reveal yourself in your own way. You should not be a copy of the others; you should not be the way they want you to be. No, please, please be yourself. It's wonderful that you're here.” It goes without saying that a person who feels this way towards themselves is less lonely than someone who constantly allows themselves to be bombarded by the negativity of their inner enemy.

The life-historical roots of loneliness

 The fact that one person is more or less of an inner friend depends not only on what has just been said, but also on the course of life. The events that have happened in the course of life are already history the moment they happen. Now is already the past. What remains are the inner impressions that the events make on us. They are imprinted on our minds and contribute significantly to how we feel.

 If a person has had any kind of experiences in their life history that have favored the experience of loneliness, then these experiences will carry over into today and have a powerful influence on our attitude to life.

 And so it may be that there is actually no significant cause for loneliness in a person's life today: there are friends, there may even be partnerships, there is a job that is justifiable, etc. And yet somehow, they still feel lonely, perhaps very lonely. Then it may well be that the so-called wounded inner child in him speaks up and makes life difficult for him. If a person wants the feeling of loneliness to diminish, preferably disappear completely, it may be necessary for them to turn to the wounded inner child for a while and work through old life-historical wounds. If the after-effects of old injuries are too strong, then all the attention to the so-called positive in my present life alone will not help. It must be supplemented by coming to terms with what has happened. It is not uncommon to need a specialist, a therapist.

   But can you achieve anything on your own? You can at least try. The prerequisite for this, however, is sufficient mental stability so that you are not destabilized by revisiting the days of your childhood and youth. You could take your time to think back to those days and ask yourself: “What were my basic feelings back then? What names did they have? What were the causes of these feelings?” As a rule, the causes of these feelings are essentially rooted in the relationships with the primary caregivers at the time, i.e. often in the relationships with the father and mother. Becoming aware of these feelings would be a first step. It is always a good idea to name them as precisely as possible. It is not enough to say, “I was frustrated.” “I had a lot of pressure.” Or something similar. No, the names of the feelings must be as clear as possible and it must be possible to feel the feelings again. These can be feelings of deep inner shame about myself, inner anger towards myself as well as my parents, fear of my parents, sadness, pain, etc.

Then it would be good to take the inner child who has been hurt in this way very gently into your inner arms, to comfort it, to be with it. And it would be important to express any possible indignation towards those who have hurt you in this way very clearly once again. Finally, you could then ask yourself very consciously: “Who is actually lonely here: is it really me here and now, or is it the hurt inner child inside me?” These would be some very brief suggestions on what you could do yourself. However, there is much, much more to say. It would just go completely beyond the scope here.

Less and less against it, more and more “yes” to life

The loneliness in my attitude to life can continue to be intensified, and sometimes even founded, by personal idiosyncrasies that I have. I'm not thinking of the really good, but rather problematic quirks that you can have. Of course, there are quite a few.

 A very widespread, unpleasant characteristic of people that promotes loneliness is complaining, being somehow against it, grumbling against life: against the weather, against the Federal Railways, against the traffic, against the evil others, etc.

 Of course: complaining is just as much a part of life as gossiping. It's not about not complaining anymore, it's not that rare to complain for good reasons. Rather, it's about not letting your disagreement become chronic. Ultimately, it is about a fundamental attitude towards life that comes from the depths. It is important to ask yourself the question: What am I actually saying in essence: yes/or no to life? This deep basic attitude from which I approach life determines the basic tone of my charisma. And that in turn makes me more or less attractive to other people. Who wants to be around someone who radiates a rather hostile vibe? And on the other hand, who doesn't want to be around someone who is more life-affirming, open to life and lives in the mode of love, despite all the adversities that exist every day in everyone's life? Such an open-minded, loving attitude towards life is strengthened, for example, by making it clear to yourself: I am not the center of life and life has to serve me with everything I would like so much. Rather, life itself is at the center and the way I lead my life should constantly provide new, life-giving answers to the questions that life asks me here and now.

 Another basic attitude that increases loneliness is rederitis.[2] There are people who literally occupy the floor in a conversation, who more or less talk you under the table without periods or commas. You can make noises, such as taking a deep breath, moving your chair a little, clearing your throat, etc., to indicate that you want to say something. None of this helps, you can't get a word in edgewise.

 There is also the opposite: the person who would prefer to just be entertained, who doesn't contribute anything from their side to a conversation, an activity, etc. This is also not very attractive to others.

And chronic bossiness, or its opposite, constantly talking down to others is not particularly attractive. It rather encourages others to turn away from instead of towards.

These unfavorable characteristics could easily be added to.

 In summary, this question could be formulated, which you can ask yourself and, of course, others: “What typical, critical feedback do I actually receive again and again regarding my behavior and being? Which rather unfavorable traits do I, if I am honest, know about myself? It's worth working on this as it reduces the risk of sinking into loneliness.

Avoid sensory bias

 Sometimes people are also lonelier than they should be because they live too one-sidedly over a long period of time. We all need not just one, but several pillars of meaning on which to base our lives. Too much one-sidedness can make you lonely. For example, if you only ever work, only ever relax, only ever focus on your children, only ever read good books, etc., you don't have to, but you can find that your attitude to life becomes increasingly colorless and empty and you start to feel lonely. The more and different-colored meaning I experience in my everyday life, the less lonely I will feel.

 Without a doubt, living in relationships is also part of a meaningful life. And relationships should not only be experienced passively, but also actively cultivated. It is also worth taking a look at this: How do I deal with the relationships in which I live? Do I just let them run their course or do I actively nurture them?

 Sometimes, however, people suffer not only from a lack of meaning, but also from a loss of meaning. Of course, it is then important to search for new meaning. But sometimes this simply cannot be found. But then it is still possible to wait with open arms, i.e. in a life-oriented attitude, for new life to come to me out of life - without my doing anything - that I cannot yet see. The decisive factor here is not to drift into resignation, but to hope for life itself and to be open to what is to come.

Lonely people need active help from other people

In my reflections so far, I have essentially focused on the question: What can I do to feel as little lonely as possible? And in my opinion, that is also the central question, because ultimately only I can change my attitude to life.

 However, there are also a sufficient number of people who are simply no longer able to cope on their own due to physical illness or physical infirmity, material hardship, psychological distress and so on. In such cases, it is essentially up to their fellow human beings to help. It would be cynical to expect the person concerned to do so. You have to move. They simply can't do it. It's up to others.

 Let me summarize my presentation:

 Overcoming loneliness requires a person's full motivation

 Every person is always more than their problem.

 It is worth changing your perspective from the deficits to the good and the successful

 Reflect on the times when I was not lonely

 Say goodbye to what was

 Make the world in which I now live my home

 Catch up on unlived life

 Being connected with myself

 Dare to approach other people

Be or become your own friend

Working on the life-historical roots of loneliness

Saying yes to life more and more

Avoiding one-sidedness

Coming to the aid of people who can no longer help themselves

[1] The meaning of suing here means to “plead one’s fate.” We don’t use this meaning for “sue” in modern American English, but I am familiar with it from an old hymn, “Did You Think to Pray?” by M.A. Kidder: “Ere you left your room this morning, Did you think to pray? In the name of Christ our Savior, Did you sue for loving favor, As a shield today?“

[2] This means to be very talkative. We could make a pun with “logo-rhea,” diarrhea of the mouth.

Entrevista con el Rev. Dr. Gerhard Sprakties

Aautor de: La espiritualidad como factor de resiliencia en las crisis de la vida: El concepto de mente de Viktor Frankl y su importancia para la psicoterapia y el asesoramiento

Gerhardsprakties.de

Por Tom Edmondson para Meaninginministry.org

Un agradecimiento especial a Moisés Mercado por la edición de la traducción al español.

Preguntas para la entrevista al pastor Gerhard Sprakties

Por Tom Edmondson para Meaninginministry.com

TOMAS: ¿ La logoterapia formó parte de su proceso educativo en el seminario antes de entrar en el ministerio, o después? En otras palabras, ¿fue parte del plan de estudios o descubrió la logoterapia más tarde? 

GS: Descubrí la logoterapia durante mis estudios en Berlín. Allí comencé un programa de formación básica en logoterapia y análisis existencial con el pastor Günter Funke. Más adelante durante mis estudios, asistí a una conferencia sobre logoterapia y cuidado pastoral con el Prof. Dr. Wolfram Kurz en Tubinga.

TOMAS: Tengo la misma pregunta sobre la imaginación orientada a los valores: ¿formaba parte de su proceso educativo en el seminario o llegó más tarde? 

GS: Sólo aprendí sobre la imaginación orientada a los valores muchos años después, durante un programa de formación de tres años en el Instituto de Logoterapia y Análisis Existencial de Maguncia. Un año de la formación con el Dr. Peek de Hamburgo estuvo dedicado principalmente a la imaginación valorativa. 

TOMAS: De las muchas escuelas de psicología ¿Por qué encuentras atractiva la logoterapia?

GS: La logoterapia es una psicoterapia espiritual que incorpora la dimensión espiritual de la

existencia humana. Está abierta a preguntas y valores espirituales y religiosos. Para mí, la búsqueda de significado es fundamental para una vida plena.

TOMAS: ¿Utiliza únicamente la logoterapia como enfoque o también incorpora otros métodos y escuelas de pensamiento en su trabajo?

GS: Una fuerte influencia en mi trabajo proviene de la psicoterapia hipnosistémica de Gunther Schmidt en Heidelberg. Su trabajo fue significativamente inspirado por Milton Erickson en Estados Unidos, y luego Schmidt desarrolló estas ideas en su propio enfoque.

TOMAS: ¿Predicas? Si es así, ¿ha integrado la logoterapia en sus predicaciones?

GS: Sí, actualmente en hogares de ancianos y antes en la iglesia. Mis predicaciones están muy influidas por Frankl y la logoterapia.               

TOMAS: Algunos logoterapeutas creen que la logoterapia debería ser secular. Pastores como yo encontramos que la logoterapia es un enfoque muy útil para el cuidado pastoral y la consejería.

GS: La logoterapia, en esencia, debe mantenerse neutral con respecto a la religión, lo que significa que está abierta a todas las personas, independientemente de su fe o la falta de ella. He desarrollado mi propio concepto de cuidado pastoral orientado al significado. En mi libro, "Cuidado Pastoral Orientado al Significado para Personas Mayores: Apoyo Espiritual para Adultos Mayores frente a la Demencia, la Depresión y el Proceso de Muerte" (publicado en 2013 por Neukirchener Verlag y ahora reeditado por Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht en Gotinga), describo mis muchos años de experiencia con la logoterapia y el cuidado pastoral para personas mayores. La logoterapia ha sido muy útil en mi trabajo con adultos mayores que dudan del significado de sus vidas.

TOMAS: Parece que algunos logoterapeutas no aceptan la imaginación orientada a los valores. ¿Qué le diría a una persona así?

GS: La imaginación orientada a valores, tal como la desarrolló el Prof. Böschemeyer, es un método muy útil para acceder directamente al inconsciente espiritual. Sin embargo, es adecuado solo para personas que son receptivas a las técnicas imaginativas.

Preguntas sobre su libro:

TOMAS: Al igual que otros, usted introduce la palabra «resiliencia» en la logoterapia. Añade la idea de que «la resiliencia es un subproducto de la búsqueda de sentido» (capítulo 5). ¿Podrías hablar un poco sobre esto y cómo enriquece el trabajo de Frankl?

GS: Aquellos que encuentran significado en sus vidas se vuelven más resilientes como resultado. Para Frankl, el objetivo siempre es el descubrimiento del significado, no la resiliencia. Por lo tanto, considero la resiliencia como un subproducto de encontrar significado. Incluso aquellos que logran encontrar significado en su sufrimiento más severo están mejor preparados para afrontarlo.

TOMAS: Me parece que términos como "religión" y "espiritualidad" han adquirido matices más estrictos de significado desde la muerte de Frankl en 1997. ¿Cómo distingues estos términos en tu trabajo y escritos en 2024?

GS: Desde los escándalos de abuso tanto en las iglesias católicas como protestantes, ha habido una tendencia notable a alejarse de un concepto de religión estrecho, dogmático y moralista hacia un concepto de espiritualidad más abiertoy basado en la experiencia. Este último refleja una búsqueda cada vez más individual de seguridad, orientación y sentido.

TOMAS: En el capítulo 7 aborda el abuso espiritual y las neurosis eclesiogénicas (inducidas por el clero). ¿Cómo puede el consejero ayudar a una persona a curarse utilizando un enfoque espiritual como la logoterapia? ¿Y es la imaginación orientada a los valores una buena opción en un caso así?

GS: No me veo en condiciones de acompañar a personas con neurosis eclesiogénicas graves y experiencias de abuso utilizando la logoterapia. Dejo esto en manos de psiquiatras y neurólogos especializados. En las sesiones de asesoramiento, abordo las imágenes problemáticas de Dios e intento señalar las dependencias y los peligros. Para las personas con experiencias traumáticas de abuso espiritual, no considero apropiados los métodos imaginativos. 

TOMAS: En el capítulo 8 presentas varios puntos importantes. Por ejemplo, que las personas que sufren psicológicamente también sufren espiritualmente. Creo que Frankl estaría de acuerdo con este punto. Sin embargo, él argumentaría que la religión debe mantenerse fuera de la conversación a menos que el cliente la mencione primero. ¿Hay un momento en que el consejero debería introducir el tema de la religión primero?

GS: Siempre que el cliente mencione la religión por su cuenta y si parece útil para el proceso terapéutico. De lo contrario, tiendo a ser cauteloso al respecto.

TOMAS: Al igual que tú (capítulo 9) y otros (por ejemplo, Rosemarie Jaffin), creo que la oración sirve como un tipo de dereflexión y autotrascendencia. ¿Podrías decir un poco más sobre esto?

GS: Sí, la oración ayuda a romper la fijación que a menudo se ve en el sufrimiento y la culpa, redirigiéndola hacia Dios y trascendiéndola. Para mí, la declaración del Papa Benedicto aplica aquí: “Quien cree nunca está solo.” Dios es el compañero en nuestras conversaciones más íntimas con nosotros mismos, como ya lo enfatizó el joven Frankl. La oración crea distancia y abre un espacio para la esperanza y la libertad.

TOMAS: ¿Cómo podemos nosotros—pastores, logoterapeutas—ganar credibilidad en un ambiente cada vez más espiritual pero no religioso en la actualidad?

GS: Dando testimonio de la fuerza significativa de nuestra fe cristiana a través de un credo personal adecuado a la situación.

Muchas gracias

Interview mit Pfarrer Rev. Dr. Gerhard Sprakties

Autor von: Spiritualität als Resilienzfaktor in Lebenskrisen: Viktor Frankls Geistbegriff und seine Bedeutung für Psychotherapie und Beratung

Gerhardsprakties.de

Von Tom Edmondson für Meaninginministry.com

TOM: War die Logotherapie Teil Ihrer Ausbildung am Priesterseminar, bevor Sie in den Dienst eintraten, oder danach? Mit anderen Worten, war sie Teil des Lehrplans oder haben Sie die Logotherapie erst später entdeckt?

GS: Ich habe die Logotherapie während meines Studiums in Berlin entdeckt. Dort begann ich eine Grundausbildung in Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse bei Pastor Günter Funke. Später im Studium habe ich dann eine Vorlesung über Logotherapie und Seelsorge bei Prof. Dr. Wolfram Kurz in Tübingen besucht.

TOM: Ich habe dieselbe Frage zur Werteorientierten Imagination: War sie Teil Ihrer Ausbildung am Priesterseminar oder kam sie erst später?

GS: Die wertorientierte Imagination habe ich erst viele Jahre später während einer dreijährigen Ausbildung am Institut für Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse in Mainz kennengelernt. Ein Jahr der Ausbildung bei Dr. Peek aus Hamburg war primär der Wertimagination gewidmet.

TOM: Warum finden Sie die Logotherapie unter den vielen psychologischen Schulen ansprechend?

GS: Die Logotherapie ist eine spirituelle Psychotherapie die die geistige Dimension des Menschen einbezieht. Sie ist offen für spirituelle und religiöse Fragen und Werte. Für mich ist die Sinnfrage von grundlegender Bedeutung für ein gelingendes Leben.

TOM: Verfolgen Sie als Ansatz ausschließlich die Logotherapie oder beziehen Sie auch andere Methoden/Denkrichtungen in Ihre Arbeit ein?

 GS: Ich persönlich bin noch stark von der hypnosystemischen Psychotherapie von Gunther Schmidt in Heidelberg inspiriert. Er hat wichtige Impulse bei Milton Erickson in Amerika bekommen und diese dann in Europa weiterentwickelt.

TOM: Halten Sie Predigten? Wenn ja, haben Sie die Logotherapie in Ihre Predigten integriert?

 GS: Ja, jetzt in den Altenheimen und früher in der Gemeinde.  Meine Predigten sind stark von Frankl und der Logotherapie beeinflusst. 

Einige Logotherapeuten sind der Meinung, dass die Logotherapie säkular sein sollte. Pastoren wie ich empfinden die Logotherapie als sehr nützlichen Ansatz für die Seelsorge. 

Die Logotherapie sollte grundsätzlich weltanschaulich neutral sein, das heißt, offen für alle Menschen, egal ob gläubig oder nicht. Ich habe eine eigene sinnorientierte Seelsorgekonzeption entwickelt. In dem Buch “Die sinnorientierte Altenseelsorge. Die seelsorgliche Begleitung alter Menschen bei Demenz, Depression und im Sterbeprozess” (2013 im Neukirchener Verlag erschienen/jetzt neu bei Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht in Göttingen) habe ich meine langjährigen Erfahrungen mit Logotherapie und Altenseelsorge beschrieben. Mir hat die Logotherapie bei meiner Arbeit mit alten Menschen die am Sinn ihres Lebenszweifeln sehr geholfen. 

TOM: Es scheint, als würden einige Logotherapeuten die werteorientierte Imagination nicht akzeptieren. Was sagen Sie zu einer solchen Person?

 GS: Die wertorientierte Imagination - wie sie Prof. Böschemeyer entwickelt hat - ist eine sehr hilfreiche Methode, um einen direkten Zugang zum geistig Unbewussten zu finden. Freilich eignet sie sich nur für Personen, die für imaginative Verfahren ansprechbar sind.

Fragen zu Ihrem Buch:

TOM: Wie andere bringen Sie das Wort „Resilienz“ in die Logotherapie ein. Sie fügen die Erkenntnis hinzu, dass „Resilienz ein Nebenprodukt der Sinnfindung ist“ (Kapitel 5). Würden Sie etwas dazu sagen und wie es Frankls Arbeit bereichert?

GS: Wer einen Sinn in seinem Leben sieht, wird allein schon dadurch resilienter. Das Ziel ist für Frankl stets die Sinnfindung und nicht die Resilienz. Daher sehe ich in der entstehenden Resilienz ein Nebenprodukt der Sinnfindung. Auch wer in einem schweren Leiden einen Sinn erkennen kann, wird dies besser bewältigen.

TOM: Mir scheint, dass Begriffe wie „Religion“ und „Spiritualität“ seit Frankls Tod im Jahr 1997 strengere Bedeutungsnuancen angenommen haben. Wie unterscheiden Sie diese Begriffe in Ihrer Arbeit und Ihren Schriften im Jahr 2024?

GS: Spätestens seit den Missbrauchsskandalen in den kath. und evang. Kirchen ist bei vielen Menschen eine starke Tendenz zu spüren, weg von einem engen dogmatischen und moralischem Religionsbegriff hin zu einem mehr Erfahrungsbezogenen offenen Begriff von Spiritualität. Der Letztere ist für mich Ausdruck eines sich mehr und mehr individualisierenden Suche nach Geborgenheit, Orientierung und Sinn.

TOM: In Kapitel 7 gehen Sie auf spirituellen Missbrauch und ekklesiogene (durch Geistliche verursachte) Neurosen ein. Wie hilft der Seelsorger einer solchen Person bei der Heilung mit einem spirituellen Ansatz wie der Logotherapie? Und ist in einem solchen Fall die werteorientierte Imagination eine gute Wahl?

GS: Ich selber sehe mich nicht in der Lage, Menschen logotherapeutisch mit schwerwiegenden ekklesiogenen Neurosen und Missbrauchserfahrungen zu begleiten. Dies überlasse ich spezialisierten Fachärzten für Psychiatrie und Neurologie. Im Seelsorgegespräch gehe ich auf problematische Gottesbilder ein und versuche Abhängigkeiten und Gefahren aufzuzeigen. Für Menschen mit traumatischen Erfahrungen von spirituellem Missbrauch halte ich imaginative Verfahren für nicht angezeigt. 

TOM: In Kapitel 8 bringen Sie einige wichtige Erkenntnisse ein. Zum Beispiel, dass Menschen, die psychisch leiden, auch spirituell leiden. Ich denke, Frankl würde diesem Punkt zustimmen. Er würde jedoch argumentieren, dass Religion aus dem Gespräch herausgehalten wird, es sei denn, der Klient spricht sie an. Gibt es einen Zeitpunkt, an dem der Berater die Religion zuerst ansprechen sollte?

GS: Immer dann, wen es der Klient von sich aus einbringt und es für den weiteren Therapieverlauf hilfreich erscheint. Ansonsten bin da eher zurückhaltend.

TOM: Wie Sie (Kapitel 9) und andere (z. B. Rosemarie Jaffin) glaube ich, dass das Gebet als eine Art Dereflexion und Selbsttranszendenz dient. Würden Sie etwas mehr dazu sagen?

GS: Ja, es hilft die oft anzutreffende Fixiertheit auf Leid und Schuld zu durchbrechen und sie auf Gott hin zu transzendieren. Für mich gilt hier der Satz von Papst Benedict: “Wer glaubt ist nie allein.” Gott ist der Partner unserer intimsten Selbstgespräche wie schon der junge Frankl betont. Ein Gebet schafft Distanz und eröffnet einen Raum der Hoffnung und Freiheit.

TOM: Wie können wir – Pastoren, Logotherapeuten – in einer zunehmend spirituellen, aber nicht religiösen Atmosphäre von heute an Glaubwürdigkeit gewinnen?

GS: Indem wir situationsgemäß durch ein persönlichkeitsspezifisches Credo Zeugnis ablegen von der sinnstiftenden Kraft unseres christlichen Glaubens.

Vielen Dank!

Interview with Rev. Dr. Gerhard Sprakties

Author of: Spirituality as a Resilience Factor in Life Crises: Viktor Frankl's Concept of the Mind and its Significance for Psychotherapy and Counseling

Gerhardsprakties.de

Interview Questions with Rev. Dr. Gerhard Sprakties

By Tom Edmondson for Meaninginministry.com

Presented in English

TOM: Was Logotherapy part of your seminary education before going into the ministry or after? In other words, was it part of a curriculum of study or did you discover Logotherapy later?

GS:  I discovered logotherapy during my studies in Berlin, where I began basic training in Logotherapy and existential analysis with Pastor Günter Funke. Later in my studies, I attended a lecture on logotherapy and pastoral care with Prof. Dr. Wolfram Kurz in Tübingen.

TOM: I have the same question about Werteorientierte Imagination: was it part of your seminary education, or did it come later?

GS: I only learned about value-oriented imagination many years later during a three-year training program at the Institute for Logotherapy and Existential Analysis in Mainz. One year of training with Dr. Peek from Hamburg was primarily dedicated to value imagination.

TOM: Of the many schools of psychology, why do you find Logotherapy appealing?

GS: Logotherapy is a spiritual psychotherapy that incorporates the spiritual dimension of human existence. It is open to spiritual and religious questions and values. For me, the search for meaning is fundamental to a fulfilling life.

TOM: As an approach, do you pursue Logotherapy exclusively, or do you incorporate other methods/schools of thought into your work?

GS: A strong influence on my work comes from hypnosystemic psychotherapy of Gunther Schmidt in Heidelberg. His work was significantly inspired by Milton Erickson in America and Schmidt then developed these ideas in his own work.

TOM: Do you preach? If so, have you integrated Logotherapy into your preaching?

GS: Yes, currently in nursing homes and previously in congregations. My sermons are strongly influenced by Frankl and Logotherapy.

TOM: Some Logotherapists believe Logotherapy should be secular. Pastors like me find Logotherapy to be a very useful approach to pastoral care and counseling.

GS: Logotherapy should fundamentally remain neutral with respect to religion, meaning it is open to all people, regardless of faith or lack thereof. I have developed my own meaning-oriented pastoral care concept. In my book, “Meaning-Oriented Pastoral Care for the Elderly: Spiritual Support for Older Adults Facing Dementia, Depression, and the Dying Process” (published in 2013 by Neukirchener Verlag and now reissued by Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht in Göttingen), I describe my many years of experience with logotherapy and pastoral care for the elderly. Logotherapy has been very helpful in my work with older adults who doubt the meaning of their lives.

TOM: It seems like some Logotherapists are not accepting of Werteorientierte Imagination. What do you say to such a person?

GS: Value-oriented imagination, as developed by Prof. Böschemeyer, is a very helpful method for accessing the spiritual unconscious directly. However, it is suitable only for individuals who are receptive to imaginative techniques.

Questions about your book:

TOM: Like others, you bring the word “resilience” into Logotherapy. You add the insight that “resilience is a byproduct of finding meaning” (chapter 5). Would you say a little about this and how it enhances Frankl’s work?

GS: Those who find meaning in their lives become more resilient as a result. For Frankl, the goal is always the discovery of meaning, not resilience. Therefore, I view resilience as a byproduct of finding meaning. Even those who can find meaning in their severe suffering are better equipped to cope with it.

TOM: It seems to me that terms like “religion” and “spirituality” have taken on stricter nuances of meaning since Frankl’s death in 1997. How do you distinguish these terms in your work and writing in 2024?

GS: Since the abuse scandals in both Catholic and Protestant churches, there has been a noticeable trend away from a narrow dogmatic and moralistic concept of religion toward a more experience-based and open concept of spirituality. The latter reflects an increasingly individual search for security, orientation, and meaning.

TOM: In chapter 7 you touch on spiritual abuse and ecclesiogenic (clergy caused) neuroses. How does the pastoral counselor help such a person heal using a spiritual approach such as Logotherapy? And in such a case, is Werteorientierte Imagination a good choice?

GS: I do not feel capable of accompanying individuals with severe ecclesiogenic neuroses or experiences of abuse in a logotherapeutic way. I leave this to specialized psychiatrists and neurologists. In pastoral conversations, I address problematic images of God and try to highlight dependencies and dangers. For individuals with traumatic experiences of spiritual abuse, I do not consider imaginative techniques appropriate.

TOM: In chapter 8 you bring in several important insights. For instance, that people who suffer psychologically also suffer spiritually. I think Frankl would agree with this point. However, he would argue that religion stays out of the conversation unless the client raises it. Is there a time when the counselor should bring religion up first?

GS: Whenever the client brings religion up on their own, and if it seems helpful for the therapeutic process. Otherwise, I tend to be cautious in this regard.

TOM: Like you (chapter 9) and others (e.g., Rosemarie Jaffin), I believe that prayer serves as a type of dereflection and self-transcendence. Would you say a little bit more about this?

GS: Yes, prayer helps break the fixation often seen in suffering and guilt, redirecting it toward God and transcending it. For me, Pope Benedict’s statement applies here: “Whoever believes is never alone.” God is the partner in our most intimate self-conversations, as the young Frankl already emphasized. Prayer creates distance and opens a space for hope and freedom.

TOM: How can we—pastors, Logotherapists— gain credibility in an increasingly in today’s spiritual but not religious atmosphere?

GS: By situationally bearing witness to the meaningful power of our Christian faith through a credo which is specific to the person. Thank you very much!

Imagination: Images of the Soul as a Source of Power

By Ulrich Kusche, Göttingen
Revised version of a Lecture in Frankfurt on the 3rd of May 2008.

Translated by Tom Edmondson for meaninginministry.com

Translation note: This paper describes the author’s use of a technique called wertorientierte imagination in German. The word “imagination” here has a unique meaning. It does not refer to a faculty of the mind or fantasy. Rather, it refers to a technique of bringing a conscious client into his or her subconscious and waiting for the images that the subconscious produces to appear. The client does not produce the images, rather, the images appear on their own. Wertorientierte imagination is a technique that was developed by Uwe Böschemeyer, a student of Viktor Frankl. It is widely practiced in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland, but little known outside of the German speaking world. In this paper wertorientierte imagination will be translated into English as Value-oriented Imagination with the word imagination in italics to remind the reader of its special meaning in this context. This also applies to other iterations such as imaginary, imaginand, and imagination.

Let's start with an example of the strengthening effect of inner images.  A young man is quite unsure how his path should continue. I ask him if he feels his strength somewhere in his body. Yes, he answers, closing his eyes all by himself. There is a green core in my belly, the size of an apple. It wants to get it out, he says, wants to pour into my body. But a gray, infinitely large mass surrounds it, preventing the energy from escaping. Finally, he finds a hole in the middle of this mass, and when he can move through it, a bright, beautiful landscape opens up. He is standing at a fork in the road. He takes one of the two possible paths, comes to a mountain. When he feels alone there, he looks for help. There comes a big bird. It carries him across fields and forests, finally setting him down at an observation tower. They arrange to meet again. The big bird leaves the young man a feather that he puts in his hair.

Allowing inner pictures, visions, and imagination, to arise are universal ways of gaining access to the deeper layers of the individual, to the levels from which the powers and possibilities of human existence, indeed of life in general, arise. Like the dream, the unexpected or the sought-after vision serve in all shamanic traditions as a guide for one's own life, or the healing of the other. The astonishing account of Malidoma Somé (1) about his initiation into the tradition of the West African Dagara makes it clear that shamanic experiences are of primeval power even in our time. The expectation of heavenly signs and images in meditative exercises of various kinds has remained alive in the various religious traditions of our earth. They often mark the beginning of a step towards greater wholeness and healing, which occurs in an astonishingly similar manner and intensity, regardless of the differences in the images and their interpretations.

In modern psychology, Sigmund Freud emphasized the importance of dreams, taking up suggestions from his predecessors. Carl Gustav Jung paved the way for the active imagination. In taking up Viktor Frankl's theoretical insights into the power of the unconscious mind, Uwe Böschemeyer developed the practice of value-oriented imagination. (2) Ahead of his time, Hans-Carl Leuner's (3) discoveries with the katathymic imagery and Klaus Lange's suggestions for dialogue with one's own heart and every inner feeling. (4) O. Carl Simonton (5) introduced imaginative methods to the work with cancer patients; Luise Reddemann (6) established imagination as a particularly effective tool in the clinical work with severely traumatized patients, especially women.

In NLP, in self-awareness with so-called fantasy journeys, in the processes developed by Brandon Bays (7), imaginative methods are used even for children to resolve unconscious or repressed conflicts, but in very different ways. Mental training unlocks the power of imaginative methods for athletes and power coaching and similar methods for business leaders. The latest version of imaginative work is emotional body therapy (8), a way of getting close to inner answers through four questions, even if it is not accompanied.

Those who are interested in the self-determination and unique individuality of the people entrusted to them will, however, avoid schematic guidelines and suggested solutions from the therapist as far as possible and leave it to the inner forces of the client to decide which conflicts are at hand and which solutions are achievable in each case. The fact that unexpected powers and surprising possible solutions lie within oneself, in deep layers of consciousness, in the soul, is the first and common experience of the methods mentioned when allowing inner images. This discovery alone often has a liberating effect. Uwe Böschemeyer, in whose value imagination I am trained and from which experiences I can speak directly, characterizes the saving potential inherent in every human soul with the title of his fundamental book: Our Depths are Bright. There is light in our depths. This is both comforting and challenging: each of us is more than our problem, deficit, or illness. Hidden in this are ways out and new tasks, salvation and healing. In order to do justice to this promising message, it is important to deal with inner imagery experiences carefully and responsibly.

Let me illustrate the different ways of dealing with inner potential with the help of this overview by Professor Armin Pfau. (9) From the point of view of control, the transitions from dream to vision and suggestion are, in my opinion, plausibly presented.

 With the exception of lucid dreams, dream images that can hardly be influenced enter our consciousness. Depending on whether the dream images are touching or frightening, the existential significance of the dream content for the dreamer can be revealed immediately or they remain enigmatic, return threateningly, or retain their enticing appeal for a long time.

Unexplained dream elements, like any other topic, are ideally suited to being processed through imagination. In a state of as deep relaxation as possible, in a light trance, and with clear waking consciousness, we can allow inner images to emerge from the depths of the unconscious and bring them from the infinite expanse of the superconscious. Professor Pfau has described this aptly here: Deep, authentic imagination occurs in the conscious acceptance of the messages that emerge from the unconscious. These offer the opportunity and the challenge to take a personal stand and aim to implement them in one's own life.

Of course, conscious intentions of the individual or a companion can also be clothed in images, which are then offered to the deeper layers of the overall consciousness. So-called guided imaginations accompanied or imitated fantasy journeys, suggestive procedures through to self-hypnosis and hypnosis of others takes place in this area of consciously controlled experiences. (8)

However, the effectiveness of the inner images or suggestive ideas depends decisively on the extent to which they reach and transform the deep feelings of the person concerned. Here, Uwe Böschemeyer's insights agree with the findings of other therapists and probably also with your own experiences. This also explains the repeatedly experienced ineffectiveness of the so widely praised positive thinking. Problematic memories are usually associated with deep feelings. If positive counter-clauses remain on the level of conscious desire or are even associated with secret doubts, the deeper feelings of being hurt or of inferiority retain their power unbroken.

The messages of the deep layers of human consciousness appear as images that are often very plastic and can be experienced with all the senses. The sun warms the skin, the surf of the turbulent sea is audible, the scent of the lilies is beguiling, and touch goes deep into the heart. As much as the motifs that we know from the fairy tales and mythical tales of world cultures are similar, such as the garden and the high mountain, the golden carriage and the royal castle, the bright figure and the old sage, their design is highly individual. The more the inner power expresses itself in a very personally designed image, the more direct the contact between the conscious and the unconscious can become, the greater the chance of transforming the deep feelings. That is why, in my experience, it is so important to leave freedom and space for individual acceptance and design, even for redesign by each individual.

I am convinced that this also applies to imaginations used in training. This is especially true for the steps in NLP or journey work processes. There is no scheme of inner development that is equally valid for every person and can therefore be adopted. Everyone goes their own way, especially when it comes to resolving serious conflicts. Therefore, it is much less important than some people think that certain predetermined process steps are necessary. Rather, the unmistakable sign of genuine experience and inner transformation is the liberated, redeemed expression on the face and eyes of the imaginand, which is often reflected in a significantly changed posture.

In this sense, imagination is a universal path of knowledge that is suitable for all topics, and at the same time, of empowerment to change thinking and acting. In one respect, Uwe Böschemeyer's value imagination has led to a significant expansion and enrichment of imaginative work. All specifically human qualities are accessible with their liberating and transforming potential in the depth of human consciousness: trust and joy, creativity, and healing knowledge. That is the old, ancient experience. If we allow and, if necessary, specifically look for these valuable qualities to appear to us as shapes, it is easier for us as human beings to get in touch with and exchange with the forces they represent. As humans, we experience connections particularly intensely when we let ourselves be held by the hand, when we are allowed to lean on each other and look into the eyes.

To this day, I remember the first imagination I accompanied. A woman I had counseled for a while, then 44 years old, was first plagued by severe compulsions, later by excesses. At her insistence, I dared to make a cautious attempt with her. When I asked her--after a short introductory relaxation--in which landscape she was, she said after a moment of silence, quite surprised:

It's like in Tuscany. There are pine trees. It is pleasantly warm. A beautiful landscape, but somehow dead. No one is to be seen.

Take your time, I say. Look around you, look at the horizon.

There is none, only something dark black. A dark figure, with a black cowl and black hood. Oh my goodness, I am frightened.

The first thing she encounters is her fear.

Will we be able to do that now?

I quickly hear myself say: Leave the figure where it is for the time being. What else do you see?

The imaginand answers, evidently without alarm: I see an old house, but quite nice, with a large old garden. There is a wall around the property. The main door is ajar. A small cat that strokes her, although she usually does not like cats, and helps her enter the house. After a long exploration of both floors, she notices a large mirror in the entrance hallway. When I ask her to look in the middle of this mirror, she says: I see a young woman in a loose dress. And then quite surprised: That's me, but completely changed, with long hair. I actually look quite nice. The eyes are big and clear. I am very calm and composed.

After she has familiarized herself a little more with this young woman in the mirror, I ask her what might happen now.

The imaginand says very happily: She steps out of the mirror and takes me by the hand.

The young woman goes to the sea with the imaginand. They sit next to each other on stones on the shore, their thighs touching. They look at the restless waves, in which a deep harmony vibrates. At least that's how the imaginary learns it from their shared perception. A lot of energy and strength comes from there, she says.

After a while, she recognizes in the young woman the power of life and the affirmation of life. When they say goodbye, she receives a gift, a staff with a small star at the top. This staff will subsequently serve her well in everyday life whenever she feels insecure and weak.

This client, who also had somatic complaints and a traumatic background, has since remained close to her young woman, the representative of life affirmation, which Uwe Böschemeyer calls an “ally”. After a long period of independent progress with only occasional imaginings, she recently showed interest in setting off on an accompanied encounter with the dark figure, the figure she first perceived at the time, the figure with the black cowl and black hood.

In countless imaginations, people have experienced that even encounters with dark figures can be dared if the imaginands trust that the figures from the shadow realm also have an important message for them. It helps frightened clients to dare to place this trust and to persevere if they are directly accompanied by a value figure, the ally or allies, by their inner “Indian” or their inner healers. This is why Uwe Böschemeyer generally advises clients to first establish contact with the helpful figures in their imagination work. At the most difficult stages of the inner journey, technical aids are then just as dispensable as external interventions from the therapist. Unlike the best therapist, the inner guides always know the appropriate solution.

However, it can happen that an inner figure is shadowed and has only limited access to its typical resources. Then the fear of the imaginand has cast a shadow on the value-form, and it is necessary to help the value-form itself to regain its full power. Often the opposite-sex figure of the same force is particularly helpful for this. We often find it easier to make contact with the gender that strengthened us in the respective specific quality in the previous life and was a role model.

An insight from the practice of value imagination is also of great philosophical importance and it may have an impact on our self-image and the way we deal with the people who confide in us. When we consider the question of what we are dealing with in terms of the forces from the depths and from above, and set off imaginatively to the home of the value figures in search of an answer, then deeply religious images regularly appear, regardless of the ideological view and personal beliefs of the imaginand:

Deeply insecure people find themselves in a net that carries them unconditionally, those who are severely frightened feel wonderfully cared for in a big hand. Great angels touch a heart, heavenly sounds emanate from a mighty throne as well as an enveloping, infinitely strong stream of love. And it is always the strong, warm light that shines in the value figures and surrounds them, that fills the cosmos and the whole universe. Here it becomes palpable, the source of all knowledge and wisdom, all grace, all salvation. From such a deep experience with the traces of God, to borrow the title of Uwe Böschemeyer's latest book, new trust and unusual courage grow in a highly intense way.

What can those working in the healing professions take from the experiences of value imagination for themselves, even if they do not want to start any further training? The possibilities are manifold and can be carefully tried out and developed by anyone interested. For example, those working in counseling or caring can looking imaginatively at the person entrusted to them before the arranged session and let their hands, eyes, and heart give them a first impression. If you need to perceive more precisely, it can be very revealing to look at the client through the eyes of your own inner healer or therapist.

If there is strain in the relationship, therapists can look into the space between themselves and the client. They can also ask the client to come up with a figure that stands for the problem that is not yet understood or for an affected organ. In this way, a completely different kind of organ language can emerge such as that developed and published by Horst Krohne. (10)

In my experience, more important than practical sophistication is the deep trust of the wise companion waiting inside the person being accompanied, which is rooted deeper than in the unconscious of the individual. Stanislav Grof, a psychiatrist from Czechoslovakia and later co-founder of transpersonal psychology, convinced himself of the limitless access possibilities of human consciousness in his decades of work with people, partly under the dosed administration of LSD, partly using holotropic breathing. His experiences, which he recently summarized once again, confirm the insights of imaginative work. (11)

A short sequence may illustrate the cosmic dimension of deep imaginations. In an unaccompanied imagination in a small group, a woman sees many, many sheep in an archaic landscape and a shepherd with an impressive figure. When she has gazed at the shepherd for a long time and then moves closer to him, she clearly perceives his staff. All at once, this staff is taken up by her body. A very strong feeling of being protected and of well-being flows through the imaginary woman. She describes this as a heavenly feeling in her report to the group after she has written down the imagination.

Then night falls. The stars twinkle as if in a spell. The sheep are sleeping. The great shepherd climbs the ladder to heaven. He goes to heaven and is on earth at the same time. Angels fly in the night sky, smiling at me. All of a sudden, the shepherd's staff becomes huge. It reaches up to the sky. And when I look closer, I discover that the rod is holding the globe that revolves around it. I see different continents and sheep everywhere. I feel intensely connected to the shepherd. I feel a feeling of security and home. I am at home near him.

Perhaps the language of inner images is the only one that allows members of different religions, cultures and therapeutic directions to really talk about their traditions and experiences and to agree on common steps in our often-divided world. Promising prospects could open up!

Literatur (German first, then English):

(1)  Malidoma Patrice Somé: Vom Geist Afrikas. Das Leben eines afrikanischen Schamanen, München

       2004. 

       Somé, M. P. (1999). The Healing Wisdom of Africa. New York: Penguin.

(2)  Uwe Böschemeyer: Unsere Tiefe ist hell. Wertimagination- ein Schlüssel zur inneren Welt, München

        2005. (No English translation available).

       Uwe Böschemeye: Gottesleuchten. Begegnungen mit dem unbewussten Gott in unserer Seele,

       München 2007. (No English translation available).

       Monika Meyer-Prentice (2013). Logotherapy and Imagery Work: The Contribution of Boeschemeyer’s   

       “Wertimagination.” Duren. Shaker.

(3)  Hans Carl Leuner / Eberhard Wilke: Katathym-Imaginative Psychotherapie, Stuttgart 2004.

        Ulrich Bahrke and Karin Nohr (2023). Katathym Imaginative Psychotherapy: Textbook of Working with

        Imaginations in Psychodynamic Psychotherapies. Heidelberg: Springer.

(4)  Klaus Lange: Herz was sagst du mir? Selbstvertrauen durch innere Erfahrungen, Stuttgart 2001.

        (No English translation available).

(5)  O. Carl Simonton: Wieder gesund werden. Eine Anleitung zur Aktivierung der Selbstheilungskräfte für  

       Krebspatienten und ihre Angehörigen, Hamburg 2007

Simonton, O. C., Creighton, J., Simonton, S. M. (2009). Getting Well Again: The Bestselling Classic   

 About the Simontons' Revolutionary Lifesaving Self-Awareness Techniques. United Kingdom: Random   

House Publishing Group.

       Jeanne Achterberg: Gedanken heilen. Die Kraft der Imagination. Grundlagen einer neuen Medizin,    

       Hamburg 2004

       I cannot find an exact match, but here is one to consider:

Achterberg, J. (2002). Imagery in Healing: Shamanism and Modern Medicine. United    States: Shambhala.

(6)  Luise Reddemann: Psychodynamisch-Imaginative Traumatherapie, Klett 2007

        Her only book in English is:

        Reddemann, L. (2020). Who You Were Before Trauma: The Healing Power of Imagination for Trauma

        Survivors. United States: The Experiment.

(7)  Brandon Bays: The Journey. Der Highway zur Seele, Berlin 2004

        Bays, B. (2012). The Journey: A Practical Guide to Healing Your Life and Setting Yourself Free. United

        States: Atria Books.

(8)  Susanna Lübcke/Anne Söller: Emotionalkörpertherapie. Ganzheitliche Heilung durch das liebevolle

        Annehmen aller Gefühle, München 2019

        Luebcke, S. (2010). Emotional Body Healing: Touches Your Heart Changes Your Life. United

        States: Xlibris US.

(9)  Armin Pfau (2003). „Zur Wahrnehmung innerer Bilder aus psychologischer Sicht,“ in Existenz un

        Logos, 2003, pp. 43-80.

(10)Horst Krohne: Organsprache-Therapie. Neue Methoden der Geistheilung, München 2006

         No books available in English.

(11)Stanislav Grof, Impossible - Wenn Unglaubliches passiert. Das Abenteuer außergewöhnlicher 

      Bewusstseinserfahrungen, München 2008

      Grof, S. (2009). When the Impossible Happens: Adventures in Non-Ordinary   

      Realities. Canada: ReadHowYouWant.com, Limited.

     © Dr. Ulrich Kusche, Göttingen 2024

Overcoming Angst: Gaining Trust and Courage

By Dr. Stephan Peeck
Institut für Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse Hamburg-Bergedorf, Germany

Translated by Tom Edmondson for meaninginministry.com

Translation note about the word “angst”: The German word angst is known and used by speakers of English. This is both helpful and unhelpful. In German angst ranges in meaning from “anxiety” to “fear.” In English we generally use the word angst to describe anxiety in an existential sense. For us, angst/anxiety is a fear of the unknown. The meaning of the word “fear” is more concrete. If I encounter a bear in the woods, I experience fear because I am afraid of the bear. But if I feel fear of something unknown, that is anxiety.

As used in this paper, the word angst carries the full range of meaning in German: fear and/or anxiety.  More often than not it means “fear,” but not always. For this reason, I have decided to leave it untranslated since choosing one over the other may detract from the nuance of meaning intended by Dr. Peeck. Therefore, I leave it to the reader to decide from context how to render the word angst. My hope is that the reader will find the “extra work” enlightening.

On Angst

Angst is probably one of the most central psychological problems that people have to deal with. In my 35 years of therapeutic work, I have seen time and again that at the bottom of the most diverse disorders, as well as many other psychological problems that cannot be immediately described as psychological disorders, there are ultimately two core issues: lack of self-esteem and angst. There are certainly other basic issues that plague people deep down, but the two phenomena just mentioned - angst and lack of self-esteem - seem to me to be the most significant. In recent years, I have been able to give lectures here on the subject of self-acceptance and self-rejection. This evening, the subject will be angst and its opposite poles: courage and trust.

 First of all, no one needs to be ashamed of their angst! All of us, without exception, are afraid. And anyone who thinks or says that they are not afraid should forget it, they are simply suffering from a certain lack of knowledge about themselves. Angst is a phenomenon that is an indispensable part of life; angst is an existential factor. We have always had it, currently have it, and will always have it throughout our lives. The key question is not how do I get rid of my angst, but rather, how can I deal with it so that it influences my life less in a negative way so that my trust courage in life become ever stronger.

 The Essence of Angst

First of all, I would like to circle a little around the nature of angst. As already mentioned, there is no such thing as an angst-free life. No progress, no matter what kind, can eliminate angst. The experience of angst is completely independent of the respective culture in which people live, completely independent of the level of a person’s development or even of their humanity. What certainly changes are the objects of angst, i.e. what a person is afraid of in each case. And the respective coping strategies with which people try to master their angst will also vary. But the angst itself remains. 

It is important to see that angst is by no means only negative. Angst, for example, has an important warning function for humans, it warns us of real dangers and motivates us to look for ways out. Angst also drives development in a wide variety of areas of life: it mobilizes forces when we really need them, angst makes us look for counterforces to angst, such as trust and courage, angst is also a challenge for inner maturation and personal development, etc.

But angst also has a very negative effect on us. It minimizes self-confidence, it impairs intellectual learning performance, it has an overall distorting effect on our perception of reality, it strongly blocks our curiosity and exploratory behavior, it prevents us from developing our full or even partial potential, it makes us feel much smaller and less capable than we really are. And angst is rampant! It likes to spread across more and more areas of life. At the end of our lives, we will certainly realize that we could have easily have saved ourselves from at least 80% of our angst. 

Masks of Angst

Each of us will know this: experiencing angst is always a holistic experience, it includes body, soul, spirit and also relationships with other people with whom we live; it is therefore expressed in all dimensions of human life. But not everyone will be aware of the "numerous counterfeits," as Kierkegaard once called them, behind which angst likes to hide. Angst is hidden behind many masks, so that sometimes we don't even recognize or notice the angst itself.

Typical physical masks can be heart-complaints of all kinds, shortness of breath, choking, sweating and perspiration, various gastrointestinal disorders, urge to urinate, sleep disorders, trembling, waking up at night, dizziness, dry mouth, high blood pressure and high blood sugar levels, a diffuse, general weakness, muscle tension and much more. 

In the psychological area, angst can hide behind a diffuse feeling of being constantly threatened, the constant lurking for danger, overvalued hedging tendencies, little ability to stand firm, a very strong need to lean or cling, flattery, need for fusion or strongly symbiotic needs. Angst can also be behind decision-making weakness, hidden claims to power or comfort. Continued worrying is also often a mask of angst, just like a very narrow, limited view of the world or narrow religious thinking and feeling. Angst can also be the central root for lovelessness, loneliness, isolation and hopelessness. Angst also likes to hide behind jealousy, great demands, envy, nervousness, restlessness, erratic and rapid fatigue. This list could certainly be continued much further. 

Typical of the Experience of Angst

It is also typical of the experience of angst that one tends to generalize: all people are bad, the whole of life is dangerous, you can't trust anyone, etc. In addition to generalizations, the anxious person often also suffers from a very distorted perception of reality: "I saw clearly in your look that you don't like me!" In reality, the other person had nothing against me.  

Often, people do not know the real name of the object of angst, so they do not know what they are actually and really afraid of. They then think that they are afraid of this or that, but in reality, they are afraid of something completely different. This is something typical of the angst dynamic: angst wafts away in the unconscious. It has long since detached itself from the events that once triggered it. Since people cannot really stand such a diffuse angst, the psyche has the tendency to turn this diffuse angst into a concrete angst of something.

For example, one client of mine was very afraid to go outside and even more afraid to leave the safety and comfort zone of the Hamburg city area. This zone was still somewhat familiar to her. But everything else seemed dangerous to her. In reality, she was just as little afraid as anyone else to leave Hamburg. In reality, as working with her showed, she had been very afraid of her very strict and sometimes brutal father in the past. And this angst then attached itself to something completely different, namely, going outside. The original angst of the father thus manifested itself in the form of agoraphobia.

Forms of Angst

The formal forms of angst are now very diverse. There is a diverse, normal experience of angst that people have to deal with in their everyday lives: the angst of the very exhausting day that will come tomorrow, the angst of a decision that you have to make, the angst of a necessary discussion with another person that is overdue, the anxious angst of whether the money will last until the end of the month, etc. These are all real angsts (concerns) that have no clinical value.

 In addition, there are also angsts that are pathological, i.e. indicate a mental disorder. These are, for example, panic attacks that can appear out of the blue; phobias of all kinds, such as the angst of being indoors (claustrophobia), the agoraphobia just mentioned, the angst of injections (this is probably the most common phobia), the phobia of certain animals (big or small), the angst of elevators, bridges and 1000 other things.

There are also social phobias, i.e. the overvalued angst of other people, or more precisely, of others of getting into an embarrassing situation; of attracting unpleasant attention; of embarrassing oneself or of being judged negatively; of blushing in front of them or even losing control over the excretory functions, of having to vomit, etc. After all, there is also such a thing as a generalized angst disorder. People who suffer from this suffer from constantly angst-filled thoughts, from constant angst for their own health and the health of people close to them, from constant anxious brooding with regard to private and professional situations, from constant worrying. The contents of these angsts are quite normal, the intensity of the constant angst is no longer normal. It's simply overvalued. 

Origins of Angst

But where does angst come from? There are very different findings and theories.

Angst can ultimately have its origin in physical causes. This aspect should never be overlooked. Not every angst problem has a psychological background. There are also physical causes of angst, such as vasovegetative and endocrinological regulation disorders, organ weaknesses or organic malfunctions can also trigger angst, such as malfunctions of the heart, thyroid gland, liver, spleen, inner ear, etc. These physical causes should always be clarified by a doctor.

Angst can also have its origin in early parent-child relationships. A child experiences that his real inner feelings, strivings, drives, wishes, thoughts, etc. are not wanted, but are punished. And so a fear of punishment, loss of love, violence, of being abandoned, of being separated, of being helplessly at the mercy of others, develops.

Angst can also have its origin in what can be called sanatorium families or fortress families. In such family settings a child is taught again and again that life is dangerous, one is overprotected, constantly protected from the evil world , or one is told that what happens here in the family is nobody's business out there in the evil world. We stay here completely among ourselves.

Of course, traumatic experiences can also lead to angst, which in the worst case can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder.

 Angst can also be based on a feeling of deep meaninglessness, in the angst of nothingness. Kierkegaard once called angst the vertigo of freedom. Freedom is always also freedom of choice. And I can also make wrong choices in decisions, and that makes you afraid. Angst can also ultimately be based on the angst of feeling inferior.

The simple fact that we are all finite beings with death at the end of our lives can also be a cause of angst.

The fact that in life we always become guilty of other people, of ourselves and of God, can also be a deep-seated cause of angst. 

Angst can ultimately also be based on what can be called the basic personality structure. This theory assumes that people are unique, individual beings on the one hand, but on the other hand they also have something like a basic personality pattern that is supra-individual and share it with other people. There is, for example, the psychoanalyst Fritz Riemann who distinguishes four basic patterns with the types of angst that go with them: the angst of devotion, the angst of self-realization, the angst of change, and the angst of necessity and finality. 

In this context, the Enneagram should also be mentioned, which distinguishes not four, but nine basic personality patterns. Here, too, certain basic angsts are assigned to each basic personality pattern: the angst of being judged, of being unloved, of being rejected, of being abandoned, of being threatened and overwhelmed, of being at the mercy of others, pain of having to subordinate oneself and angst of separation.

Angst can also be based on a lack of love, on a lack of "yes" to life. The more I say "yes" to life despite everything, the less angst will be able to rule me. The more I withdraw from life – denying life – the more I leave the direction in and over my life to angst, among other things.

The fact that none of us knows exactly who or what ultimately protects and carries and holds our lives can also be a deep-seated cause of angst. However, the deeper a person can believe that a good God holds his life in his hands on the basis of life, the less angst will be able to eat away at him. Yes, in short, angst can make us do anything that restricts, threatens, hurts or destroy our inner or outer living space. And as you can see, these can be very diverse things. 

Help with Angst

When it comes to aids with which we can counter our angst, it is worth briefly recalling what has already been said above. There is no such thing as an angst-free life. Any help against angst can only ever be about assigning angst the place it deserves: the place on the periphery of our lives and not in the middle of our existence. 

In my experience, in order to effectively counter angst, regardless of its kind and manifestation, it is important to counter it on a wide variety of levels: on the physical, psychological, mental/spiritual/spiritual and social level. It is also important to deal with it in both dimensions of the human being, in the conscious and in the unconscious. And it is important to meet it with recognition and action. And finally: you always have to weigh which are the means of choice and which means are not suitable to remedy angst. In particular, I mean that you have to see whether it makes sense, as they say, to deal with angst in an uncovering way, i.e. to uncover the causes of angst in addition to the counterforces that need to be mobilized, or whether it makes sense to concentrate primarily on strengthening the counterforces to angst. These are all considerations that must be made individually and anew in each individual case. In the following, I would like to develop a whole range of tried and tested aids against angst. 

Seek Medical and Pharmaceutical Help

Anyone who suffers from severe angst is strongly advised to consult a doctor or specialist, among other things they can do. This means either the family doctor, who may refer you to other doctors, such as an internist or a psychiatrist. I don't just say that, but I mean it very seriously. Whenever there are really stronger angsts, medical and, if necessary, medication help is a central component. If angst, as mentioned above, has a primarily physical cause, then you can try whatever you want with psychological and spiritual aids, but none of this will help, since the cause of the angst lies primarily in the physical area. 

But even if the cause of the angst is not primarily physical, but psychological, medical and pharmaceutical help can sometimes be indispensable. In order for psychological/spiritual help to be effective at all, a severely anxious person must first be able to calm down to such an extent that he or she is not only flooded and shaken by his angsts.

Two typical attitudes can sometimes get in the way of those affected. As an example of one attitude, an interlocutor of mine should be mentioned here. This woman was literally shaken by her angst. She sat at home for hours just shivering in her armchair, and when she came to me for a conversation, a deeper conversation was not possible because of all the trembling and crying and despair. My attempts to persuade her to visit a psychiatrist initially failed because of the following basic attitudes, which she expressed as follows: "I have to do it on my own." And: "If I take pills, then I become addicted to the stuff and I'm no longer myself." Both are bad postures. Some things you can't do alone, and medication is not always addictive. And they don't always alienate me from myself. On the contrary, they can certainly help me to be more myself than I ever was. After the client had made her way to the psychiatrist and had taken medication for a while, albeit quite reluctantly, her condition improved considerably, and real conversations could begin and also go into depth.

The other bad attitude regarding the doctor's visit and the possible intake of medication is the following: “The doctor will fix it; he should give me the right pill and then it will be fine.” No, the doctor will not fix it at all, he can only help me to fix it myself. And the pill alone won't fix it either. I can't avoid the inner work on myself, whatever it may look like now. 

Strengthen Motivation

Anyone who wants to overcome a more noteworthy inner problem needs a strong motivation to do so. C.G. Jung once said: "The human soul is inherently conservative. Only the sharpest need can frighten them." Unfortunately, this is true. Often, we live in our rut as long as we can still stand it somehow, until it is no longer possible. Often only then do we look for ways out. And that also applies to angst.

 However, if you are smart, you don't do this to yourself, but counter angst before it has driven you further and further into a corner. In other words, don't get used to angst! Don't just resign yourself to the tune: "That's just the way it is with me". The answer is: “No, that is not simply the case, but I will let it be that way – at least in part.”

The motivation to overcome angst can be strengthened, for example, by imagining what it would be like if angst determined my life less and less. How much freer and easier would my attitude to life be? How much more dilated and freer would my body, especially the stomach area, the heart, the solar plexus, feel comfortable then? How much better would I sleep at night? How much further would my everyday spaces of disposal probably be if angst didn't have such a grip on me? I could take the train again and just go anywhere, I would no longer hide from other people, but would face them as a matter of course and say and do what I want to say and do. The constant worrying about whatever would fade more and more into the background and joie de vivre would be more of a guest in my life again. My God, imagine that: instead of angst, to have joy in life again!

 And then it was worth remembering times when life was the way I imagine it. The important thing about both, coloring and remembering the good times, is that you make it as meaningful and emotional as possible, that you visualize it really deeply - and not just take a quick look at it in your mind. 

A dangerous enemy that could get in the way here, in addition to inertia, is resignation. "Don't kid yourself," it says, "yes, yes, I know, all these little psychological tricks; don't listen to this chatter, it doesn't help anyway. You see it – how long has angst been plaguing you? Well, you see, this has been going on for many years. You just have to live with it. That's how it is with you." 

Resignation is the premature, powerless and defiant abandonment of the search for meaning, and overcoming--or at least reducing--my angst problem is profoundly meaningful. Of course it is important to recognize your resignation and hopelessness and to express it: “It is also a part of me. But only a part.” That is why these questions are important in this context: “Is that really true? Is there only hopelessness and resignation in me, is there no other positive and constructive feeling left in me? Have I really given up completely?” 

A conversation partner of mine, who was physically healthy but still suffered from a massive angst that she could get cancer or already have it, answered these questions in the affirmative. "I've already done so much therapy - and yes, it has helped. But look where I stand since these stressful situations with father, my sister, and job loss due to Corona have taken me back. I'm back exactly where I was many years ago, constantly afraid of getting cancer. I still get on elevators and commuter trains, but only with really great angst. The panic attacks also start again. I'm slowly giving up!" Instead of arguing with her or talking to her, we went into the imagination, i.e. into the inner world of images or symbols, the world of the unconscious. 

We journeyed to the resigned Inge (her name) and the hopeful Inge. After a short relaxation exercise, I asked her to let her initial landscape come. It was a meadow with a large, strong, and healthy tree in the middle. She was quickly absorbed in the imagination, saw the tree and also the landscape around it. However, the weather was quite gloomy and stormy. I first asked her to send for the allied figures (inner allies) she knew. These were the inner healer and the inner lion. Both figures came, but unlike usual, she couldn't really feel their charisma.  

I instructed her to simply ask her inner self, her mind, to show her what is blocking the flow of energy from the healer and the lion to her, and it was not long before she appeared to herself. She was about the same age as she is today but looked like a castaway. What did this sight trigger in her, I asked her. Answer: deep shock and also deep sympathy. I asked her to go to herself and give this shipwrecked Inge what she needed. She comforted her for a long time. Then the healer and the lion came and gave her comfort. That took quite a while. Little by little, the weather began to brighten. Then I asked her to call the hopeful inner Inge. This was not long in coming, either. When she was near her, I asked the client to describe the charisma of this Inge. "Very relaxed and very confident," she said, and she didn't think of new hope and new courage, but she felt both. 

So we can draw motivational power when we dive into the depths of our unconscious. There it is true that we are more than just the feeling of resignation, for example. 

Seeking Counterforces to Angst

Imagine a river on which a ship sails. On the bottom of the river is a more or less large and sharp-edged reef. As long as the river now carries enough water, the ship does not care whether there is a reef on the bottom of the river or not. As long as the water level of the river is high enough, the ship sails over the spot with the reef completely unscathed and cheerful. The reef only becomes dangerous to the ship when the water level drops and is too low. 

And so it is with angst: it may be that there are many things at the bottom of our soul that frighten us and radiate a feeling of angst into our mind. But as long as we have strong counterforces against angst, we are on the safe side. 

But what are these opposing forces? In my opinion, the central counterforce to angst is trust. Of course, also courage – but I believe that trust is ultimately the reason to be able to be courageous. Only when I have sufficient confidence in life that everything will somehow go well, do I have the courage to dare to do things and move forward. In this context, by trust in life I mean the trust that “life” will meet me and will meet me despite all the adversities that I have encountered, that “life” will carry me through all of this and protect and carry and hold me despite everything.

But how can we gain such confidence in life? My answer may surprise you. We don't have to win this trust in the first place. Rather, it is already there in the depths of our minds. And this is not only the case for one person or the other, or only for those who grew up under happy living conditions. No, this basic trust in life is there in the depths of every human being, it is there. You don't have to laboriously bring it into a person. Rather, it is the case that people sometimes need help in bringing it out of themselves. In other words, people sometimes need help in unearthing the treasure of deep trust in life that is there deep in their unconscious, in being able to experience it, feel it and make it fruitful for their lives. 

Now, of course, one can object that what I am telling you here is pure dreaming and say that it probably misses the reality that many people experience every day. No, this is not blind idealism and by no means pure wishful thinking. It is the experience I have gained in 35 years of therapeutic work. To put it in the words of my old teacher Uwe Böschemeyer: "Our depths are bright."

 Note to reader: starting at this point Dr. Peeck begins to talk about “imaginations.” He is referring to a technique called wertorientierte imagination, which is a technique pioneered by Uwe Böschemeyer for taking a client consciously into their subconscious. Through this process, the client encounters their inner values as images and symbols. Whenever words like “imagine” and “imagination” refer to wertorientierte imagination, I will italicize the word to indicate this meaning. For more information on wertorientierte imagination, see other papers I have translated by Dr. Stephan Peeck and Dr. Heye Heyen, or read a book by Uwe Böschemeyer.

Of course, I am also aware that many disturbing layers can lie over this trust in life, which lies in our depths. Disruptive forces exist that can sometimes be so strong that a person can no longer penetrate to the forces present in his depths. But that doesn't change the fact that they are there. As I said, I don't just suck this certainty out of my fingers or have made it up from literature or myself at my desk. No, I have experienced it again and again in many tens of thousands of imaginations that I have done with people. And these were and are often people who have not had it easy in life so far.

I would like to illustrate with two examples. A woman suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder due to very significant trauma. As you can imagine, angst and panic attacks are an essential part of this problem. This was also the case with my client. We have been talking for a long time now, the curve of improvement, albeit with real ups and downs, is slowly, slowly going up. So far, we have done a lot of imaginations. In one of these imaginations, we wandered into the land of deep inner serenity and detachment. It lies on the water of the sea and allows itself to be carried by water. She feels the benefit of being carried and is also illuminated by the warming sun from above. She can relax relatively well, let go. Nevertheless, tension remains in body and mind. Then, all of a sudden, and without any further stimulation from me, she sinks into the depths of the sea.  

At first, I was not quite comfortable hearing this, because in the depth of the sea (i.e. in the depth of the unconscious) there are all kinds of things to be found: really good and also really frightening things. But I did not interrupt them, I just let it happen. After some time I asked her how she felt. Her answer was very brief: "Good," she said. I was reassured and asked her to just let the good experience happen. This went on for quite a while, then she also said very briefly: "It's enough." Then she came back and opened her eyes again.

In the follow-up conversation, she first apologized for her long silence and the brief words. And then something beautiful happened. She now told a little more eloquently what she had experienced there in the depths. She had slid deep down into a spring at the bottom of the sea. And being in this spring everything was only good. There was no pain, no angst, no restlessness, nothing, absolutely nothing, in the way of negative feelings, but only good ones: joy, lightness, peace, freedom – simply everything good! Every time we imagine, we wander anew to this source – and every time we experience the same thing: everything is good. This interlocutor can also imagine very well with herself alone and also wanders to this source at least once a day. And there, too, she experiences this deep inner peace again and again. 

How should we imagine the lasting effect of this experience? Here one must by no means fall into blind enthusiasm but rather keep things in perspective. With C.G. Jung, one could perhaps say: “In this source, the client encounters forces that are present in the collective unconscious, i.e. forces that can be found, as it were, in the human unconscious.” These forces, however, cannot be integrated into our conscious attitude to life in such a way that they would become habitus. They cannot be fully integrated. You have to visit them again and again.

 If I try to say it from a theological perspective, then I would say: “In such an experience, the divine radiates into the mind of the client. Through all the disturbing layers, she encounters the radiant and deeply loving world background, she encounters the love of God.”

 For their concrete lives, this does not mean that all angst is gone. However, it does mean that the angst, if it regularly visits this source, can spread much less in its everyday attitude to life.

A completely different example. A man who had quit his job of his own accord first received unemployment benefits. Now, however, time was slowly running out and unemployment benefits were moving dangerously close to running out. He had not yet found a new job. He was married, had two small children and was the sole breadwinner in the family. In short, it all depended on him.

 Angst began to take possession of him more and more. In an imagination we wandered to the figure of deep inner trust. After a longer relaxation exercise, he found himself lying on a lake. I asked him to just wait for the form of deep inner trust. But no figure came. Then, quite surprised, he felt that something was pushing under him from below. He lay on the lake with his arms outstretched and precisely adapted to his body shape, he perceived that a figure had pushed itself under him. He couldn't see it, but he felt that this figure was carrying him with very gentle force. He let himself be carried deeper and deeper, let go more and more and felt: “I am not sinking.” This experience touched him very much. This person did not imagine much with himself alone at home. However, the memory of this experience helped him again and again over many an angst-filled hour. And: pretty much at the last minute, before Hartz IV threatened to kick in, he found a new job.

A counterforce to angst is not only trust. We can journey to many other forces in the depths of our unconscious to counter angst. There is, for example, the inner lion, a symbol, i.e. a force field, of courage and vitality. When an imaginer encounters the inner lion, he often feels a lot of power and warmth that flows through him. One can journey into the land of deep inner hope and call the figure of hope there. These are often figures flooded with light who give the person feeling hope and confidence. Or, you can journey into the land of inner freedom. There, people often feel physically how the body sensation, which is narrowed by angst, is loosened and expanded. You can also call the good supporting hand. In it, people very often experience a feeling of deep inner security, a feeling of deep inner support in life.

 So that there are no misunderstandings: Imagining is not a miracle cure, but an intensive existential work. It is by no means enough to make two or three imaginations for a moment. Imaginative work is an intensive process that takes time to have an effect. When people ask me how long such a process takes, I answer, “Always longer rather than shorter.”

What am (or was) I Afraid of?

I said above that you have to decide anew from interlocutor to interlocutor whether you should primarily only strengthen or strengthen and uncover. The two examples just mentioned illustrated the strengthening work, i.e. the search for counterforces to angst. And in the case of the client with post-traumatic stress disorder, this was and is also the most sensible way.

 However, as far as the situation allows, it is always good to also work in an uncovering way, i.e. to ask: “Where does the angst in my life actually come from, what is its origin, what was I really afraid of once? What actual angst is behind my phobia or behind my panic attacks or my angst of whatever kind?”

 Here's another example. The woman I already mentioned briefly above in connection with an imagination for motivation, comes to the interview because of an angst of cancer. She was and is physically completely healthy, at least as far as cancer is concerned. There were and are no signs of an actual or an imminent illness. Nevertheless, she is literally eaten away at intervals by the angst that she might have cancer. Elevators and airplanes were and are not exactly her friends either. Her mother, however, had died of cancer. This affected her very much at the time. 

While telling her life story, it quickly became clear where her angst came from. She had grown up in a family in which she was only devalued and made small over and over again. Her father in particular has never been interested in her. On the contrary: he only circled around himself, around his ailments, his sufferings. And when something didn't suit him, he became short-tempered, angry, and threatening. As for mother, she had to be mothered rather than being a mother to her. In summary: she had learned in her childhood and adolescence that she was of no importance at all, her task in life is to serve others, to be there for others, to follow others under all circumstances, and nothing else. And that's what she did. In the family she had sacrificed herself for her sick mother. Again and again she had tried to please her father through docility and kindness. And to this day she takes care of her very sick sister far beyond her strength. 

What was she really afraid of? She was afraid of her father's devastating rage; she was afraid of being worth nothing; she was afraid of her massive self-aggression, which was gradually intensified in her by the devaluing experiences in the two first decades of her life by her family. But no, the self-aggression in her was not based on the experiences in the family. Self-aggressive forces are a primal phenomenon in life, each of us suffers from them. However, how strongly they can push themselves into the center of our self depends very much on the circumstances under which we grew up. And she was afraid of her very own desires, drives, feelings, precisely because she had experienced again and again that they count for nothing, that it is very threatening to give in to them. 

But what can be done about it? Doesn't it just make it worse by becoming aware of all this again? No, it doesn't – but always under the condition that the uncovering of the connections is justifiable for the respective person, that he is sufficiently stable to be able to endure it. It is helpful to understand these connections, to see through them. It is about a tangible awareness of how everything used to be – how it really was. It could be helpful here to let the images of father, mother and other essential caregivers come before your inner eye and then try to perceive calmly: 

·      What does father/mother radiate? What kind of atmosphere did father/mother spread at home: an atmosphere of well-being, freedom, joy, lightness or an atmosphere of angst, threat, narrowness, angst, constant worry, emptiness, etc.? Next it was worth asking: what must that have done to my young mind at that time? What traces has this left in me? And how did these traces run through my life? What have they done to me?      

It can then also be worthwhile to take the frightened child from back then very carefully in your imagination in your arms and simply give closeness and love to him/her. At that time, the child was at the mercy of all this alone. Today I am with him as an adult and can comfort him. And you could also start to ask yourself: “Is there really only angst in me when I look at this little frightened child? Isn’t there also anger, indignation, rage against those who have frightened this child so much?” If that is the case, it would certainly be worthwhile to let this anger become really big, to express it to oneself, to write it off one's soul, possibly even to express it very clearly directly to the caregivers from the past. 

Very often, however, there is resistance to really becoming aware of this outrage. Very quickly the objection comes: Father/mother also had their history, they didn't have it easy in life themselves, back then the times were completely different, etc. It is very important here to make it clear: the small child of that time did not care at all whether times were different than today, it did not matter at all whether father or mother also had a hard time. The child of that time has suffered. It finally wants to be seen and listened to in its suffering and its need due to the injustice that has befallen it. And it wants to be able to vent its anger and not be abandoned by me and silenced again. The others did that enough back then. Only after this has been sufficiently done, one can gladly let the situation of the parents of that time work on and understand them from the perspective of one's adult self.

 It is also good to look at oneself and ask oneself: "From when was it no longer fatefully necessary for me to bow to the pressure of my father and the angst of my mother again and again?" From what point on could I perhaps have mustered the courage to defend myself and, if necessary, to go into confrontation? If you then conclude: It was simply not possible for me to behave differently than I did at that time, then you should definitely be clear: 

·      Today I am an adult. Today I am no longer a child. Today I can behave differently than I did then. This is very important: in today's encounters with the people who instilled angst into my mind at that time, I should stand up clearly and distinctly, no longer meet them as afraid, but very, very clearly, and be who I really am, say what I really want to say.

To make it clear with the example of the client mentioned above: for her it was very important to no longer let her father order her around, not to let herself be carried away by his whining to false pity, not to let her sick sister make her feel guilty anymore, but to be able to see and maintain her own limits. In other words, feeling permission to live their very own lives and to actually do so was central to overcoming angst.

Now it may be that the illumination and processing of the origins of angst solely through the conversation conducted in consciousness ultimately only leads to the fact that one now knows more, but emotionally nothing changes. If this is the case, then it would also be good to descend deeper into the unconscious with the help of the imagination.

For example, you would journey to the wounded inner child. Such a wounded inner child often sits frightened and huddled in a corner. In contrast to the consciously conducted conversation, the imaginer experiences the misery of this child emotionally much more closely. It is then important for this child to lovingly turn to himself and with the help of the inner allies, such as the inner comforter, the inner lion, the inner healer, to take him comfortingly in his arms, to give him what he needs now that I am experiencing him. This often leads to very deep and emotionally strong experiences of being comforted, of being seen and understood, of being wanted and loved. And then you also call up the inner angry one, the inner border guard, the inner conflict-strong one and with these forces you approach once again, for example, the father who humiliated me and with the help of these forces you stand up straight before the father. As a rule, the father then first inflates to a huge size and then becomes smaller and smaller and finally disappears.  It is very touching to see what a deep inner liberation is triggered in the imaginative realm by this.

To prevent misunderstandings once again: this is not done with a few imaginations, it requires – depending on the strength of the angst – a whole series of imaginations, always connected with the conversations conducted entirely in consciousness.

Seek out Angst-provoking Situations and Do Not Avoid Them

Another help for coping with angst-triggering situations should be seek them out as far as is justifiable and cannot be avoided. This does not mean that one should seek angst, only that one should not avoid the angst-provoking situations when they occur, but to face them. It is good to be very clear about one thing: in a way, there is nothing more dangerous than constantly “playing it safe.” Of course, it is good to protect yourself against dangers in a sensible way, no question. But we often also protect ourselves in an overvalued way and that's unhealthy. Why? Because with every unnecessary hedge, you always carry angst around with you in your luggage instead of trusting.  

Overvalued security only seems to stabilize, in reality it stabilizes only one thing: angst. And since angst tends to proliferate, the person who secures himself in an overvalued way is gradually harassed a little more by his angst. Goethe already knew that. Goethe is said to have suffered from an angst of heights and is known to have liked to travel. He is said to have often climbed higher and higher towers, especially when the opportunity presented itself, to overcome this angst.

But even independently of Goethe, the following applies: if you feel uncomfortable in the presence of other people and easily develop angst there (i.e. have a more or less strong social phobia), you would do well to expose yourself to these situations. If you tend to put things off out of angst instead of tackling them, you would do well to tackle them. Anyone who is afraid to express themselves or express their opinion in the presence of other people should open their mouths and not remain silent. I myself, for example, used to be a very self-insecure person. I trained in the Hamburg subway in the morning ...

A conversation partner of mine was, among other things, afraid of flying and afraid of confined spaces. In a behavioral therapy she had once done, she was put – with her consent – in a really cramped cubicle for 30 minutes. She was told: “Please don't daydream away into another beautiful landscape, but stay mentally where you are in this narrow cabin.” The angst that came then was huge, but she endured it. And then it was all over. According to her own statement, this drastic treatment had really helped her. 

Of course, when it comes to stronger angst, such measures should not be taken alone, but under therapeutic supervision. And that alone will not help if you only try it this way. In that case it may well be that the angst only shifts to another object. You should combine this with the above-mentioned aids. 

Dereflection

The following can also help. People who suffer from panic attacks should concentrate on something completely different from angst when such an attack comes, as sensual as possible. Specifically, you could, for example, concentrate on the leaves of a tree and look very closely, but really very closely, to see whether all leaves are really the same green and distinguish the shades of green from each other. You can also feel the trunk with your fingers and count the bumps you feel. The same can be done with the bumps that are in a woodchip wallpaper or ... The crucial thing here is to direct the inner perception as much as possible to something other than angst.

A small example from practice: Ms. Ohl's story...... The whole thing is called dereflection.

It is not Just Feelings of Angst that Cause Anxious Thoughts

Of course, the feeling of angst also colors our thoughts. But the game also works the other way around. Constantly worrying and anxious thoughts also make anxious feelings. In order to show the angst within its limits, it is correspondingly helpful, gently but resolutely, to steer your thoughts away from all the worries you are constantly worrying about, from all the bad things that could happen, what dangers lurk everywhere, etc. However, directing away such thoughts alone is not enough, you have to direct them to something else. For example, you could always be aware of what has gone well today and also in my life as a whole, rather than what has gone wrong. One could ask which diseases have not only come, but which have also left. A doctor, for example, once told me quite casually that he – after he had seen and learned in his studies and practice what can go wrong in the body – that he was always amazed at what so often did not go wrong but went well! Instead of feeding yourself with new horror stories about all the bad things in the world, you could also go in search of the stories of life that tell of the fact that – even if it didn't look good – it went well: that I found a new job, for example, after a period of unemployment;  that although I no longer believed the fear; I found a new partner; that I passed the exam despite all my angst, etc.

Finding Meaning

In this context, I would like to remind you once again of the imaginations of the source deep on the seabed described above, in which one client immersed herself during the imagination, or of the figure of trust that pushed itself among the clients lying on the lake in an imagination. Such experiences strengthen in a person what could be called a non-specific hope. This refers to a basic hope that is not directed towards concrete things, but palpably hopes that in life--one can also say, in the hand of God,--I am deeply cared for, protected, and carried in my life. And those who feel such hope are much more willing to direct their thoughts not to the frightening, but to the successes in their lives.

 All these questions can be small impulses to find out what status the meaning barometer shows in my life: does it look ok or does it indicate that it is time to look for meaning in my life again? One thing is certain: the more meaningful my life is, the less angst can spread.    

I will summarize my presentation: 

There is no such thing as an angst-free life. So the decisive question is not how do I get angst out of life? Rather, it is, how can I live with angst in such a way that it affects my attitude to life less and less.

 Angst has good and negative effects on our lives.

Angst has very different manifestations.

Angst likes to hide behind very different masks.

 Angst distorts the perception of reality quite considerably. It minimizes self-confidence. 

There are very different theories about the origin of angsts

Aids to Overcoming Angst are:

Medical/pharmaceutical assistance

Strong motivation

Counterforces to angst

Uncovering the origin of My Angst

Not avoiding angst-inducing situations, but seeking them out

Practicing dereflection

Not only feelings of angst cause angst-filled thoughts, but the game also works the other way around

Finding meaning.

Logotherapy Can Do More

By Dr. Stephan Peeck 

Institut für Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse Hamburg-Bergedorf, Germany

Translated by Tom Edmondson for Meaning in Ministry: Logotherapy with Pastoral Care

Translation notes:

1. In this English translation I have attempted to be faithful to Viktor Frankl’s insistence that the English word “spiritual” has religious connotations not present in the German word Geist. In most instances I have rendered Dr. Peeck’s use of Geist as noëtic (Frankl’s chosen term from the Greek, νοῦς/νοöς), with the corresponding inflected forms, noögenic, and noölogical. I have made an exception, however, when the English calls for the word “spirituality.” In this case I have decided that the word “spirituality” is acceptable because it is becoming more and more the case that a clear distinction is drawn between the words “spirituality” and “religion.”  Many people today identify as spiritual but not religious. A person, such as an atheist or agnostic, can also be spiritual without being religious.

2. The word “imagination” in the German term wertorientierte imagination has a unique meaning. It does not refer to a faculty of the mind or a fantasy. Rather, it refers to a technique of bringing a conscious client into their subconscious and waiting/watching for the images that the subconscious produces. The client does not produce the images, rather, the images appear on their own. Wertorientierte imagination is a technique that was developed by Uwe Böschemeyer, a student of Viktor Frankl. It is widely practiced in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland, but practically unknown outside of the German speaking world. In this paper I have chosen to stay with the usual rendering of the term into English as Value-oriented Imagination with italics to indicate to the reader that it is a technical term with a proprietary meaning.
   

Logotherapy is More Than Just a Guide to Meaning

Logotherapy is sometimes understood merely as a complement to psychotherapy. Again and again, at least in Germany, it is heard from colleagues that Logotherapy is primarily applies to the field of prophylaxis, and in the therapeutic context only for very specific, clearly defined indications. [It is characterized in the following way]: Logotherapy as a specific form of therapy should be used, for example, in the case of an existential vacuum or its pathological form, i.e. in the case of noögenic depression. Logotherapy is also a specific therapy for dealing with an irreversible fate and is also suitable for the avoidance of so-called iatrogenic neurosis, i.e. a neurosis that is based on the fact that a doctor or psychologist encounters a person from a reductive image of the human being and understands the interlocutor only as a psychophysicum and accordingly does not include the noëtic dimension in the conversation or treatment. Otherwise, Logotherapy is rather a non-specific form of therapy, which can be included in psychotherapy if necessary.

In my opinion, this understanding of logotherapy is far too one-sided, too limited, and too reductive. Logotherapy can do more and it is more. It is by no means only responsible for the above-mentioned very limited range of indications. Rather, it is a completely independent form of therapeutic work with people that can be applied to all possible problem areas, e.g. for people with depression, fears, addictions, compulsions, psychosomatic disorders, suicidal hazards, traumatic experiences and much more. In all of this, Logotherapy is – as already mentioned – not just a supplementary measure in the context of other psychotherapeutic procedures, but an original, independent therapy.

Frankl himself writes in one of his books: Logotherapy not only recognizes the causes (the conditions) of a mental disorder, but it also recognizes the true causes of such a disorder. And this true cause of a disorder is the noëtic person who takes a stand on all the causes (conditions).  However, if Logotherapy recognizes not only the causes of disorders, but also their true causes, then it is also a causal therapy for all possible disorders. So much for Frankl.

Concretely: the real reason, for example, of an obsessive-compulsive neurosis is ultimately not an overly strict parental home, which then manifests itself later as an overly strict superego in the obsessive-compulsive ill person, which in turn is then significantly involved in the coercive event, among other things. No, the real cause of obsessive-compulsive neurosis is ultimately the inner noëtic person, who comments on all the internalized influences (conditions). And – it may be added – the real reason for such a disturbance lies altogether in a lack of access to the positive, life-sustaining noëtic forces, such as goodness, freedom, etc. All these noëtic powers are indestructibly part of every human life. However, they can be heavily buried or very blocked.

A few years ago I organized a Logotherapeutic training course in Breklum (which is located in northern Germany) at a psychosomatic clinic with some psychiatrists and psychologists. The psychiatric chief physician of this clinic at the time, who took part in the training, summed up his opinion on the relationship between psychotherapy and logotherapy as follows. He asked: "What actually has to be integrated into what: Does logotherapy have to be integrated into psychotherapy – or is it not rather the case that psychotherapy must be integrated into Logotherapy?" He was of the opinion that psychotherapy had to be integrated into Logotherapy. And he justified his opinion as follows: Logotherapy is richer and wider than psychotherapy by a whole dimension, namely the noëtic dimension. Therefore, it is only logical that Logotherapy integrates psychotherapy and not the other way around. He even went a step further in his statement. He not only saw Logotherapy as an independent, fully comprehensive form of therapy, but he even postulated in a certain way a leading position for Logotherapy in psychotherapy as a whole.

This is now the basic concern of my lecture: I would like to unfold for you my understanding of Logotherapy as an independent form of psychotherapy, an understanding of Logotherapy that does not see it as a mere supplement or appendage of psychotherapy, but as a form of therapy that, with the integration of various elements from psychotherapy, is responsible for the entire spectrum of mental disorders. In the following I would like to unfold the basic outlines elements of such a Logotherapy as vividly and practically as possible.

The Center of Logotherapeutic Work is the Perceived Awareness of the Forces of the Noëtic Unconscious

At the center of Existential Analysis’s anthropology is the phenomenon of nous (Geist). In doing so, Frankl once again differentiates between conscious and unconscious spirituality and relates the two as follows. The source and root layer of all conscious spirituality is the unconscious nous. The core of the existential analytical image of man is thus – to put it more precisely –"unconscious spirituality". All noëtic phenomena such as freedom, responsibility, love, hope, trust, courage, the genuine personal conscience, the knowledge of the security of life in God (one could also say: religiosity), creativity, intuition and many more are ultimately based in the depth of the noëtic unconscious and from here – more in the case of some and less – rise into consciousness.

If, however, the center of Existential Analysis’s anthropology is unconscious spirituality, then it is entirely logical that the help for the felt awareness of the unconscious noëtic forces must be the center of Logotherapeutic work. The proprium of this direction of therapy will therefore have to consist precisely in this: to help the suffering and help-seeking person to feel and experience his unconscious noëtic powers as deeply as possible, and to help him to make these forces fruitful for his everyday life. With great regularity in my therapeutic work, I experience that the "turn for the better" in the conversations is centrally related to the experience of these unconscious noëtic forces.

The Value Imagination as a Way of Access to the Noëtic Unconscious

In practice, however, one is now immediately faced with the question: "How does this work, this felt awareness of the unconscious noëtic powers? How does it work in concrete terms?” Since the unconscious noëtic forces are naturally forces that reside in the unconscious, all paths that move solely on the noëtic-based and rational level will not help.

To put it another way, appeals such as, "You are a free person, you just have to seize it," or rapturous and emphatic speeches about the inescapability of inner freedom and the meaningfulness of life, or even argumentative interventions in which it is explained to the interlocutor why he does not have to be afraid but can be courageous -- all this does not help much in a therapeutic process. The interlocutor's response to such interventions is usually, "Yes, yes, I know that I could be free, and I know that I don't have to be afraid, but I still have it." Approaches in conversation that ultimately remain in the rational-cognitive realm do not go deep enough--at least not in my experience.

How, then, can one touch the unconscious noëtic forces in the depths through conversation in such a way that a person really begins to experience them during the conversation?

I have been working on this since the beginning of the 90s with the "Value-oriented Imagination" originally developed by Uwe Böschemeyer. From a methodological point of view, the Value-oriented Imagination is my best horse in the stable, so to speak. It is a procedure with the help of which an interlocutor can penetrate far into his unconscious depths and tangibly experience the energies that are available here.

What are Value Imaginations?

Before I get specific, I want to briefly explain what Value-oriented Imaginations are. The Value-oriented Imagination is about a deep immersion into the inner images, or rather, into the inner world of symbols. These images, or symbols, are in no way merely imagined or fantasized images. Value-oriented Imaginations are therefore not fantasy journeys. Rather, it is about the fact that an interlocutor waits in a state of relative relaxation for the inner world of symbols to begin to unfold in his inner eye on their own. These symbols are by no means just images, they are inner energies captured in the form of a picture, inner emotional powers; they are energetic images. At the same time, they transport the forces of which the picture speaks into the conscious attitude of life.

During a Value-oriented Imagination the interlocutor closes his eyes and keeps them closed throughout the experience. Both therapist and client remain in conversation during the imagination, i.e. the client briefly tells what he sees, and the therapist suggests what he can do. As long as an imagining client can let himself fall deep enough into the imagination, he experiences the whole thing up close, as if he were actually in the action (similar to the case in dreams). Before you start imagining values, you agree with your interlocutor on a destination to which you would like to explore.

Case study 1: Anxiety and panic attacks

But what does the whole thing look like in concrete terms? I exemplify various problem areas. I'm thinking of a woman, about 40 years old, working in management consulting. She comes because of a massive anxiety and panic disorder. More and more often she was plagued with panic attacks, she trembles, becomes paralyzed by anxiety, has seizures, then has to find a toilet within a few seconds, etc. On the one hand, the background to this problem is massive experiences of violence in the parental home. Additionally, she had been used for child pornography. Her grandfather would pick her up often as a child and drive her out into the country to a certain house, where she had to undress in a small room and play naked with toys. Then men came and touched her. Even today, she can't stand it when her husband just wants to caress her tenderly.

Of course, we didn't start with the imaginations right away in this series of conversations. It took a long time before this was even possible. But then we started. Here I shall describe an exemplary imagination that initiated a change for the better.

After the relaxation phase, the client sees a jungle (a symbol for the deep unconscious). She sees it far from above (she still keeps her distance from her depth). I ask her to let her inner feet get heavier and let themselves slide down into the forest very gently. She complies. Then she lands down in the woods. After a short time, threatening feelings creep up on her in an undifferentiated way. I ask her to place her inner feet firmly on the inner ground and to straighten herself up inwardly (she takes a stand on her fear through this symbolic action, she distances herself from her fear, we try to mobilize the person taking a stand). The fear remains, but it is easier to bear after a while. I ask the client to call on the good inner light for help. Nothing happens for a long time. She breathes loudly and tries to withstand the fear. Then she says: "There's something coming..." Silence. "It's getting closer". Silence. I want to know what is coming. It takes time for her to respond. Then she says, "It's something shining, like a rainbow." What does the light radiate, I ask her. Silence, then: "It makes me calmer." (So she doesn't answer the question about radiation but describes the effect of radiation right away). I ask her to stretch out her inner hands to this luminous one (i.e., she aligns herself with something other than her fear, she transcends herself towards the luminous). Again a long silence. Then she says, "The light begins to envelop me, it envelops me." I ask her how it feels to her. After a while, she says, "Sure, I feel safe."  Silence, she doesn't think about security now, she feels and experiences it. I suggest to her that she ask the light to simply flow and flush through her mind and body. She shouldn't even ask how it works, but just let it happen. It happens, her breathing becomes easier and freer. How she feels, I ask her: "It's like a cleansing – I'm becoming wide and free..." She remains in this experience for a long time. Then she comes back.

What happened in this imagination? The client is first deeply immersed in her unconscious (jungle). That's when the fear came. The inner person takes a stand against fear by straightening up the client internally. So she doesn't put up with everything from her fear. Then she aligns herself with the good inner light. This is where the intentionality of the mind comes into play: it aligns itself with a value. This value then comes to her in a luminous form. But what is this value? She describes the light as a rainbow. The rainbow is, after all, a deeply religious symbol. It stands for God's peace with man, it stands for God's love. The client thus experiences a symbol that can be assigned to the sphere of the spiritual unconscious. She experiences first-hand what Frankl describes in his book: "The Unconscious God." There, Frankl says in essence that every human being has a relationship with God, no matter how unconscious it may be. This woman did not consider herself religious in her consciousness. And of course, in the context of Logotherapy, it is not permitted to proselytize a person. Therapy is not a mission and does not involve stealing souls. Rather, it is about the client experiencing the energy contained in this symbol as deeply as possible because this energy has a healing effect. For her, imaginations like these caused anxiety and panic attacks to dissolve more and more into pleasure. For a long time now, these attacks have not played a role for her.

Case study 2: Burn-out Syndrome (exhaustion depression)

I'm thinking of a woman in her early 40s, living alone. In the past, she had already completed a lengthy depth psychological therapy for anorexia nervosa. She had overcome this problem. She comes to this interview because she feels chronically exhausted, empty, powerless, and tired. The stresses and strains at work (shift work at the same time on different screens) are getting her down, privately she had built a small house for herself, whereby the associated trouble with the construction company had literally drained her strength. Living alone without a partner also bothered her, as well as the question: Where should I go professionally in the future? At the time, she was working a job far below her level, which made her feel quite meaningless.

Again, I just want to present a distillation of a journey into the unconscious taken from a longer series of conversations that was typical of the recovery process. It is an imagination to the inner healer (this is a symbol of a person's self-healing powers).

After a short period of relaxation, the client finds herself on a beach. She lets herself fall deeper and deeper until she feels like she's really there. She feels the sand under her feet, the warm air, the sea washing softly and calmly on the beach. 

Then the weather starts to change. It becomes cloudy, the heat disappears. I ask the client to ask her mind to bring up the inner healer. But he doesn't come. Instead, it gets darker and darker on the beach and a kind of mythical creature appears: a primeval bird with iron claws on its feet and an extremely pointed beak (symbol of the self-aggressive powers). This primeval bird radiates an extreme threat, making her downright afraid of annihilation. She feels that she is shrinking and getting smaller and smaller. Again, I ask her to stand up straight in the face of this monster (personal statement towards these destructive inner forces). She tries but she doesn't quite succeed. 

I ask her to turn around 180 degrees in the other direction as best she can. She succeeds with great effort. I asked her to wait again for the inner healer to come from there. Nothing happens for a long time. Then, very faintly, a figure begins to appear. After a long silence, she says: “This is a woman, completely unknown to me.” I direct her focus to this woman and ask her to come closer (intentionality of mind, alignment with a value). Very slowly, this succeeds. She now directs her inner attention to this female figure and describes it: “She is brightly dressed and somehow full of light and completely unknown and looks timeless (this figure is a force field, which in turn can be assigned to the spiritual unconscious).” I want to know what this figure radiates. "A lot of warmth, a lot of love..." Then she falls silent and begins to cry. I want to know what those tears are. "It's like a release from this pressure," she says – referring to the pressure that came from the primeval bird on the one hand and all the pressure from her everyday life. 

For a long time she stands in front of the female figure. In her breathing, posture, facial expressions and gestures you can literally see how she straightens up inwardly and becomes freer, how the energy of this figure moves into her and spreads. After a long time, I ask her to turn back to the primordial bird, but with the inner healer at her side. This animal is still very threatening and are getting bigger and bigger. I tell her to ask the healer to put a hand on her back and the two of them together stand up straight in front of this bird. The healer is completely relaxed, the client is still tense. After a long trial of testing its strength, the primeval bird begins to flag, shrinks, becomes smaller and smaller, and moves away. 

On her own, the client could not cope with the destructive elemental force of this bird. It was simply not possible to make a personal statement. Supported by the forces of the spiritual unconscious, however, she was able to hold her own against these destructive energies. They withdrew. The client stays on the beach for a long time, bright sunlight, and warmth flood over her. Then she comes back from the imagination.

Case study 3: Psychosomatics

A young woman, whose mother had died some time ago comes to talk. A short time after her mother's death, she felt a lump in her chest that just wouldn't go away. She was sure that this lump was related to the death of her mother and the mourning over her.

Now, in the imagination, one can also wander into the body. First, we did a little relaxation exercise again and then I asked the client without asking how it works, to just look into this lump. It took some time and then she saw her mother's death room. Her mother lay dead on the bed, the atmosphere in the room dark and sad. Then, without having called her, an older female figure, completely unknown to her, appeared. She radiated wisdom, kindness, and comfort (all emotional forces that can be attributed to the spiritual unconscious). I ask the client to focus only on this old wise woman (focus on a value, intentionality of the mind) and let her take the reins. Then the following story happened.

The old wise woman takes the mother, who is suddenly alive again, and the client by the hand. Then she leads them through a very long dark corridor, at the end of which is a fireproof, heavy iron door. The old wise woman opens that door. Behind it, it is bright white. The client intuitively feels: I'm not going to go through this. Then, piece by piece, a bridge is formed out of the white; a white bridge. This bridge leads into a beautiful, light, free, green country. The mother detaches herself from the hand of the old wise woman and, without turning back, walks lightly, freely, and joyfully across the bridge into this country. Then the old wise woman literally slams the door shut again, looks at the client and leads her back to the dying room. There, all heaviness has given way to a friendly, bright atmosphere. Then the client comes back from the imagination.

Not long after this imagination, the lump of grief in the client's breast disappeared permanently. What had happened in the imagination? In the form of the old wise woman, the client has again encountered the forces of her spiritual unconscious: forces of kindness and wisdom. One could also say that the client encountered forces of the wisdom unconscious, forces in their depths that know much more about life and death than consciousness. Not coming to her from the outside, but coming from within, her own unconscious tells her where life goes in death. It's not going into a big black hole, but into a free, completely new country. Here, too, it is not a matter of indoctrinating a person in an ideological way about a possible life after death. Rather, it is about the client experiencing these wisdom powers of her noëtic unconscious as tangibly as possible. What she then makes of it ideologically in her consciousness is her business and is only explicitly addressed if she expressly wishes it. Only then should it be made an issue.

Summary

I could give many other examples from imaginative work with a wide variety of problem areas, e.g. with suicidal, obsessive-compulsive disorder, addicted people, and many other problems. Unfortunately, this is not possible within our timeframe.

Let me recap what I wanted to show you with these three small, very simple examples. In all three cases – as in many other cases – the decisive factor for overcoming the problems with great regularity was the deep emotional, conscious experience of the powers of the noëtic unconscious by means of a Value-oriented Imagination. This regularly brought the "turnaround" into the conversation.

The following elements are substantial components of the imaginative process: The intentionality of the mind is addressed. This is, for example, the orientation towards a certain goal in the imagination. It is also important to take a personal stance on the phenomena that arise, for example, straightening up in the face of the feeling of fear. This is equivalent to self-distancing. The alignment with a value figure (such as the healer) corresponds to self-transcendence, i.e. the alignment with a value other than fear. And finally, it is important that the person taking the position is supported by the supra-individual, unsurpassably strong collective forces of the noëtic unconscious in their attitude towards the destructive, unhealthy energies. Left to its own devices, the inner person is sometimes overwhelmed by this. Sometimes the destructive energies are simply too strong for that.

Far beyond these three small examples, one can now let other noëtic feelings come as value figures in the Value-oriented Imagination: goodness, freedom, love, joy, hope, the supporting reason for life (i.e. the good supporting hand) and many more. Basically, in this way you can let any anthropologically relevant feeling come as a form and thus feel and experience it in a very dense way.

It goes without saying that healing or a change for the better does not happen through one or two Value-oriented Imaginations, but usually through a multitude of them within a series of conversations. And of course, it goes without saying that in the context of a series of conversations, you don't just imagine. However, in my experience, a Value-oriented Imagination is the deepest, most immediate, and therefore easiest way to make the powers of the spiritual unconscious tangible.

The Processing of Resistance

Now one can ask whether the imaginative immersion into the world of the noëtic unconscious is really so easy. Is it really true that – especially with mentally disturbed people – they just have to go to the imagination to experience all these wonderful powers that we have just mentioned? Obviously, it's not that simple.

As a rule, in the imaginative process with mentally disturbed people – just as with mentally healthy people – there is always resistance; with some more, others less. How do these resistances become visible on an imaginative level? As shown in one of the examples above, they also appear in symbolic form, i.e. also in picture form, whereby these images are also anything but mere images. They are also inner forces captured in the picture. What do these images look like? For example, as shown above, there are mythical monsters, dragons, nasty spiders, sneering witches, brutal robbers and much more. Symbols of this kind come, in the words of C.G. Jung, from the collective unconscious. In other words, there are obviously negative energies in the depths of the unconscious that can no longer be derived from life history, but that are common to all people. Likewise, there are resistances that come from a person's life story. They appear, for example, in the form of the wounded inner child who sits huddled together in the corner of a dark cave, in parental figures radiating threat, etc.

The concrete work now shows that there is often no real progress without paying heed to these resistances. The contact with the positive unconscious noëtic forces does not really come about sustainably if one simply ignores the resistances.

I will briefly exemplify using the example of the wounded inner child. Again and again, this symbol appears in imaginations and reflects old life-history injuries that negatively influence one’s current attitude to life. I think of a client who suffered from the fact that she often woke up suddenly and drenched in sweat at night with a racing pulse. She had spent her childhood and adolescence in a rather neglected home, with her parents drinking a lot.

It is true that all attempts to journey with her to the positive forces of the noëtic unconscious did not fail. She came into contact with these forces, but there was no lasting effect. The symptom didn't want to go away. Then, in an imagination, we let the inner healer (power of the spiritual unconscious) come and give her an assignment. He would lead the client from where she was being roused from sleep. He immediately set off, dragging the client behind him in a frenzied hurry, until both were standing in a winter landscape in front of a frozen lake (lake = symbol for myself). The healer indicated to the client that he wanted to dive down to the bottom of the lake with her. The client was terrified of it but agreed (personal statement on fear). 

They went down into dizzying black depths. Arriving at the bottom of the lake, she suddenly found herself in her parents' house. Then she saw a little girl sitting under the sofa in the living room. What was particularly striking about this girl was the wildly protruding red hair. The closer she gets to the girl, the more she feels her incredible anger (the red hair already indicated this anger). At my suggestion, she asks the girl if she wants to show her anything. Then the girl comes out from under the sofa and points angrily and resignedly at the same time to the completely chaotic-looking apartment of her parents.  I ask her to allow this girl to let herself run free. And then the redeeming thing happened: the little girl finally let go of her anger. In an enormous outburst she smashed the furniture. After this outburst of anger one could no longer speak of a furnished apartment. 

Then the picture changed. The healer and an exhausted but very relaxed girl sat on the beach. The healer smiled at both her and the girl lovingly and kindly, as if to finally say, “well done.” A short time later, the startling nocturnal attacks disappeared and have not reappeared to this day. The series of talks was at least four or five years ago. As far as I know, she is still fine.

Perhaps, because it is so beautifully illustrative, I will add another, very short example, from the very early days of my work. A severely depressed woman comes to talk. She had a so-called psychogenic depression, i.e. a depression that had been laid down in childhood. She was a teacher, but in the meantime, she was unable to work and took early retirement. After she had complained to me about her suffering during the first few hours, I now wanted to work with her Logotherapeutically towards the so-called positive, i.e. looking for new meaning and supporting values that should help her out of the depression. I announced this plan to her at the end of an hour and then the next hour came. She opened the conversation by telling a dream she had after the last lesson. It went like this: I built a new house together with her on a huge mountain of garbage. A very tender green lawn sprouted out of the ground, and we built a kind of wooden frame house. The wood looked really good and smelled like wood. So everything was good. Except for one small detail. Near the house, one arm protruded from the pile of garbage, just one arm. She still thought in her dreams: Oh dear, there is still a corpse buried. That was the dream.

The interpretation was clear to both of us very quickly: You don't build new houses on mountains of rubbish. First of all, it is necessary to take care of the inner psychic garbage of this woman, to work on the so-called corpses in the basement. Only then will the new house be built. So this dream was a correction for my rather daring announcement at the end of the previous hour that we have to get to the positive straight away.

What do I want to show with these examples? I would like to make it clear that Logotherapy cannot dispense with resistance and coming to terms with the past work either. Both must not be banished from Logotherapy but must have their place in it. As long as it can be done without this work, it is of course all well and good. Then, of course, one should not pay much attention to the resistances and old wounds. In the case of mentally disturbed people, however, resistance always plays a significant role and must therefore be included in the work.

Specifically, the old pain, the sadness, the anger, the resignation, the old fear, and other things must also be allowed to come to the surface. And there has to be room to talk about all this, to understand it in its contexts of origin and effects. In this case, Logotherapy basically engages in psychotherapy, if that means that it helps the client to illuminate and understand psychodynamic relationships.

And even in the case of mentally healthy people who only want to do prophylactic work with themselves, I think it makes sense to at least keep an eye on the resistance area, as the resistance is also noticeable over and over. Many a person who must by no means be classified in the pathological area, can otherwise easily become a victim of e.g. his will to power without the confrontation with his shadow area and thus thoroughly harass himself and others. Logotherapists are not immune to this either.

In summary: In my 27 years of logotherapeutic work thus far, my experience is that healing or alleviation of psychological problems does not come solely by analyzing the problem more deeply and thoroughly and by working more and more to uncover the problem. In order for a person to experience healing or alleviation of mental disorders, something new must be added to the old. And this novelty is, at its core, the conscious, felt experience of the forces of the noëtic unconscious. However, at least in the therapeutic area, healing is often not possible without dealing with resistance. I have found the formula for myself here: As much alignment with the forces of the noëtic unconscious as possible and as much resistance work as necessary. Exactly what this relationship looks like will vary from person to person. Here it is important to respect the uniqueness and singularity of the human being.

Logotherapeutic Dream Work

Another method is Logotherapeutic dream work. It has a closeness to Value-oriented Imagination work. The closeness results from the fact that both imagination symbols and dream symbols come from the same source, namely, the unconscious. In contrast to the Value-oriented Imagination, however, a person cannot consciously influence what is happening in a dream, because he is in a deep sleep. This does not mean, however, that the noëtic person is not active here. It is active, but deep in its unconscious roots. Of course, Logotherapeutic dream work makes use of all the knowledge that exists in dream interpretation. Its specificity, however, lies in the fact that it looks at dreams with a particular regard to phenomena of the nous. Here are a few brief examples.

In a dream, a person with a severe obsessive-compulsive disorder finds himself in a cemetery on a pitch-black night. He crouches behind a tombstone. Then he can't believe his eyes. In the middle of the cemetery, a light event suddenly appears. And then this person experiences the resurrection of Jesus in his dream. Even in his dreams, he hears himself say: Then the whole thing is true after all.

Here, again, the unconscious noëtic dimension comes to the fore and tells this person about the deep, comforting connections of life. However, since this person adhered to a fervent atheistic belief, he did not attach any importance to this dream and the dream could not really unfold its effect.

It's different with another man. He was seriously ill with cancer and was heading for major professional bankruptcy. He dreams that he is climbing a hill. From the other side, he is met by his worst enemy, who has driven him into bankruptcy. The weather is stormy, rainy, and cloudy. Just before they meet at the top of the hill, the sky starts to glow. Then the dreamer sees a very loving and comforting look from the face of Mary. He feels deeply secure and comforted. For him, this dream had great meaning. His fear and worries were not gone, not at all. But, in spite of everything, he felt wonderfully protected by good powers.

Another example: A woman dreams that she is in the house where she lives. Everything is the same as usual. Only on one wall there is something different than in reality. There's a door in the wall that isn't usually there. Curious, she opens this door and is amazed. Behind the door, the house continues. And there is a beautiful, wide room, sun-drenched – but not yet further furnished. Even in her dream, she thinks: you absolutely have to use this room. The interpretation is obvious. The dream wants to tell her: new possibilities of meaning are waiting for you, beautiful wide interiors that have not yet been used, please enter them, and use them. What it meant in concrete terms had to be worked out in conversation.

And finally, a woman who was very successful in her career asked herself, “Should I continue on my professional path as before or should I do something else?” Then she dreams that a long line of cars is driving slowly up a rising mountain. And then they slowly descend again on the sloping side. Only a few cars swerved out of the convoy and drove cross-country. Somehow, she was fascinated by these swerving cars. In this dream, her deep inner conscience speaks to her (again a phenomenon of unconscious spirituality) and shows her what is meaningful to her in the coming years and what is not: she should deviate from the career path and go new ways.

Just as with the Value-oriented Imagination work, the same applies to the dream-work: as far as possible, in the conversation about the dreams, it is necessary to go into the noëtic potentials that the dream flushes to the surface. However, as far as necessary, the resistances that become visible in dreams must also be addressed and dealt with.

Work in the Unconscious Realm Must be Linked to Work in the Conscious Realm

In order to counteract the impression that Logotherapy, as I understand it, is only about working with the unconscious area, I would like to point out that I do not just imagine or talk about dreams with my interlocutors. Imagining must always be closely linked to the conversation conducted entirely in consciousness. If you only imagine, then there is a danger that a parallel world to normal everyday life will build up, as it were. One world would then be the wondrous world of imagination and the other world would be the real outside world in which the client spends most of his time. This must be avoided at all costs.

The effect of imaginations is primarily that the imaginations continue to have an effect underground. It opens up – not through a single imagination – but very much through a series of imaginations, the channel from the spiritual unconscious to the conscious opens up a little more. In this way, the life-sustaining spiritual emotional forces are deposited a little more on the ground of the conscious feeling for life and are always a little more available to the client, even without him having to think about the imagination again and again after the lesson.

Nevertheless, it is very important to talk to the interlocutor in a very concrete way about how what he has experienced in his imagination can be translated into his everyday life. So if he encounters the figure of deep inner trust in his imagination and is deeply touched by this encounter, it is very important to talk to him now about what it would mean in concrete terms to risk more trust in his everyday life than before. And then he has to do it! Imagination alone will not change anything. It always requires taking action. For example, he must also dare to make decisions and implement them, i.e. to do them. Or he has to dare to get involved with another person in a truly loving way instead of retreating again and again into his schizoid shell.

Experience now shows that a client, even if he has had a wonderful, profound experience with trust in his imagination, can by no means approach life with confidence in his real everyday life. On the contrary, often when it comes to the acid test, he first feels the old fear, the well-known mistrust, etc., again. And then, at least cognitively remembering the imagination, he just has to dare. He has to dare to try the new, whatever it may be in detail, even without the emotional backing that he has experienced in the imagination. When the two come together: the good experiences in the inner world with the real daring new action in the outer world, then the work moves forward. Then, in the long run, one works from the inside out and the other from the outside in. And that makes you strong.

In sum, working with a client only in the inner world falls short; working with a client only in the outside world also falls short. The work in the inner world must be closely intertwined with the work in the very concrete outer world; the work in the unconscious must be closely intertwined with the work in the conscious. The dovetailing of work in these different areas leads to very positive interactions and enables progress in the work in the best possible way in his real, everyday life that easily.

The Appreciative, Dense Conversation

Another method I work with is the Appreciative, Dense Conversation, originally developed by Uwe Böschemeyer. The dense conversation assumes that people don't always truly express themselves in the words they say. It assumes that people also like to release a lot of verbal noise out of their mouths, with which they tend to cover up rather than bringing up what they actually mean, think, and feel.

The dense conversation is always used in the course of the conversation when the therapist has the feeling that the client is not really speaking up. He then simply holds out what has been said to him again with the silent - or even out loud - question: "Is what you are saying, what you really mean and think and feel?" Both the client and the therapist then follow the client's path of words until it becomes clear what the client really wants to say. Only then is it possible to continue the conversation without the two of them talking at cross purposes.

I'll illustrate this with a short fictitious example. Let's say a therapist has a client. I'll call him Peter. Peter is a client who is very afraid of other people. The therapist gave him a small homework assignment for the next lesson. He dared him to go into a coffee shop all by himself and sit down in the middle of the coffee shop in a highly visible position, shout loudly and audibly to the waiter and place his order loudly. The purpose of the exercise should be to overcome the fear of unpleasant attention. Now he comes back and the therapist asks him how it went with the homework.

Here is a very short sample dialogue for a dense conversation. The client answers the therapist's question about how it went:

Client.: "Oh, there wasn't any time to practice it. The week was just too short and there was way too much to do."

Therapist: "Hm... no time at all... The week too short..."  Therapist remains silent for a longer period of time.

Client.: "No, that was really like being bewitched. I just didn't get around to it."

Therapist: "Just didn't get around to it..."

Client looks at the therapist slightly uncertain and asks: "What do you mean by that?"

Therapist: "How do I put it: You mean to say that you just didn't get around to it? Is this what you want to say? So was that it?

Client is silent for a long time, then: "Oh, that's what you mean – you think I should have taken time to do it."

Therapist: "Would you have?"

Client slightly embarrassed: "Well, somehow it would have worked, but to be honest I was just too scared of it."

Therapist: "I can understand that better now. So there wasn't just too little time and neither did anyone bewitch in any way or simply shorten a week, but you still had a little too much fear. That makes sense to me right away. After all, it was also a very heavy exercise."

"No time" and "week too short", were just the superficial word noise that the client made at first. Actually, and in reality, he said: “I'm still too scared.”

The purpose of the dense conversation is not only to help the client to express what he really means and thinks and feels. It is also the aim of a close conversation to help the client to feel value options in a condensed way, in order to enable him to make his own personal decision of conscience for one and against the other possibility. Feeling value, value judgements, and value realization are therefore also the goals of the dense conversation. In order to illustrate this as vividly as possible, I will continue the fictitious dialogue with the client that I started above. Purely for reasons of time, I shorten the dialogues a lot, in real situations they are more detailed and much longer.

Therapist: "Was there a lot of fear?"

Client.: "Well, it was much worse a while ago, but it was there."

Therapist: "And besides the fear, was there no other feeling?"

Client.: "Yes, I was still thinking about our imaginations. Conversations about how I actually want to be braver and so..."

Therapist: "Why don't you pronounce the word 'courage' again calmly, slowly and loudly."

Client.: after a moment's hesitation: "Courage."

Therapist: "Calm down one more time."

Client.: "Courage, Courage..."

Therapist: "Where do you feel the word when you say it?"

Client.: "It's buzzing and vibrating in my abdomen."

Therapist: "Does that feel good?"

Client.: "That feels strong."

Therapist: "Let this strong feeling continue to sink in."

Client.  Repeats the exercise a few more times, sitting up straighter in his chair without noticing.

Therapist: "Would you like to stand up straight?"

Client does that.

Therapist: Why don't you stretch your right arm very slowly and with a clenched fist and say it again: “Courage"

Client obeys.

Therapist: "How do you feel now?"

Client.: "Pretty pithy..."

Therapist: "Why don't you let anything come to you that gives you courage?"

Client: after a few initial difficulties, starts to associate: power, strength, standing up, taking a deep breath, being wide, being free, doing what I want, finally go to this shitty coffee shop, get the waiter, talk to the sexy woman at the next table... Client continues to associate for a while, then sits down again.

Therapist: "How do you feel now?"

Client.: "Ready to go..."

Therapist: "For what?"

Client.: "For life"

Therapist: "Just do it in your imagination, go boldly into your life into it..."

Client.: hesitates and says: "Look, there's that brake again. Now comes this stupid thing again … Inhibition, I feel that right. It's kind of getting tighter in the feeling."

Therapist: "Is there any image that comes to mind about this inhibition?"

Client.: "I see myself standing there right now."

Therapist: "How are you standing there?"

Client.: "Shy, looking at the floor, shoulders pulled up..."

Therapist: "What does this fearful Peter you see there radiate right now?" 

Client.: "Fear. He is simply afraid."

Therapist: "Stay with him inside. How does it make you feel?"

Client.: "He annoys me, I don't like him."

Therapist: "Nothing else?"

Client.: is silent for a long time, then: "Well, I'm sorry for this guy too."

Therapist: "Do you feel that compassion for him?

Client.: after a long time: "Yes, I do..."

Therapist: "What does this fearful Peter need now that they see him in front of them?"

Client.: "You just have to take him in your arms and warm him and stroke him..."

Therapist: "Now that you're with him, do you want to do that?"

Client.: hesitates longer, then: "Yes, I do."

Therapist: "Leave a lot of time, just be with him"

Client.: Has been silent for a long time now and is becoming more and more immersed in this idea.

Therapist: "Is that good for him, our fearful Peter?"

Client.: "And how. And me too. It's like a liberating cry inside," exhaling deeply.

Therapist: "Wait and see if the brave Peter in your imagination will come to you."

Client.: "He’s already here."

Therapist: "What does he look like and what does he radiate?"

Client.: "He's just sovereign, he's standing very straight but also very friendly in front of me."

Therapist: "Why don't you let him work on you for a long time?"

Client.: does so and is silent for a long time, takes a deep breath and breathes freely, then: "That felt good."

Therapist: "What do you think, which Peter do you want to develop more and more towards?"

Client.: "That's clear. And one thing's for sure: I'm going to order something from the café next week."

What happened in the conversation? First of all, the therapist helped the client to say what he really felt, which is fear. Then, on the one hand, the client approached the noëtic phenomenon of "courage". The therapist did not talk to him about courage but tried to make courage tangible through a phenomenological circling of the phenomenon. In the same way, the resistance, in this case the psychological feeling of fear, was worked on to a small extent by the fact that the client, instead of rejecting it, accepted it, thus taking the fearful Peter in his arms. And finally, the client was led to the decision: which life or value option he wanted to choose, fear or courage? Of course, such conversation takes much longer in real therapy situations, but that would have gone too far here.

Typological work

In addition to the methods mentioned so far, I also work with a typology, more precisely with the typology of the Enneagram. Nine different basic personality types are described there. Now it is completely clear to me that Logotherapy and typology are first and foremost natural enemies. Logotherapy is based on the uniqueness of the human being. The typology focuses on the supra-individual, the typical. Why do I still work with a typology in a Logotherapeutic context and how can the two be reconciled?

My perspective is that working with the Enneagram in as unprejudiced a way as possible simply shows that the basic personality types described there can be found very clearly in reality in an impressively frequent way. When working with people, it is easy to see that they are not only unique and one-of-a-kind, but despite their uniqueness and one-of-a-kindness, they also have supra-individual, typical traits in common with many other people. This may offend one or the other, but at least in my opinion it is so.

But what is a basic personality type? In analogy to behavioral therapy, which speaks of "patterns of behavior", one could say that such a basic personality type is a "pattern of being". This pattern permeates all areas of life: thinking, feeling, acting, sensory perception and more. But is a person determined, as it were, by their type? Such an impression could arise, but it is wrong.

A person is first and foremost a mystery and remains so. It is never even remotely transparent and never will be. Human existence is simply too big and too wonderful for that. And it is also true that a human being is not a type, but he has a type. Although its typological structure imposes certain limits on him, just as it opens up certain possibilities for him, he is always more than his typological structure. He is not absorbed in it. And he doesn't lose his individuality just because he has a certain basic personality type. Rather, his individuality is expressed in the way he shapes himself within this structure, how he works on the problem aspects of his structure and develops himself towards the possibilities associated with his structure in a special way.

Under these conditions, typological work in the context of Logotherapy is so helpful because, on the one hand, it makes it possible to concentrate with a person in the work on the very few but very elementary problem areas that the typological structure entails. On the surface, it often looks as if a person has many different construction sites and problems: at work, in the partnership, in himself, with his fellow human beings, etc. etc. A closer look, however, very often shows that the multitude of his problems is an ever new and repeating expression of a very few but very deep-seated basic problems of his personality structure. And we need to work on them. In other words, typological work can be used to make work extraordinarily elementary.

And secondly, the Enneagram also describes very basic meaning options for the respective personality type. Of course, this does not refer to external options for meaning, but to inner values and feelings of worth. And you can also work towards these in a very elementary way. I would love to illustrate these thoughts for you using a small example. Unfortunately, time no longer permits this.

Development of a Logotherapeutic Discussion Series

I would now like to briefly outline an ideal-typical structure of a Logotherapeutic discussion series.

It begins with the client presenting the problem. They simply tell us as best they can what is bothering them and what is hurting them. This usually takes up the first hour. Then, in the following hour, we talk about his typical nature completely independently of his problem. I ask him to simply talk: Typical "you", you in your nature, strengths, and weaknesses. What would you say about yourself and what do other people who are well-disposed towards you but also open to criticism say? Self-image and external image. This process usually takes up the second hour. Then comes the target analysis. By this I mean the question: Which person do you want to develop into, which person do you want to develop out of yourself? It is worth spelling out the various areas of your life in concrete terms: Who do you want to become: personally in yourself, socially at work, physically, mentally, etc.? Finally, go through your life story: How did you become who you are today? What were the strong, good aspects of your life story so far and what was difficult and painful? All these steps together usually take four hours. Then we draw a conclusion: What are the central problems that need to be addressed? Where do they probably originate: in the typological structure, in the life history, in current life structures? Possible physical sources of psychological problems should also be investigated and, if necessary, a specialist should be consulted.

And in the same way, it is necessary to ask: Which inner noëtic potentials are to be worked on in a special way: on the ability to love, courage, patience and serenity, inner clarity and honesty, humility, balance, goodness, or others, and then essentially with the methods shown above, the processing phase begins. The center of the following work is to help the client to experience as deeply as possible the life-sustaining, positive forces of his noëtic unconscious. Of course, how long it lasts varies from case to case. But there is one thing I always tell my clients right at the beginning of a series of conversations, when they ask how long it will take. I always tell them it's going to take longer rather than shorter. So it's more like half a year instead of a quarter, a year rather than half a year. And then I quote C.G. Jung, who once said: The human soul changes just as quietly as a fully loaded oil tanker turns around its own axis in port: very slowly. In my experience, Logotherapy does not change this.

The Therapist-Client Relationship

At the very end, I would like to take a brief look at the relationship between the logotherapist and his client. What are the key features here?

The Logotherapist is a real interlocutor to his client and not just a faceless and genderless projection surface for the problems of his counterpart; and also not merely mirror for what the client says.  In other words, the Logotherapeutic conversation is a real dialogue and not a monologue a deux, as Frankl once put it.

The basic task of the Logotherapist in conversation is to help his counterpart to be able to experience the powers of his noëtic unconscious as far as possible, to help him to find his values that make sense for him, to help him to feel the voice of his real personal conscience.

In all this, I consider a warm-hearted, loving objectivity of the therapist towards the client to be a very appropriate basic attitude in conversation. This attitude includes that the therapist is allowed to give the client encouragement, but is also allowed to ask him unpleasant questions and - if not him, but parts of him - may question him, challenge him, may also hold out his own opinion on certain topics to him, so that the client can work out his own contours more and more sharply in weighing the pros and cons. However, there is one thing the therapist must not do under any circumstances: he must not and cannot know what is right or wrong for the other person. To sense and decide this in the end is solely the task and the possibility of the conversation partner.

I Summarize My Understanding of Logotherapy as Outlined in this Talk:

Logotherapy is not merely a complement to psychotherapy. It is a completely independent form of therapeutic work, originally responsible for the entire variety of disorders. Exceptions prove the rule here.

The center of Logotherapeutic work is the palpable awareness of the powers of the noëtic unconscious.

Methodological approaches to the powers of the noëtic unconscious are excellently suited to Value-oriented Imaginations, Logotherapeutic dream work and also the Dense, value-sensitive conversation.

Logotherapy does not exclude the resistance work from its conversation with the client but includes it in the conversation. The basic rule is: as much potential orientation as possible, as much resistance work as necessary.

In her work, she links the work in the unconscious realm with the work in the conscious realm. And it dovetails the work in the inner world with the work in the concrete outer world.

Logotherapy, as I understand and practice it, is open to typological thinking. The inclusion of typological work in Logotherapy makes it possible to focus the work. In this way, you can work very specifically towards the core problems and work out the basic possibilities associated with the personality type in a very targeted way.

The logotherapeutic conversation is a real dialogue and not a monologue of the client, in which a second person, namely the therapist, is present in a silent or mirroring way. An appropriate basic attitude of the therapist in conversation is a loving, warm-hearted objectivity.

Handbook for Logotherapists: Theory and Praxis

by By Anne Niiles-Mäki, Ph.D., Institute for Purpose-Centered Philosophy, Finland.
ISBN: 978-952-69843-2-2

Handbook for Logotherapists: Theory and Praxis by Anne Niiles-Mäki, Ph.D., is not just another book about Logotherapy. As the title explains, it is a handbook for theory and practice (praxis). It is an academic and thorough but also accessible explanation of the concepts and techniques of Logotherapy and Existential Analysis that goes beyond simple introductions and definitions of terms. As a handbook for Logotherapists, it is more suitable for people who already have a foundation in LTEA than beginners. By way of comparison, Niiles-Mäki has produced a work that is, in my opinion, comparable in depth and detail to Viktor Frankl’s On the Theory and Therapy of Mental Disorders, with the difference that Niiles-Mäki’s work covers the breadth of Logotherapy, whereas Frankl’s handbook is more narrowly focused on categorizing, explaining, and treating disorders (neuroses).

Like Frankl, Niiles-Mäki earned a Ph.D. in philosophy, but unlike Frankl, she is not an M.D. This means that Niiles-Mäki’s writing is more focused on the philosophy underpinning Frankl’s work, which is one of the virtues of this handbook. Not only does Niiles-Mäki carefully delineate Logo-philosophy, but she also contributes additional materials to shore up and enhance the field, giving Logotherapy a stronger base in scientific and philosophic language. These contributions include the application of interventionist theory, the theory of regional ontology (Husserl), applications of theories from the Finnish philosopher Lauri Rauhala (e.g., the basic structure of human consciousness), the Two-Staged Separation Diagnostics of disorders, a renewed model of Existential Analysis, and the implementation of the hermeneutic circle. This more or less describes chapters 1-6 of the book, the theoretical foundations (theory), whereas chapters 7-14 comprise the “how to” (praxis) part of the handbook.

With Handbook for Logotherapists: Theory and Praxis, Niiles-Mäki has produced a tome that deserves the attention and scrutiny of the LTEA community. It is suitable for advanced students of Logotherapy, and it is a worthy addition to any practitioner’s library. Speaking for myself, I read it slowly and often re-read passages. This is simply because Niiles-Mäki’s book stretched me intellectually beyond my current level of understanding. I have truly benefitted from reading it, and I am glad to have it to refer to again and again in my implementation of LTEA.

To get your copy visit: https://logoterapeutti.fi/handbook-for-logotherapists-theory-and-praxis/

Tom Edmondson for meaninginministry.com 

Date Of Review: February 2024

Pastoral Logotherapy and the Care of Souls

Rev. Tom Edmondson

24th Logotherapy World Congress

Panel: Religion, Spirituality, and Transcendence

As a local church pastor who integrates Logotherapy and Existential Analysis into pastoral care, I have a special appreciation of Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning (2000). The thesis statement for this book is found in the Preface to the First English Edition and is stated as follows: “There is … a religious sense deeply rooted in each and every man’s unconscious depths” (Frankl, 2000, p. 14). This thesis is unpacked and developed throughout the book in Frankl’s discussion of the spiritual unconscious, intuition, artistic creativity, dreams, and the conscience. While we may briefly define Logotherapy as “therapy through meaning,” Frankl was also clear that Logotherapy and Existential Analysis is a spiritual therapy. Not spiritual in a religious sense, but as in recognizing the human spirit as the dimension of human nature that searches for meaning.

 Generally, Frankl’s writings leave revealed theology and religion to pastors, priests, and rabbis, but in this particular book he addressed religion, spirituality, and transcendence via the conscience, dreams, creativity, and ultimate meaning in relation to the human noëtic realm. These discussions include examples of people who experienced neurotic or psychotic disturbances but still had access—though sometimes severely limited—to their noëtic core. It was this connection to the transcendent via their noëtic cores that, despite their physical or psychological limitations, allowed them to express creative, experiential, and attitudinal values, cope with their disorders, or achieve a certain level of healing.

Returning to the thesis statement in the preface, Frankl added a corollary statement that this inner religious sense “may break through unexpectedly, even in cases of severe mental illness such as psychoses” (Frankl, 2000, pp. 14-15). This point is repeated in Frankl’s 1985 Oskar Pfister Award Lecture also titled, “Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning,” and is included in this same volume. It addresses religion from an existential point-of-view. Rather than making truth claims for one religion or another, Frankl asserted that human religious behavior is more than just an existential response to life, but also stands as phenomenological proof of the existence of an inner religious sense:

In a book of mine, The Will to Meaning, I describe the case of a severe manic phase (Frankl, 1984b), in other books of mine a patient suffering from an endogenous depression (Frankl, 1985a) and other patients suffering from schizophrenia (Frankl, 1984a, b)—all of them showed an indestructible and indelible sense of religiousness [emphasis added]” (Frankl, 2000, p. 153).

Thus, we can see that from beginning to end, in the English edition of Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning and its supplementary materials, Frankl’s presentation of evidence for the existence of an “inner religious sense” is reinforced with examples that include neurotic and psychotic issues. 

In this paper, I present six statements culled from the following books and essays: Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning (2000), On the Theory and Therapy of Mental Disorders (2004), The Will to Meaning (1988), and the essay, “Psychotherapy, Art, and Religion,” found in Psychotherapy and Existentialism: Selected Papers on Logotherapy (Frankl and Crumbaugh, 1967). These six theses express Frankl’s conviction that, though hindered by illness of the mind or body, there is an uninjured human spirit. And in each of these six examples particularly, religion or spirituality was the bridge either to noëtic healing or the adoption of attitudinal values in unalterable situations. 

We have already read the first thesis from Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning, but here is the longer version which includes the corollary statement: “There is … a religious sense deeply rooted in each and every man’s unconscious depths … this sense may break through unexpectedly, even in cases of severe mental illness such as psychoses” (Frankl, 2000, pp. 14-15). The inclusion of the phrase, “may break through unexpectedly, even in cases of severe mental illness such as psychoses” reminds us that it is often the experience of neurosis or psychosis that brings a person to an awareness of unconscious—or repressed—spirituality. The fact that it breaks through—even unexpectedly—serves as phenomenological proof of this inner religious sense grounded in the human spirit. 

Thesis one, then, speaks to the fact that behind the psychosis or neurosis, there is an “uninjured” human spirit to be uncovered and activated in the healing process. This is the stated purpose for the practice of Existential Analysis, as Frankl wrote in On the Theory and Therapy of Mental Disorders: “Existential analysis awakens … a humanity that is uninjured and is incapable of being injured. Existential analysis tries to teach us how to make this visible even through the veil of neurotic derangement and psychotic madness [emphasis added]” (Frankl, 2004, p. 60). 

Each thesis in the discussion that follows, adds a nuance to this exploration of accessing the human spirit when working with people experiencing a neurosis or psychosis. Thesis 2 comes from Frankl’s essay, “Psychotherapy, Art, and Religion” (Frankl, 1967, pp. 165-181). This example is actually a fuller account of an artist’s spiritual crisis that is briefly described in Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning, pp. 50-55. In this longer but earlier version, we learn that the patient’s presenting issue was neurotic behavior and artistic frustration—she couldn’t paint. It was only during the course of treatment that the real issue emerged. As Frankl wrote: “the patient was struggling for two things: her work and God … The religious problem was not apparent in the beginning of the treatment but spontaneously broke through in its own course [emphasis added]” (Frankl, 1967, pp. 165-166). Thesis 2 follows: “Psychotherapy, handled correctly, will release a patient’s religiosity [emphasis added], even if that religiosity was dormant and its release was not at all intended by the therapist” (Frankl, 1967, p. 166). Because Frankl believed the inner religious sense is a human characteristic—a strength rather than a crutch—he was able to recognize it as such and assist the artist in her search for meaning/healing along spiritual lines. But we could imagine a very different outcome for her if she had been treated by someone from a different school of thought whose weltanschauung considered the religious sense as the neurosis rather than its cause and its cure.

Theses 3 – 6 are drawn from the chapter, “Medical Ministry” in The Will to Meaning: Foundations and Applications of Logotherapy (Frankl, 1988, pp. 131-141). Frankl’s discussion of Joan of Arc in this chapter serves as an excellent setup for these four theses:

There is no doubt that from the psychiatric point of view, the saint would have had to be diagnosed as a case of schizophrenia; and as long as we confine ourselves to the psychiatric frame of reference, Joan of Arc is “nothing but” a schizophrenic. What she is beyond a schizophrenic is not perceptible within the psychiatric dimension. As soon as we follow her into the noological dimension and observe her theological and historical importance, it turns out that Joan of Arc is more than a schizophrenic. The fact of her being a schizophrenic in the dimension of psychiatry does not in the least detract from her significance in other dimensions. And vice versa. Even if we took it for granted that she was a saint, this would not change the fact she was also a schizophrenic (Frankl, 1988, p. 29).

From this example, it is easy to see the logic of Thesis 3:

One is not justified in assuming that a neurosis or psychosis must be detrimental to the religious life of the patient. It need not be a handicap but may well be a challenge and stimulus which triggers a religious response [emphasis added]. Even if it is a neurosis that drives a person to religion, religion may become genuine, in the long run, and finally help the person to overcome the neurosis. It therefore is not justified a priori to exclude people with neurotic traits from the theological profession (Frankl, 1988, pp. 132-133).

The primary example Frankl used to support Thesis 3 was of a Carmelite nun struggling with depression. She had the further burden of being shamed by a superior who told her that a nun should not be depressed. Frankl helped her to overcome this by suggesting the opposite, that perhaps only a Carmelite sister could master depression in the admirable way that she did. In so doing, he appealed to her inner noëtic self to find meaning in her suffering, which relieved her of the guilt she was feeling. This also illustrates how a person’s spiritual core can be the source of noögenic distress but also of noögenic healing. 

This leads logically to Thesis 4: “People need not become bad monks and nuns because of a neurosis, but may well become good monks and nuns in spite of it. In some cases, they even become good monks and nuns because of a neurosis [emphasis added]” (Frankl, 1988, p. 137).

The neurosis, in Frankl’s view, did nothing to minimize the Carmelite sister’s value as a nun. Rather, it offered her the ability to be a good—or even better—nun because of it. On a more basic level, it could be said that a neurosis does not make a person morally good or bad. As Frankl wrote in The Unheard Cry for Meaning:

Time and again, we psychiatrists meet patients whose response to their delusions is anything but pathological. I have met paranoiacs who, out of their delusional ideas of persecution, have killed their alleged enemies; but I have also met paranoiacs who have forgiven their supposed adversaries. The latter have not acted out of mental illness but rather reacted to this illness out of their humanness (Frankl, 1978, p. 49).

Values extend from a person’s noëtic core and, therefore, may break through despite neurosis or psychosis. Similarly, mental illness does not keep one from knowing or speaking the truth: “Two times two equals four even if a paranoiac makes the statement” (Frankl, 1986, p. 15). Again, this is based on the idea that behind the psychosis or neurosis is an “uninjured” noëtic core, which is also home to the inner religious sense. Thesis 5: 

Neurosis is not necessarily detrimental to religion. The neurotic may be religious either despite or because of being neurotic [emphasis added]. This fact reflects the independence and authenticity of religion. To all appearances religion is indestructible and indelible. Even psychosis cannot destroy it (Frankl, 1988, pp. 137-138).

Frankl further illustrated this with the story of a man in his sixties who had suffered for decades from auditory hallucinations (schizophrenia). Human opinion of this man was not high. Frankl wrote: “I was facing a ruined personality. Everyone in his environment regarded him as an idiot” (Frankl, 1988, p. 138). He had wanted to be a priest when he was young, but obviously this did not happen. He was cared for by his sister and his religious service was limited to singing in the choir. Because of his mental condition he often became easily excitable but was able to regain self-control. When Frankl asked him for whom he was calming himself, he responded, “For God’s sake.” Even the ability to cope with one’s own mental disorder, in other words, can be aided by an appeal to the inner religious sense. 

This leads to thesis 6 which serves as a great summary statement for appealing to the counselee’s inner religious sense via Existential Analysis: “Taking religion seriously allows for drawing upon the spiritual resources of the patient. In this context spiritual means uniquely and truly human (Frankl, 1988, p. 140). This drives home the point that behind every illness is an “uninjured spirit,” where the patient can choose to exercise freedom and responsibleness. Thus, diseases of the body and the mind, tragic though they are, ultimately do not have to control how a person responds to them. 

What can pastors, rabbis, priests, and others who serve a religious or spiritual community, gain from this discussion? I will not attempt a full answer to this question today, but I will suggest some possible answers to be further explored. First, we are members of the clergy who integrate Logotherapy and Existential Analysis into pastoral care, we are not medical doctors, nor are we psychiatrists. Therefore, we are not suited to treat people experiencing psychosis, but we can minister to them. Frankl’s statements about the inner religious sense breaking through even in spite of psychosis should guide us in caring for them. Thus, when ministering to someone experiencing psychosis—and like any other Logotherapist—we can attempt to connect with them via their noëtic core. 

An anecdotal example I would like to offer comes from my grandmother. At the end of her life she was in home hospice care and suffering greatly in her body. Because of this, she was treated with morphine, which caused her to fall into a morphine induced delirium. Whether this is properly called psychosis or not, the manifestations are similar in the same way that a panic attack and a heart attack look the same to a non-medical person like me. Be that as it may, my grandmother was not experiencing reality the way the rest of us were. One night shortly before she died, as we were sitting at her bedside, she recounted disparate memories and stories from across her lifespan. At times she seemed like a child and other times like an adult. It was both entertaining and bittersweet. But most amazingly, she sang old hymns like “Precious Memories.” And what is so amazing is that, while her mind was scattered in many directions, she sang every word and every note of the sacred hymns. Despite her delirium, where she could not talk or think in a linear fashion, she was able to sing a religious hymn from beginning to end. As I see it, though her mind and body were failing, her noëtic core was intact, as demonstrated by this religious sense breaking through the fog of a morphine induced delirium.

Two more anecdotal examples. One Wednesday evening a young man entered our church building and went directly to the sanctuary. He was seeking help. His speech was hard to follow, but we finally made out that he had been wandering about town for most of the day, was off of his medication, and could not figure out how to tell his caretaker where he was. Luckily, he had his phone and I was able to speak with his caretaker. Within thirty minutes the caretaker arrived to take the young man back to his group home. Given the circumstances, I could not ask about the young man’s condition, but my guess is that he was experiencing bipolar disorder. 

The point of this anecdote is to share what I observed as we were waiting for the caretaker to arrive. Like the example Frankl gave of the man who calmed himself “for God’s sake,” this young man became agitated when we were not speaking directly to him. What did he do in those moments? He alternated between quoting John 3:16, “For God so loved the world …” and praying, “God have mercy on me, a sinner.” It was unmistakable and clear that he was speaking out of his inner religious sense to deal with his psychosis. He seemed to be calming himself “for God’s sake.” 

Finally, there is a lady in our congregation who has a family history of Alzheimer’s disease. Not long ago, her only living relative, a brother, passed away from the effects of Alzheimer’s. Shortly thereafter, she began to show signs herself. Once a very talkative person, she suddenly became very quiet to the point of not talking at all. The extreme change was noticed by everyone. Finally, a doctor prescribed a medicine that eased her symptoms, and she has been able to engage in conversation again, but still only with a minimum of words. Recently I observed that in worship, when the congregation recites the Lord’s Prayer, she says every word—many more words than she is now able to put into a conversation.

If a person’s inner religious sense can be accessed despite psychotic issues, how much more effective can it be when ministering to people experiencing noögenic neuroses, or other existential issues? Clergy, no less than medical doctors, deal with real human hurts. Pastoral Logotherapy can be practiced in a one-on-one or group counseling setting, but it often occurs in places like hospital rooms, social gatherings, Bible studies, sermons, and in impromptu encounters. Further, a priest, rabbi, imam, shaman, or preacher is, by virtue of his or her vocation, a representative of religion, spirituality, and the transcendent. Therefore, effective implementation of Logotherapy in the pastoral setting includes helping the person find the meaning of their lives through the usual means of maieutic questioning, etc., but also with the corollary that religion or spirituality is part of the discussion. Our examination of these six theses, drawn from Frankl’s writings, undergirds the fact that accessing the inner religious or spiritual sense within the seeker is a pathway to either healing or a positive attitudinal change for living with unalterable circumstances.

Works Cited

Frankl, V. E. (1986). The Doctor and the Soul: From Psychotherapy to Logotherapy. New York: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group.

Frankl, V. E. (2000). Man's Search for Ultimate Meaning. United States: Basic Books.

Frankl, V. E. (2004). On the Theory and Therapy of Mental Disorders: An Introduction to Logotherapy and Existential Analysis. United States: Brunner-Routledge.

Frankl, V. E., Crumbaugh, J. C. (1967). “Psychotherapy, Art, and Religion,” in Psychotherapy and Existentialism: Selected Papers on Logotherapy. United States: Simon and Schuster, pp. 165-181.

Frankl, V. E. (1978). The Unheard Cry for Meaning: Psychotherapy and Humanism. United States: Touchstone.

Frankl, V. E. (1988). The Will to Meaning: Foundations and Applications of Logotherapy. United States: Meridian.

Logotherapy in the Postmodern Age: What the Existential-Analytical and Postmodern Spirit canChallenge Each Other to Do.

By Prof. Dr. Heye Heyen 

Originally presented to the 25th anniversary of The German Society for Logotherapy and Existential Analysis in Osnabrück on March 23, 2007.

Available in German here.

Translated by Tom Edmondson for Meaning in Ministry: Logotherapy with Pastoral Care

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

"Logotherapy in the postmodern era" - this title names a thing and a place. “Logotherapy” is the thing. “Postmodern” denotes an aspect of the place where logotherapy is practiced in the 21st century. We freely chose the matter, logotherapy, and at some point, made it our business. In principle, each of us could have chosen something else instead. That doesn't necessarily apply to the location, to postmodernism.

None of us have been asked whether we would like to live and work in a world saturated with the postmodern spirit or would rather live somewhere else. In that case, some of us might have said: we'd rather be somewhere else, namely in a world of binding values and generally accepted truth. But none of us have been asked. For the cause we have chosen, the place is given to us by fate. It has been imposed upon us. So I may well say, for logotherapists in the 21st century it is part of the "task character of life" to be challenged by the postmodern spirit and to be a challenge to it.

PART I: WHAT IS POSTMODERN?

But what exactly is meant by the term “postmodern”? What I mean by this are two developments in particular, which are of course related and condition each other. I will outline them briefly. Firstly, there is the suspicion of the great narratives, secondly, the individualization and the associated compulsion to invent one's own life.

First of all: suspicion of the grand narratives. This expression is due to the French philosopher Jean-François Lyotard. In 1979 he published his programmatic book, which is now considered a classic of postmodernism, "La condition postmoderne"; the title of the German translation published in 1986 is: "The postmodern knowledge" („Das postmoderne Wissen“).

Lyotard understands a “grand narrative” or “meta-narrative” to be a theoretical system that claims to explain the world to us “validly and comprehensively and to oblige human action on the basis of such a unifying explanation.” According to the postmodern sensation, neither the Enlightenment, nor science and technology, nor Marxism nor Christianity can do this.

In religious education, we are talking about a patchwork religiosity of young people; an ideological patchwork quilt whose patchwork is collected from different traditions and systems, in contrast to the ready-made or inherited monochrome carpet with which one can compare the belief system that their parents have more or less adopted or rejected as a whole.

A few years ago, a student of Religious Education said: "Why, I imagine that the Christian God lives with Allah and Buddha in a kind of shared apartment." She does not need a truth to which these three would have to be transcended, be it a "God above God" in the sense of Tillich or a "super sense" in the sense of Frankl. She can also easily imagine life after death, in all seriousness, in such a way that the Christian goes to heaven, the Buddhist enters nirvana after a series of rebirths, and the atheist simply remains dead. Perhaps a little carelessly, I objected that logic dictates that after death there is only either heaven or reincarnation or nothingness, for example. The striking and, at the same time, significant thing for me was that this objection was not at all plausible to her. Here my modern reasoning had met her postmodern understanding or non-understanding. The one common truth that arches over everything like a dome has long since collapsed for her, and she doesn't even experience that as something bad or something to mourn. On the contrary, the dome no longer blocks the view of the sky, and even the rubble now has its own aesthetic fascination.

Second: The Individualization of Life worlds

Today, the individual has a degree of freedom to shape their professional and private life themselves, in a way that was almost unthinkable in previous generations. If I had been born just fifty years earlier, my career path would have been pretty much set from the moment I was born. I would have taken over my parents' farm in East Friesland, where I was born, and spent my life there until old age. The question "what do you want to be?" would never have arisen. And of course, not the question: high school, yes or no? Studies, yes or no? And if so, what and where? A wealth of my own decisions, all of which I was allowed to make myself – and of course had to do – would have been taken from me or withheld from me by the community (according to the guidelines of tradition). Marrying a woman suitable for the role of a farmer's wife, having children with her and staying with her until death would have been just as natural as remaining faithful to the Evangelical Lutheran Church in which I was baptized as a child until the end of my life. The question of why I am convinced of this, or whether I might not find the doctrine of the Reformed or the Catholics more convincing, would not really have arisen. Not to mention the possibilities that are open today: to leave the church, to become a Buddhist instead of getting married, to live in a sequence of life stage partnerships, with women or men, with children or without, to be sedentary or to live as a vagabond, to practice a profession or successively several different ones, and so on.

It is clear that today there are many more options available. This means on the one hand an increase in the freedom of choice, and on the other hand a multiplication of responsibility for the choices to be made. The fewer the directions, the greater the freedom to choose one's own path, but the more necessary the decision-making authority and the ability to orient oneself. I'll come back to that later.

PART II: A PLEA FOR AN UNPREJUDICED ATTITUDE TOWARDS POSTMODERNISM

But first I would like to ask the question which brings me to the second part of this lecture: What attitude do we as logotherapists take towards postmodernity? And I would like to answer that myself with a plea for an attitude that is as open and fearless as possible, as free of prejudice as possible.

With a gaze that is as unclouded as possible, that does not place unnoticed a film over the image he is looking at, so that he can no longer distinguish, “What do I really see in the picture? And what do I see on my own slide?” I am thinking in particular of two slides that should be avoided or, if necessary, recognized and removed: optimism about progress and pessimism about progress.

a) Progress or development optimism.

Optimism about progress, i.e. the belief that human development is always going up, seems – if I interpret history correctly – to be a rather short-lived phenomenon. The only example I will briefly mention is the so-called “actually existing socialism”. In East Germany, for example, they still had vivid dreams and visions in the early years, but it didn't take a generation before the dreams of socialist man basically died and were only artificially held up.

b) Progress or development pessimism

Pessimism about progress, on the other hand, seems to me to be much more tenacious: the idea that human development is always going downhill. Particularly in moral terms, it is occasionally assumed without reflection and without examination that human history is a history of the decline in values.

It can be observed again and again that older people realize with regret—or even with uncertainty—that some values that have meant a lot to them since childhood mean significantly less to their grandchildren's generation, and not just in our time. This is only too understandable, since it can be an insult when children or grandchildren are indifferent to values that are downright sacred to them. This explains a certain point of view of an older generation.

But does that also mean that objective values are actually falling more and more? I imagine there would be a general value index, similar to the DAX on the stock market. If I know how high the DAX is, I get an idea of whether it is worth buying or selling shares, for example. Even if it can, of course, be the case that one or the other individual share can be much higher or much lower than the DAX suggests. So, if there were such a value index, it would of course fluctuate, similar to the DAX. But would it really have been falling steadily for years or centuries or millennia? Were the values that people lived by fifty or a hundred years ago really higher than they are now? There is no question that there have been changes in individual values. But was the total of realized values really higher back then? And should it really have been even higher a thousand or even three thousand years ago? Is humanity becoming more and more immoral? When I look at the history of the last decades—which I have witnessed myself—and also when I look at the history of the last millennia, I don't find that to be confirmed.

I will first briefly mention an example that dates back about 3000 years. At that time King Solomon reigned, whose wisdom is praised in the Bible. I don't want to deny his wisdom either, but I would like to mention a historical detail that is mostly suppressed in children's Bibles. Once Solomon ascended the throne, his first action after the death of his father David was to eliminate any rivals to secure his power. That's why he had his brother Adonijah and two of his father's military leaders summarily murdered. When I compare this to the rulers of today's Western world, I cannot say that the moral standards that underpin their actions are lower than those of Solomon's day.

Now a small example from the history of the last decades. When I compare the students I work with now to the students from a good 30 years ago, I keep noticing two differences that sometimes puts me to shame. On the one hand, there is a culture of mindfulness and friendly interaction with one another. Compared to this, the climate among us back then was cooler, harsher and, above all, more opinionated. But on the other hand, I notice the naturalness with which younger people orient themselves towards values that could be summarized with the keyword "preserving creation". Compared to that, I myself, like many of my fellow students in the 1970s, was frighteningly blind to ecological values from today's perspective.

If the index of moral values knows fluctuations, and also shifts and changes in individual values, but if the overall level has remained more or less constant over the centuries and millennia, I think that is a sufficient reason to assume—and until proven otherwise—that it will not be any different for today's (next) generation. On this basis, logotherapy can face postmodernism without prejudice. Not as the morally superior who wants to show the morally inferior the right way, but in Socratic dialogue with each other.

The Story of Peter Sinking

At this point, I would like to briefly highlight a very old story that has a strong symbolic power. It is found in the New Testament. Nevertheless, I am not concerned here with a theological interpretation, but with the question of how people at that time dealt with the threat to their common identity posed by all kinds of turbulence in the market of worldviews. It could be that there are some parallels to be drawn to the identity of logotherapy in the 21st century.

In the second half of the first century, the young Christian communities lived in a multi-religious and multi-cultural world, which in many respects can certainly be compared to the world today. The number of Christians, which was still very small, had to assert itself against various branches of Judaism, against the Roman imperial cult and against various religious currents and practices of the Hellenistic-Roman culture. And it also had to redefine its own foundations and self-image. If Jesus himself had expected and proclaimed the imminent coming of the kingdom of God, and if the first Christians themselves had reckoned with the imminent return of Jesus, they also had to deal, to an increasing extent, with the disappointment that this had not happened. One had to be prepared to adjust to an extended existence in the world.

In this context, the evangelist Matthew told a story that begins with the following image: The 12 disciples, representing the Christians, are all sitting together in a boat. The boat is an old symbol for the Christian community—for the church. It is not surprising that it is night in this story, which makes it difficult to orient oneself precisely. A storm comes up. High waves crash against the boat. It becomes almost impossible to stay the course. It is as if the boat had become the plaything of the waves. The men are afraid that the boat could capsize and sink. And maybe even that they won't survive the whole thing.

Matthew's listeners recognized their own situation in this story. How should they preserve their identity? Perhaps by clinging to tradition and shielding themselves as much as possible from the turbulence coming from outside? They will have eagerly awaited where Jesus, the foundation and symbol of their Christian identity, would be painted into this picture. And they will have been amazed when they heard that Jesus is not here in the boat with the disciples, not in the place of relative safety. Rather, he enters the scene on the water, on the waves. And they will have been even more amazed at where Jesus is calling Peter, that he doesn't say what most would have advised him: “stay on the boat, hold on tight to the mast, there you have beams and boards under your feet, there you are comparatively safe.” Instead, Jesus calls him to get out of the boat, to set foot on the water that has no beams, to go out to sea, to take on the challenge of the turbulence of water and wind, as it were, to defy them. And also, when a particularly high wave attracts his anxious attention and thus, as Logotherapists know, probably became much bigger than it already was, to succumb to it a bit and sink in. Even when this happens in this story, Jesus does not take back his call, does not say: "You should have stayed in the boat," but reaches out his hand and pulls him out.

By the way: when the great Catholic theologian Karl Rahner pleaded for a “tutorialism of risk,” he meant pretty much exactly this: If the church wants to secure its own identity, it must paradoxically leave the place of relative security and take the risk to enter into the turbulent storms of the time. Perhaps something similar applies to us as logotherapists.

PART III: LOGOTHERAPY AND POSTMODERNITY IN NECESSARY DIALOGUE

So why is it important that in a postmodern landscape the logotherapeutic cause continues to exist? Above all, what would be missing if we as logotherapists were no longer there?

If I try to imagine this, my concern is also, but not primarily, for the clients, the patients who are now receiving help through logotherapeutic counselling or treatment. Thankfully, there is a very wide range of different therapies, counselling and pastoral care. And I would have the hope that those seeking help would find something of equal value somewhere there.

But what would be missing above all—because there is hardly anything corresponding for it under a different flag and under a different name—is the logotherapeutic voice in interdisciplinary conversation about people. Where physicians and psychologists, philosophers and theologians, pedagogues and sociologists work on the question of how the human being is to be adequately understood and what the conditions are for the possibility of successful human life, the logotherapeutic contribution to the conversation seems to me to be indispensable. After all, where else can we find an explicitly therapeutic perspective in clarity that sees the human being centrally as a meaning-oriented and value-related subject? A perspective that also takes the question of man for an important truth without, however, dictating the answer to the question of truth, as happens in some sects, for example.

A prerequisite for the logotherapeutic voice to be heard is our recognizability in the therapeutic and anthropological landscape. To stay with the image of the landscape, there must be signs and a placename that everyone recognizes: “I am now entering "Logotherapy City." This city can certainly afford all hospitality. It does not need a city wall, an anti-non-logotherapeutic protective wall. But it needs the town sign by which it can be recognized by everyone. And thus, a place on the map that can be defined and found.

Now someone might ask: “How does Logotherapy City actually fit into the postmodern landscape? Is it mainly a foreign body there, which is crassly different from the surrounding places? Or are there similarities and congruities?” There are in fact a number of affinities, in addition to clear differences, which I will come to later. To put it another way, in Logotherapy City and in some postmodern places, similar dialects are spoken, which can make it easier to understand each other.

The New York professor of psychology, Paul C. Vitz, has described three characteristics of Viktor Frankl's psychology which he believes can basically be regarded as postmodern.

First, he says that if various reductionist images of man are a hallmark of modernity, then Frankl and postmodernism are pulling in the same direction insofar as they want to overcome this. Seen in this light, Frankl's emphasis on the quest for a higher meaning may have a greater chance of being understood and accepted in postmodernism than in modernism.

Secondly, if various deterministic images of man are a hallmark of modernity, then Frankl and postmodernism are pulling in the same direction insofar as they want to overcome this. In this way, Frankl's emphasis on human agency may have a better chance of being understood and accepted in the postmodern than in the modern.

And thirdly, if modernity is characterized by the striving for autonomy and thus inevitably by a certain anti-social attitude, then Frankl and postmodernism are also pulling in the same direction to the extent that they want to overcome this. So, Frankl's emphasis on responsibility or (to use Buber's words:) of the "I and Thou" instead of the "I" have a greater chance of being understood and accepted in postmodernism than in modernity.

I myself would like to add a fourth point, even if some of it has already been mentioned with the keyword “reductionist images of man”. I specifically mean Frankl's critique of psychologism and the respect for what is genuine that is to be protected as a result. Psychologism is based, like all other "isms”, on the fact that a certain perspective (here a psychological one) is made absolute and all other perspectives are subordinated to it as relative. Again, since the postmodern mind has a strong tendency to regard all possible perspectives as relative (but as such quite valid) and none as absolute, a logotherapeutic and a postmodern interest have a similar gradient.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I expect that Max Scheler's opus “Formalism in Ethics and Material Value Ethics” will experience a new wave of reading and reception. On the contrary, I would be very surprised. But a logotherapeutic interest is not about Scheler as such, but about the function that his Material Ethics of Values had for the young Frankl and his critique of psychologism. I expect a similar function for today's readers, also for those who do not read philosophical books, rather, for example, from the poem by Erich Fried, which is often quoted in logotherapeutic circles:

Was es ist. What is it.

Es ist Unsinn sagt die Vernunft It's nonsense says reason

Es ist was es ist sagt die Liebe. It is what it is, says love.

Es ist Unglück sagt die Berechnung It's bad luck says calculation

Es ist nichts als Schmerz sagt die Angst It's nothing but pain, says fear

Es ist aussichtslos sagt die Einsicht It is hopeless says insight

Es ist was es ist sagt die Liebe It is what it is, says love

Es ist lächerlich sagt der Stolz It's ridiculous says pride

Es ist leichtsinnig sagt die Vorsicht It's frivolous, says the caution

Es ist unmöglich sagt die Erfahrung It's impossible, says the experience

Es ist was es ist sagt die Liebe. It is what it is, says love.

But now to a topic where the relationship between logotherapy and postmodernism cannot be described by saying that the two go in roughly the same or a similar direction, but in which they relate to each other like supply and demand. I have already indicated that the greater freedom of choice for postmodern people, which is at the same time an obligation to choose, also requires greater decision-making competence and a greater ability to orient oneself than was necessary in earlier phases.

So, how does postmodern man find his orientation? How and where does he find the criteria he needs to be able to make the many decisions that are demanded of him in shaping his life? To follow an absolute external authority, e.g., a guru, unconditionally is no longer (or at least very difficult) possible for a postmodern man—I would like to say, “thank God!” But a democratic voting body, so to speak, within or around it, which could take over the function once held by the authority figure, is not yet fully developed. And so, on the one hand, I see postmodern people with a need for guidance and decision-making authority. And on the other hand, I see the Logotherapists who have the right tools in-house for this. So I hope that these two sides will find each other.

The logotherapist has learned to ask about the values that are at stake in the decision-making situation in a Socratic conversation, to name them, perhaps also to put them in the picture with imaginative processes and to feel and experience them there. And the end will very likely be that those looking for orientation will realize: "Here and now, this value weighs much heavier for me than that one."

At this point, of course, there is—at least implicitly—a confrontation between a logotherapeutic and a postmodern basic assumption. In other words, there will be a critique of an aspect of the postmodern mind by the existential mind. For existential analysis and logotherapy, the idea that all values are equally valuable and equally important at all times, that all truths are equally true and all paths are equally valid (and therefore ultimately indifferent) is unacceptable. If the postmodern spirit challenges the existential analytical spirit to contradiction anywhere, it is certainly here. If twenty options out there are all equally worth choosing, then no one knows why they should choose any of them. In other words, where differences in value are no longer perceived, meaning also disappears from view.

I do not see the existential-analytical-logotherapeutic contradiction to this primarily in the dissemination of a philosophical doctrine, but in the fact that we keep an eye on the problem and that we do our part in the Socratic conversation so that the differences in value and the resulting difference in meaning can be discovered and experienced. And at the same time, that it can be experienced and remains useful to ask and search for truth and to argue about the question of truth.

This does not mean, of course, that we as logotherapists claim that we—or even, we alone—have found the only truth and that we are therefore called to pass it on and to teach it. The fact that for a postmodern feeling and for a postmodern perspective the great all-encompassing dome of the one absolute truth has been broken and collapsed need not unsettle the logotherapist, in part it will even find his approval. I quote Viktor Frankl: "As long as we do not have access to an absolute truth, we must be content with the fact that the relative truths correct each other."

As a theologian, I am familiar with the following thought: The claim to absolute truth belongs to God alone and to no other authority. To consider a human cognition or construct to be absolute would be to idolize it. It would be, so to speak, idolatry in the field of cognition. At the same time, however, I think of this idea in its negative punchline (which is what I am primarily concerned with here) is not just a theological one. I think that regardless of the religious or ideological confession, theists and atheists alike can agree that the place of God must either be taken by God himself or kept free by a placeholder, that in any case no human knowledge and no human construct may be provided with a divine claim to absoluteness. In any case, this would amount to some form of tyranny and oppression of man.

Postmodernism makes it harder for us to think of our relative truth as an absolute, our insights and theories as something that would be literally dictated by God, so to speak. Personally, I consider this a blessing. In this way, postmodernism once again underlines what we have known since Immanuel Kant at the latest, namely, that we all cannot help but see reality through our subjective glasses, that we—whether we like it or not—are also involved in constructing our own perceptions.

Of course, taking this subjective side seriously does not mean considering it to be the absolute and literally the only truth. It does not mean saying, "Truth, values or meaning are nothing but subjective constructs, objectively they do not exist, and therefore it is idle to ask and search for them and relate to them." Especially for logotherapists, it can't and doesn't have to mean that.

There is an element of logotherapy in which both sides (the empirically accessible subjective and the objective postulated [by practical reason]) can come into their own. By this element I mean the already mentioned "Socratic dialogue". In doing so, I would like to understand this element not only as a method of applying logotherapeutic knowledge, but as an element of the theory itself.

Socratic dialogue means asking questions and not dictating answers. It also means asking for the truth, with passion. But it doesn't mean dictating to others or yourself what the truth is. It means taking the subjective side seriously. And it means taking seriously that I don't have the truth at my disposal. As with the midwife, she may well have her own personal preferences about whether the child to be born will be a boy or a girl. But she has no control over it.

If "Socratic dialogue" is understood not only as a method of conducting conversations, but also as a basic logotherapeutic attitude, then the question also arises: “To what extent am I a Socratic dialogue partner to myself? Or to what extent am I instead like a pope to myself, who with the claim to infallibility, commands me to believe, think, and perhaps also feel this and who forbids me to do that?” I sometimes think that if a fundamentalist (of whatever stripe) could be a Socratic dialogue partner to himself, he would no longer be a fundamentalist.

In the history of the DGLE, paradoxical intention has occasionally been discussed, especially the question of whether it is not a method that is in principle alien to logotherapy, which only coincidentally occupies a comparatively large place in the repertoire of logotherapists, or whether it belongs to the essence of logotherapy. And especially in the vicinity of the South German Institute, the latter has been emphatically emphasized. I would like to see such a discussion on the Socratic Dialogue. And I would like to argue that he should be seen as a model from which the understanding approach to various philosophical questions can be opened up to the logotherapist. In other words, Socratic dialogue as a hermeneutic key and at the same time as a touchstone to correct any unsocratic tendencies in ourselves or in others. I hope that postmodernism will succeed in challenging us to do so.

Thank you for your attention!

A Pastor, A Priest, A Rabbi, An Imam, A Shaman, And A Logotherapist Walk Into A Bar …

Rev. Tom Edmondson

Does one have to be a medical doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist to practice Logotherapy and Existential Analysis(LTEA)? No. During his lifetime Viktor E. Frankl welcomed the implementation of the principles of LTEA in an ever expanding range of disciplines. 

In my case, I am a protestant Christian minister in the United States. I serve an average-sized congregation (60-80 people). I preach weekly sermons, meet with members individually and in groups, perform weddings and funerals (with all the counseling that goes with those events), visit people in the hospital, etc. I have found the techniques of Logotherapy and Existential Analysis to not only be compatible with my theological view of humanity, but also exceedingly effective.  I want to learn more about how to integrate LTEA into pastoral care, and I want to share what I have found to be effective with others who, like me, need to “go back to the well of inspiration” from time to time. 

This site, then, is dedicated to the implementation of Dr. Frankl’s principles of LTEA in the field of pastoral care (Seelsorge) in any spiritual or religious tradition. Like me, clergy and spiritual leaders of all persuasions care for the spiritual needs of their people. Such work is demanding, time-consuming, and often leaves little time for personal enrichment. That’s where this site comes in. It is my hope that it will become a source of enrichment for everyone who visits. On it you will find blog postings, articles, interviews, book reviews, helpful links, etc. 

We start out with two great resources for your enrichment. First, an interview with Dr. Ann V. Graber, founder of the program in Pastoral Logotherapy at the Graduate Theological Foundation and author of two books. The other resource is an English translation of an article by Prof. Dr. Heye Heyen, titled, “Logotherapy in the Postmodern Age: What the Existential-Analytical and Postmodern Spirit can Challenge Each Other to Do.”  Dr. Heyen is a university professor in Brussels who teaches and researches primarily in the fields of pastoral care and counseling. The article was originally written in German. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Jesus and Logotherapy

The Ministry of Jesus as Interpreted Through the Psychotherapy of Viktor Frankl

by Robert C. Leslie

ISBN: 9781666783322
Pub Date: June 2023
Format: Paperback
Imprint: Wipf and Stock

Wipf and Stock are to be thanked for seeing to it that this long out of print book sees new life. Originally published in 1965, Jesus and Logotherapy: The Ministry of Jesus as Interpreted Through the Psychotherapy of Viktor Frankl is a thematic treatment of events in the ministry of Jesus interpreted through the lens of Viktor Frankl’s Logotherapy and Existential Analysis (LTEA, for short). Leslie was a Methodist minister, a military chaplain, and had the opportunity to study in Vienna with Viktor Frankl from 1960-1961. Published four years later, no doubt this book is the fruit of Leslie’s encounter with Frankl’s thought and its subsequent implementation in his work.

This book raises several questions, of course. First, is it a validation of the ministry of Jesus via Logotherapy, or is it a validation of Logotherapy via the ministry of Jesus? Second, do the New Testament accounts of Jesus’s ministry—including healings—count as empirical data or simply anecdotal illustrations? And third, does it count as biblical scholarship, psychological scholarship, or a type of Logotherapy as hermeneutic? Don’t get me wrong, it is inspirational reading; I think it’s great and should be read, but what is its value, especially if it is not likely to be read outside of a Christian audience?

In the preface, Leslie states that he employed the case study approach of the social sciences in his treatment of the ministry of Jesus. The goal was to apply the principles of Viktor Frankl’s Logotherapy to throw new light on the personal relationships that, as he writes, gets overlooked in biblical scholarship. He argued that the ministry of Jesus was more concerned with life transformation and helping people relate to God rather than therapy. On the other hand, he believed that the examples presented would demonstrate that modern psychology—especially Logotherapy—verifies Jesus’s methodology. 

Though these assertions make me uncomfortable, I still highly recommend this book, though we must keep a few things in mind when reading it. To begin, it was the first of its kind, and it is a good reading of the New Testament along with Logotherapy. Second, it was written in 1965, and not 2023 when its premises seem too simplistic in terms of social scientific and theological practice. Even so, the book is still meaningful and valuable for different reasons. 

First, most seminarians come to a class with one question for the professor, “will it preach?” This book preaches. Why? Because second, the worldview and anthropology of Logotherapy is compatible with a biblical worldview. The keyword is compatible, because one does not have to be a Jew, a Christian, or even a theist to practice Logotherapy. Frankl asserted, against Freud and others, that humans are made up of more than just drives and instincts, that humans are, in fact, beings with three dimensions: body (soma), mind (psyche), and spirit (nous). Though Jewish and religious, Frankl kept most of his writing at this human level. Thus, he used the Greek word nous to keep his spiritual therapy non-dogmatic, since in English, the word “spirit” tends to have religious connotations as opposed to Geist and Seele in German. On the other hand, Frankl welcomed the exploration of Logotherapy in a broad array of applications, including religious ones such as this book.

A third reason is many of Leslie’s readings ring true. I have to admit my skepticism about his premise gave way to wonder when I read chapter 5, “Resolving Value Conflicts,” which is about the paralyzed youth in Mark 2, to whom Jesus said, “Your sins are forgiven.” His assertion that the youth experienced physical paralysis due to extreme guilt seemed a bit far-fetched to me until I saw how he explained it. Leslie didn’t use the term conversion disorder, but that is what his premise entails. And since Logotherapy and Existential analysis is a first order therapy for noögenic (spiritual) neuroses, including physical symptoms that have a spiritual cause, I could see how Leslie’s reading of Jesus’s ministry with Logotherapy was both valid and exciting!

Here is a full listing of the readings in the book:

Exploring height psychology: the temptations of Jesus: Lk 4:1-13

Mobilizing the defiant power of the human spirit: Zacchaeus: Lk 19:1-10

Finding the personal life task: the rich young ruler: Mk 10:17-22

Filling the existential vacuum: the Samaritan woman: Jn 4:4-27

Resolving value conflicts: the paralyzed youth: Mk 2:2-12

Actualizing the self in responsible commitment: Simon the Pharisee: Lk 7:36-50

Realizing creative values: Peter: Mt 16:13-19; Lk 22:31-34, 54-62

Realizing experiential values: Mary & Martha: Lk 10:38-42

Realizing attitudinal values: the Bethesda invalid: Jn 5:2-15

Restoring man's dignity: the Gerasene demoniac: Mk 5:1-20

Exercising man's freedom: Jesus as servant: Jn 13:3-5, 12-16

My fourth reason: as I stated above, this book is actually—or simply—a Logotherapeutic reading of the ministry of Jesus. It is not an interpretation that employs a Logotherapeutic hermeneutic (as is Marshall H. Lewis’s Viktor Frankl and the Book of Job: A Search for Meaning); it is not a critique of Logotherapy for use in Christian counseling (as is Donald F. Tweedie’s Logotherapy and the Christian Faith: An Evaluation of Frankl's Existential Approach to Psychotherapy); and neither is it a Christian guide to Logotherapy (as I would describe Aaron J. Ungersma’s The Search for Meaning: A New Approach in Psychotherapy and Practical Psychology). No, it is a reading of events in the ministry of Jesus—mostly healings—along with Logotherapy, which is defined as “healing through meaning.” And can we overlook the simple fact that the root word for Logotherapy is the Greek word logos, which is also applied to Jesus in John’s Gospel?

Finally, I’m a preacher. I have drawn inspiration from this book for my own preaching and it has made a huge impact. Many people have loved and cherished this book for a long time. And as my beloved teacher, Dr. Ann V. Graber said when I told her about this book being reprinted, “Well, it’s about time!” Indeed, it is.

Tom Edmondson for meaninginministry.com 

Date Of Review: September 2023

LOGOTHERAPY, THEOLOGY, AND PASTORAL PSYCHOLOGY.

By Prof. Dr. Heye Heyen

Available in German here.

Translated by Tom Edmondson for Meaning in Ministry: Pastoral Care with Logotherapy (blogsite).

On the death of Viktor E. Frankl:

On September 2, 1997, the Viennese professor of neurology and psychiatry, Viktor E. Frankl, the founder of Logotherapy and Existential Analysis, died at the age of 92. Who was this man whose work received less attention in the German-speaking world than in America, and from whose books Protestant theologians quote less frequently than their Catholic colleagues?

1. The Life of Viktor Frankl

Born in 1905 to Jewish parents in Vienna, the stronghold of psychotherapy at that time, he already corresponded with S. Freud as a high school student, from whom he turned away during his medical studies in order to join A. Adler's individual psychology. After a few years, however, there was a break here too. In 1927, Frankl, whose understanding of neuroses increasingly differed from Adler's, was expelled from the Viennese Association for Individual Psychology. From 1930 Frankl worked as a doctor at the neuropsychiatric clinic of the University of Vienna. At the same time, he set up counseling centers for young people who were in emotional distress – in no small part due to the mass unemployment of those years. Against the background of this work, Frankl developed the basic ideas of his logotherapy during the 1930s. He often recognizes a deficit in the experience of meaning or what he calls an 'existential vacuum' as the reason or breeding ground for mental suffering. Accordingly, he sees the therapeutic task as helping to find a perspective of meaning.

Frankl spent the years 1942-45 as a prisoner in four concentration camps. He later described these years as the "crucible" of his logotherapy: "Indeed, the lesson of Auschwitz was that man is a meaning-oriented being. [...] The message of Auschwitz was: Man can only survive if he lives for

something. And it seems to me that this applies not only to the survival of the individual, but also to the survival of mankind.” After the liberation in 1945 - he had lost his entire family except for one sister - he returned to Vienna. He dictated the book that would become a bestseller: Saying Yes to Life Anyway. A Psychologist Experiences the Concentration Camp. The title of the English translation is: Yes to Life in Spite of Everything. A series of scientific books followed, including his habilitation. Apart from longer

stays in the USA, where he held several guest professorships, Frankl stayed in Vienna until the end of his life.

2. Basic Ideas of Logotherapy

Frankl differs from Freud and Adler above all in that he sees the basic 'Mover' of man not in the will to pleasure or in the will to power, but in the will to meaning. If this becomes frustrated, an 'existential vacuum' is created in which all sorts of mental disorders can then proliferate and the will to pleasure or power can become dominant.

If the frustration of the striving for meaning is the main cause of a disorder, Frankl speaks of 'noögenic neurosis' and understands logotherapy as a specific therapy. According to Frankl, logotherapy is non- specific therapy for psychogenic neuroses. The anthropological place of the striving for meaning is the spiritual dimension. With the 'spirit' man is given the ability for 'self-transcendence' and 'self-distancing'. Frankl illustrates what is meant by the term 'self-transcendence' using the paradox of the eye, which fulfills its meaning and realizes itself precisely by overlooking itself and instead perceiving the 'world'. Thus, according to Frankl, man finds himself precisely by directing his attention away from himself (even more so: from his symptom) to something that is not himself: to a beloved you, to a task, to something that is worth being perceived. The therapeutic method that aims at this is 'dereflection'. Man's possibility of 'self-distancing' is shown in an ability that no animal possesses: to laugh. Humor is used above all in the probably best-known method that Frankl developed: paradoxical intention. It comes into effect wherever anticipatory anxiety produces or at least intensifies a symptom. For example, someone who, in humorous exaggeration, almost wishes to 'sweat something out for the boss like he has never seen it before' will take the wind out of the sails of his fear of expectation and possibly experience for the first time with amazement that his hands are completely dry in the dreaded encounter.

For Frankl, the spiritual dimension—here the influence of his philosophical teacher M. Scheler becomes apparent - is the basis of man's freedom to rise above his psychophysical conditionality and to take a stand and behave in relation to it. As the opposite pole of freedom Frankl sees the responsibility of man, whereby he also clearly has in mind the aspect of being responsible before whom or what.’ Unconscious spirituality is the subject of dream analysis, which, however, has a much lower significance in Frankl's practice than Freud's. His work The Unconscious God4 deals with this topic above all. The title is misleading, however, insofar as the idea that God himself can be found in the unconscious, as it were, is far from Frankl. Rather, he is concerned with making people aware of a Translator’s note: The English version is Utled, Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning, and contains additonal material potentially repressed or undeveloped relationship with God. The spiritual dimension is also the basis of conscience, which is therefore 'ontically irreducible'. It is understood as a 'sense-probe' and is thus to be fundamentally distinguished from the Freudian superego, which Frankl does not question as such.

3. Logotherapy in German Speaking Areas

Although overshadowed by the major therapeutic schools, logotherapy has been growing in the German-speaking world since about 1980. Two 'pioneers' of logotherapy will be briefly introduced here, whose differences at the same time indicate the factual 'range' of possible logotherapeutic standpoints: the psychologist Elisabeth Lukas, director of the South German Institute for Logotherapy in Munich, and the Protestant theologian Uwe Böschemeyer, director of the Hamburg Institute for Existential Analysis and Logotherapy. E. Lukas is best known for her numerous (pocket) books in the Herder publishing house. In easy-to- understand and yet precise language, she presents the basic ideas of a (type of) logotherapy that could be described as 'orthodox'. In ever new variations, she presents Frankl's concepts, justifies them, and emphasizes their significance compared to all other currents of thought at the time (not only in psychology). In accordance with her strong emphasis on the spiritual dimension, she sees a great danger in overemphasizing the role of the psychic; according to her strong orientation to Frankl's parable of the paradox of the eye, she sees a great danger in any form of psychotherapeutic 'navel gazing'. Above all, she takes a decidedly critical stance towards depth psychology—sometimes not without polemics.

U. Böschemeyer, author of the dissertation "Die Sinnfrage in Psychotherapie und Theologie" (The Question of Meaning in Psychotherapy and Theology) published in 1976, already in the early days of his logotherapeutic activity advocated the concept of (what was then called) "integrative logotherapy". Its characteristic was a greater openness towards other schools and methods; this was especially true towards depth psychology. In the meantime, U. Böschemeyer has decisively developed logotherapy into a "value-oriented existential analysis" in his institute. The most important difference to classical logotherapy lies in the understanding and in the weighting of the unconscious, as the center of which the spirit and thus the orientation towards values is seen. Through the method of 'value-oriented imagination' developed by Böschemeyer, values such as 'self-acceptance' can be experienced via inner images and, if necessary, their obstacles can be recognized and worked on. In recent years U. Böschemeyer has become known to a wide audience through several books and numerous small publications (SKV Edition).

4. Logotherapy as an Object of Theological and Pastoral Psychological Interest The interest shown by theologians in logotherapy or in the work of V.E. Frankl is - especially on the Protestant side - on the whole rather low. For example, it must be noticed that H. Gollwitzer in his two monographs on the question of meaning does not explicitly refer to Frankl in a single place. Two theological dissertations take a look at Frankl's anthropology: the work of U. Böschemeyer (supervised by H. Thielicke) from a systematic-theological point of view, and the work of St. Peeck from a practical-theological point of view (significance for suicidal people). Wolfram Kurz, professor of religious education and at the same time director of an institute for logotherapy and existential analysis in Tübingen, makes logotherapy fruitful for religious education in several publications, including his dissertation and his habilitation thesis. Among the German-speaking authors, he is probably the one in whom logotherapeutic and theological or religious pedagogical elements interpenetrate most strongly and result in an overall conception.

In his (practical-theological) dissertation, Karl-Heinz Röhlin compares existential analysis and logotherapy with the more recent Protestant concepts of pastoral care. From logotherapy he gains impulses for a 'meaning-oriented pastoral care', which he understands - in modification of the well- known thesis of D. Stollberg - as "logotherapy in the church context."5 Nevertheless, the well-known representatives of Protestant poimenics as well as pastoral psychology on the whole only make very peripheral reference to Frankl and his school(s), if at all. Incidentally, the reverse is even more true: Frankl himself and authors who define themselves primarily as logotherapists hardly take any notice of pastoral psychology or clinical pastoral training.

5. Opportunities for Dialogue

Since I myself have completed both the Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) and various pastoral psychological training courses on the one hand, and an existential-analytical-logotherapeutic training (with U. Böschemeyer) on the other hand a good ten years ago, I have been interested in integrating some methods that I owe to pastoral psychology within the training of logotherapists and the CPE. Conversely, I would like to see logotherapeutic insights included in the training of pastoral workers and pastoral psychologists.
I can only indicate here in the form of theses what the main benefits for both sides could be.

a) The benefit for (prospective) logotherapists from contact with (representatives of) protestant poimenics and pastoral psychology could be the following:

- Sensitization to the fundamental desire to be accepted – for this, the central consideration of the 'will to meaning' must not obscure the view;

- Overcoming an anthropological reductionism that actually largely understands fear only in terms of the paradigm of 'anticipatory fear' and does not take it into account as existential;

- Striving for an attitude that tolerates open questions and is skeptical of hasty answers;

- Raising awareness of the danger of dealing with oneself and others in a moralizing manner;

- Discovering a human 'right to complain' (up to and including accusing God; see Psalms);

- Sensitization to the fact that faith is also only lived in this world and that therefore ecclesiogenic damage (and analogously: comparable dangers through neologistic counseling) must also be taken into account.

b) The benefit for (prospective) ministers and pastoral psychologists from contact with (representatives of) logotherapy and existential analysis could be the following:

- Sensitization for the perception of the pastor and client under the aspect: "What are his 'pillars of meaning'? (A parameter for assessing suicidality or resilience!);

- Self-awareness also under the aspect: 'Me and my values';

- Working with dreams and the imagination under the perceptual attitude: unconscious belief, unconscious hope, unconscious love;

- Sensitization to the mechanism of 'hyper-reflection' (Frankl) of one's own problems and their reinforcement that occurs as a result;

- Becoming familiar with the methodical handling of dereflection;

- Recognizing and avoiding any personal psychologistical tendencies; Frankl concludes:

“Sigmund Freud taught us the importance of debunking. But I think it has to stop somewhere, and that's where the 'exposing psychologist' is confronted with something that just can't be exposed anymore, for the simple reason that it's real. The psychologist, however, who cannot stop exposing there either, only exposes the unconscious tendency to devalue what is genuine in people, what is human in people.”

LITERATUR:

U. Böschemeyer, Die Sinnfrage in Psychotherapie und Theologie. Die Existenzanalyse und

Logotherapie Viktor E. Frankls aus theologischer Sicht, Berlin / New York 1976; ders., Logotherapie

und Religion, in: G. Condrau (Hg), Die Psychologie des 20. Jahrhunderts, Bd. 15, Zürich 1979, 296-302;

ders., Neu beginnen! – Konkrete Hilfen in Wende- und Krisenzeiten, Lahr 1966; J.B. Fabry, Das Ringen

um Sinn. Eine Einführung in die Logotherapie, Freiburg 1980 [2]; V.E. Frankl, Theorie und Therapie der

Neurosen, München / Basel 1975 [4]; ders., ... trotzdem Ja zum Leben sagen. Ein Psychologe erlebt

das Konzentrationslager, München 1978 [2]; ders., Ärztliche Seelsorge. Grundlagen der Logotherapie

und Existenzanalyse, Wien 1979 [9]; ders., Der unbewußte Gott. Psychotherapie und Religion,

München 1979 [6]; ders., Das Leiden am sinnlosen Leben. Psychotherapie für heute, Freiburg i.Br. /

Basel / Wien 1981 [6]; ders., Das Leiden am sinnlosen Leben. Psychotherapie für heute, Freiburg i.Br. /

Basel / Wien 1981 [6]; ders., Der Wille zum Sinn. Ausgewählte Vorträge über Logotherapie, Bern /

Stuttgart / Wien 1982 [3]; ders., Der Mensch vor der Frage nach dem Sinn, München 1985 [4]; ders.,

Was nicht in meinen Büchern steht: Lebenserinnerungen, München 1995; H. Gollwitzer, Krummes

Holz – aufrechter Gang. Zur Frage nach dem Sinn des Lebens, München 1970; ders., Ich frage nach

dem Sinn des Lebens, München 1974; W. Kurz, Ethische Erziehung als religionspädagogische Aufgabe.

Historische und systematische Zusammenhänge unter besonderer Berücksichtigung der Sinn-

Kategorie und der Logotherapie V.E. Frankls, Tübingen 1983; ders., Seel-Sorge als Sinn-Sorge: Zur

Analogie von kirchlicher Seelsorge und Logotherapie, in: WzM 37 (1985), 225-237; ders./ F. Sedlak

6 Frankl 1995, 104.

6

(Hg.), Kompendium der Logotherapie und Existenzanalyse. Bewährte Grundlagen, neue Perspektiven,

Tübingen 1995; E. Lukas, Von der Tiefen- zur Höhenpsychologie. Logotherapie in der Beratungspraxis,

Freiburg i.Br. 1983; dies., Auch dein Leben hat Sinn. Logotherapeutische Wege zur Gesundung,

Freiburg i.Br. 1984 [2]; dies., Von der Trotzmacht des Geistes. Menschenbild und Methoden der

Logotherapie, Freiburg i.Br. 1986; dies., Lebensbesinnung. Wie Logotherapie heilt. Die wesentlichen

Texte aus dem Gesamtwerk, Freiburg i.Br. 1995; M. Nicol, Die Religion in Existenzanalyse und

Logotherapie nach Viktor E. Frankl, in: WzM 38 (1986), 207-222; St. Peeck, Suizid und Seelsorge. Die

Bedeutung der anthropologischen Ansätze V.E. Frankls und P. Tillichs für Theorie und Praxis der

Seelsorge an suizidgefährdeten Menschen, Stuttgart 1991; K.-H. Röhlin, Sinnorientierte Seelsorge. Die

Existenzanalyse und Logotherapie V.E. Frankls im Vergleich mit den neueren evangelischen

Seelsorgekonzeptionen und als Impuls für die kirchliche Seelsorge, München 1988.

The Place of Acceptance

By Prof. Dr. Heye Heyen 

Available in German here.

Translated by Tom Edmondson for Meaning in Ministry: Pastoral Care with Logotherapy (blogsite).

The Place of Acceptance 

Starting Point

"What conditions and possibly practical elaborations serve the goal of people becoming familiar with experiences of transcendence and the depth of existence, of people being encouraged to believe in God's kingdom, of people feeling at home in rites, symbols, and what is peculiar to the language of faith...?"

These questions have been formulated by Evert Jonker (1996,6) with regard to catechetical accompaniment especially of groups. In this article I take these questions as a starting point for some theological reflections on pastoral accompaniment of (especially) individuals. In doing so, I limit myself, in terms of content, to a central theme of the language of faith, namely, the doctrine of justification by faith alone, without works of the law. I pose the question of what experiences people can have in which they can access what is meant by the word "justification." In particular, I will examine what the "value-oriented imagination" according to U. Böschemeyer can contribute to this. Of these, I will describe and briefly discuss three examples from my own psychotherapeutic practice. Then I will address the question of the "truth content" of the symbols from the imaginations. Further, I will address the question to what extent the search for an inner experience can do justice to the message of justification as a "verbum externum".

JUSTIFICATION AND ACCEPTANCE

In the language of faith, the doctrine of justification by faith alone, without works of the law, occupies a central place in the evangelical (particularly the Lutheran) tradition. This doctrine is seen as the "articulus stantis et cadentis ecclesiae": where this article is taught (and learned), there is church. According to Lutheran orthodoxy, there can be no question of church where this does not happen (Köhler, 329). Of course, from an empirical point of view, it cannot be denied that the term “justification” with its theological charge is no longer understood even by many regular churchgoers. At this point, even for them, the traditional language of faith has become a foreign language. That is the reason why Paul Tillich in particular, as a systematic theologian, felt called upon to plead for a translation. He suggested replacing the term "justification" with the term "acceptance":

Since "justification" is a biblical expression, it cannot be avoided in the Christian churches today either. But in the practice of teaching and preaching, it should be replaced by the word "acceptance." Acceptance means we are accepted by God even though we are unacceptable according to the criteria of the law (the law contrasts our essential being against our existential alienation). We are asked to accept that we are accepted. (1966, 258)

A practical-theological translation relates less to thinking and to the problems that thinking may have with the doctrine of justification than a systematic-theological one. The practical theologian is more interested in the experiences people have with 'acceptance' these days: where, when and by whom do they feel comfortable or not accepted? What are the conditions under which they may or may not accept being accepted? This is the empirical "pole" of (bipolar) practical theology. In this case, the other "pole" asks about the purpose of biblical and dogmatic statements about "justification" and about a theologically responsible translation. The practical theologian brings these two "poles" together in a (mutually constructive-critical) conversation.

The pastoral care movement has adopted Tillich's proposal. It is no coincidence that in the German-speaking area the usual term for what is mostly called "therapeutic pastoral care" in the Netherlands is referred to as "Acceptance-Giving Pastoral Care" (Annehmende Seelsorge). Everything revolves around "acceptance." "Perceiving and Accepting" is the programmatic title of a well-known book by Dietrich Stollberg (1978). "Acceptance-Giving Pastoral Care" (Annehmende Seelsorge) is designed so that in contact with the pastor, the interlocutor can have the experience: I am accepted—by the pastor and (even if this is perhaps not explicitly stated), by him in whose name the pastor listens to me and speaks to me.

Theological criticism of the use of the term "acceptance" as a synonym for "justification" in accepting pastoral care was brought forward above all by Helmut Tacke (1979, 127-146). He sees this as a misuse of the "pro me” since the explicit Christological underpinning and thus the anchoring in the "extra nos" is missing. However, the question is whether it is theologically legitimate to see Christ's presence so dependent on the question of whether he is explicitly mentioned by name. Can't the justifying Christ come in the form of the accepting neighbor (here: the pastor) just as well as in the “least brother” of Matthew 25? And as for the distinction between the "extra nos" and the "in nobis": secundum rationem essendi it is undoubtedly necessary to posit this difference. But secundum rationem cognoscendi (or experiendi) what is primary is the experience: “I am accepted”. In contrast, identifying the subject (“who is the one who accepts me?”) is secondary. If you only look at the feelings triggered, the difference between an acceptance by myself or by another person or by God is not a principle one.

EXPERIENCING ACCEPTANCE

Where and how can acceptance become tangible? In accepting pastoral care, this is answered: by way of contact with the accepting pastor.

As a complement, in this article I will present an approach to the experience of acceptance that has been developed over the last 15 years, albeit outside the discourse of pastoral practitioners. These are the “value-oriented imaginations” developed by the theologian, psychotherapist and logotherapist Uwe Böschemeyer (1996, 2005, 2007). By this he understands a kind of active dream travel, preferably to certain "places" in the unconscious "world" that symbolize certain values such as "the place of love" or "the place of healing".

When I was working as a therapist myself, I worked with this method several times. With some clients who had a hard time accepting themselves or believing that someone else could accept them, I have taken the "Journey" to the "Place of Acceptance". In the following, I will describe three examples of these “journeys” and briefly discuss each one.

Ms. D

Ms. D. was a 27-year-old law student. She felt insecure in many ways, found it difficult to say “no,” and sometimes hurt herself. On the occasion of a dream, she said she still blamed herself for a number of small things. For example, as a child she had once locked up the neighbor's girl for a few minutes and once ate another child's ice cream.

Because I had the impression that there was a clear lack of (self-) acceptance in her life, I suggested to her in the 5th session an imaginary journey to the "place of being accepted". I had deliberately chosen this abstract formulation because it leaves open (leaves it to her unconscious, as it were) who or what the accepting subject is. This could be other people (or also an animal), this could be herself, this could also be "life" or God.

She leans back relaxed, closes her eyes and waits a moment for possible images.

Her journey begins in a small grotto, from where a kind of serpentine path leads down. It feels good to go down here on the dry clay ground. After opening a heavy wooden door, she enters a beautiful mountain landscape, walks past grazing cows, with whom she carefully makes contact, until she comes to some houses. She would like to knock there, but she doesn't want to be intrusive and moves on. Finally she comes to a (Mediterranean) marketplace with a large fountain. People sit there, eat and drink. There is a happy atmosphere, someone is playing the guitar. A woman comes up to them and invites them in, people move up and there is room for them. There is also a very old woman with wrinkles who radiates a lot of warmth. There is also a little (sympathetic) boy there, he is a bit dirty and has a snotty nose. She cannot understand the words of the language spoken there, but she can understand the meaning.

After a while I propose to say goodbye (she would have preferred to stay there for a long, long time...) She hugs both women warmly.

A climax can be observed in these images that I have often encountered in such imaginations: a) the person is alone in a beautiful natural landscape, there is a lot of space, there is nothing that would be threatening; b) She encounters (friendly) animals with whom she makes contact; c) There is contact with people.

Ms. D. would have preferred to sit with the people on the market square for hours – here she obviously sensed an atmosphere of acceptance that she missed in her conscious life. A good example of this is the little boy who – albeit dirty and with a snotty nose – is allowed to be there and who also has her sympathy. Even as a child, she was probably admonished or rejected if she looked like that. And surely, even in her conscious life, she could hardly ever allow herself to resemble this boy.

I said to her: You can always come back to this marketplace. She did this several more times in the weeks that followed, each time having a beneficial experience of (self) acceptance.

Ms. U

Ms. U. was a 45-year-old biologist and came to therapy because she felt empty and thought she had too little "basic trust". She had various psychosomatic symptoms. Her father died suddenly when she was eleven. After that, her mother started drinking. Religion had never played a special role in her life. After a while, I also go on a “journey” with her to the “place of acceptance”.

Her journey begins (ground floor) at a wooden door that she cannot open. She walks a long way along a wall until she discovers a shaft with a staircase. She descends and enters a domed hall. The room is open at the top, there are high walls on the sides, the ground is dry; except for a blade of grass, there is nothing living there. She goes back upstairs and continues walking along the wall. Suddenly the path becomes a tunnel leading to a (Catholic) church. There are stained windows and lots of gold. She walks around. Suddenly, she meets a monk in a black robe and with a long white beard. He is very friendly and says he was expecting her. He invites her to come with him to the sacristy (crypt). There are two chairs and a table. He pours tea and listens to her. She can tell whatever is on her mind and can come back at any time. When he says goodbye, he hugs her.

When Ms. U. opened her eyes again, she was very touched by what she had just experienced. It felt like she had finally found what she had been looking for. Especially meeting the old monk had done her a lot of good and fulfilled a deep longing. It was an experience of acceptance, in her case acceptance in the name of (or even by) the god who had never played a special role in her conscious life.

It was certainly no coincidence that her “journey” first took her to two “places” where this experience of acceptance was not possible. The first place is not in the depths, but "par terre" (on the ground), in their conscious world. It could be that in principle the experience would be possible there, but it fails to open the "door" (access to it). The second place is probably "lower down", maybe the dome even makes you think of a former church building, but it is empty, there is (almost) no life there. And she knows intuitively: I have to keep looking - until she finds what she is looking for in that Catholic church.

Ms. M

Ms. M. was a single 35-year-old nurse. She was lonely, never had a boyfriend. She was, in her own words, depressed and often felt guilty. For reasons that could no longer be clarified, her mother had rejected her as a child and humiliated her in an inhuman way. From the fourth session on I went on some imaginary journeys with her. My goal was "the place where I can be myself". She sat back, closed her eyes, and opened for pictures from within.

In the beginning she is at her parents' house, but there she can't find anywhere to descend. Then she goes into a forest. There she finds a hollow about two meters deep. She climbs in and gets into a very long horizontal corridor. After a while she sees a door. She knocks, but no one calls her in. Finally she opens the door herself and sees that there is a grotto behind it. She goes in without being asked. There she sees a woman of about 30 who looks like the Madonna. She stands there very unperturbed and (almost) doesn't react to her. Maybe the Madonna is a bit awkward.

She goes on. She crawls through a long underground passage until it suddenly becomes very bright (almost blinding). She is in a forest; she walks a little there and comes to a clearing. After lying there in the grass for a while, she moves on. A roe deer comes to her, she strokes it. Hares and stags also come, they are all very tame and know her. She strokes them and moves on. To the left of the path the forest is (scary) dark, to the right the flowers and shrubs are in full bloom. She takes a red flower with her. But she knows: "If I want to reach my goal, I have to go into the dark forest."

I suggest you do that next time. She says goodbye and returns. She opened her eyes and said, visibly touched: That was beautiful! She had had experiences (feelings, desires, dreams) for which there was little room in her conscious life. It was crucial for the therapy that she could experience and feel this unconscious world, not that it was analyzed cognitively.

For the sake of the reader, I give a short analytical comment below.

Ms. M.'s search for the “place where I can be myself” begins – certainly not by chance – at her parents' house. This is the place where, if all is well, the child has the first fundamental experience: "I am allowed to be, I am welcome, I am accepted." But in her case, "all was not well,” especially as her mother had repeatedly shown her rejection in a very hurtful way. She will not be able to find access to the experience of being accepted by her parents, which means looking in the wrong place.

Just as Hansel and Gretel's path in the fairy tale leads out of their parents' house (with their mother who rejects them) and into the forest (often a symbol of the unconscious), Ms. M. also continues her search in the forest. There she will probably find a descent, although it doesn't really lead into the depths. A long horizontal corridor leads you to the Grotto of the Madonna. (Ms. M. was brought up a Catholic.) What could be more obvious for a child who has been rejected by its own mother than to seek consolation and protection from the “Mother of God”, from “Mother Church” or even from a “maternal” side of God. But no one calls her in there, no one welcomes her there. The Mother of God is just as unmoved as her own mother once was. Even if Ms. M. tries to excuse that a little (probably in the same way as her own mother: "Perhaps she is a bit clumsy"), she nevertheless recognizes, “I'm looking in the wrong place here too.”

If the place of acceptance cannot be found either with her parents or in the faith she learned there, she will have to look for it in an as yet unknown, “completely different” “world”. There is a long dark underground passage that leads there, reminiscent of the tunnel that people describe after a near-death experience. It gets very light at the end of this corridor. It seems to be a place where she feels safe and glad to be there. She lies down on the grass and her whole body is in contact with the ground (that carries her). The animals are tame, they know her and let her pet them. Ms. M., who – based on her experience, very understandably – has always been afraid of contact with people and who has therefore become very shy herself, now experiences very pleasant contact with animals that are normally known to be shy. The shy animals make the shy Ms. M. feel understood and accepted - and she herself shows affectionate feelings towards the shy animals by petting them. (Interpreted at the “subject level,” this could mean that she is no longer fighting off her own shy parts but is lovingly in touch with them and is “at peace” with them.)

I want to tell you that in later imaginative session these animals were there every time and accompanied her (so she dares to go into the dark forest) and that the loving contact between her and the stag continues to develop: the stag lays his head on her shoulder, and she does the same to him. She emphasizes that this is "not really erotic". (But it is certainly a fearless and therefore very important preliminary stage.) The blooming bushes and especially the “red flower” (rose?) that she takes with her may well be understood as an indication that in this “world” there is also room for her longing for love. But before that longing can be fulfilled, she will have to face the frightening things that still lie hidden in the dark forest.

After that happened (especially the encounter with her dead but not yet really buried mother), we went on the last journey of imagination about eight weeks later:

The stag and the rabbit are already waiting for her. The stag wants to walk along the forest with her, but he doesn't want to go into the forest. She takes the hare on her shoulder and walks alone (with him, without the stag) into the dark forest. After walking for a while and taking a rest, she sees a bright glow in the distance. As she gets closer, she sees an angel standing there. At first she doesn't want to go there. He has spread his arms. So much kindness feels suspicious to her. But eventually she goes to him. He keeps getting bigger and she keeps getting smaller. He takes her in his arms and rocks her back and forth like a small child, after which she is allowed to sit on his knee. Finally he takes her by the hand and walks with her to the place where she says goodbye to him and to the hare and the stag.

Of course, after this final imagination, Ms. M. herself was most impressed by her experience on the angel's arm and lap. What she had painfully had to do without as a child from her mother, she had now received from the angel.

EXPERIENCING TRANSCENDENCE?

I have recounted three experiences of (dream-like images of) the place of acceptance, two of which contain overtly religious symbolism. For these three women, the subject of the acceptance they long for and feel during imagery is not themselves. What they experience during imagery is, to them, not an experience of self-acceptance but of being accepted through other people (Ms. D.), be it through animals (Ms. M.), be it through God or in his name (Ms. U, Ms. M.).

The latter in particular will trigger the following two questions, among others, in a theological discourse. The first question is: Is this about fiction or about reality? Is not the acceptance by God or in his name, which is experienced during an imagination, exclusively the projection of a self-acceptance? That would mean somebody accepts himself and projects the subject of this acceptance on an old Italian woman, on a hare or a stag, on a monk or an angel. Is there then a difference in principle between the angel and the stag? Is the angel (or his attention) an external reality in a different way than the stag (or his attention)? And if this is not the case, then what is the use of such an imaginative experience?

When Frankl (1979) speaks of the “unconscious God”, he does not mean that God himself can be found in the depths of the human soul, so to speak. What can be found within the human soul is at most an (unconscious) longing for God or an (unconscious) trust in God. To use the words of Acts 17, perhaps deep within man has an altar to the unknown God, but of course not (an "empirical" approach to) God Himself.

Anyone who calls Ms. M.'s experience of the angel's arm "fiction and not reality" does justice to the fact that the thesis that she was "really" in contact with the angel and with the stag only "in her imagination," is absolutely untenable. In this respect there is no fundamental difference between the stag and the angel. Anyone who speaks here of "fiction as opposed to reality" also does justice to the theological rejection of a supernaturalism that ultimately does not see God “vis-à-vis” the world, but as a factor among other factors in the world (Tillich 1973, 11-16). But it does not do justice to the fact that in the subjective perspective there is not only the alternative "fiction or reality" but also an intermediate space, which Winnicott (1971) has described as a "transitional space". Or in the terms of A. Lorenzer (1970): Anyone who considers Ms. M.'s imagination of the angel to be legitimate only when it is a matter of contact with an external reality does not understand the angel (or the stag) as a symbol, but as a cliché. In the words of Tillich (1961, 53-57), then, we are talking about a “literalistic misunderstanding” of the symbol. It may very well make sense to relate to a symbol, knowing that it is a symbol. Tillich (ibid.) then speaks of a "broken" symbol. But to what extent can one then speak of “truth”?     

In the imagination, Ms. M. sees and experiences herself as someone who "may be" and who is worth being accepted: not only by individuals who may like her, but in a deeper, "ultimate" and "unconditional" sense. She imagines and feels an acceptance that transcends her actual biographical experiences. The angel is thus a symbol for a transcendent reason for acceptance. She assumes so. This is - epistemologically seen—a postulate (of practical reason, to speak with Kant), even if the postulating instance here cannot be "filled" by pure ratio, but rather by the "heart," according to the dictum of Pascal: "Le cœur a ses raisons, que la raison ne connaît point."

This makes the second question all the more urgent: How does such a "postulate of the heart" (and its tangibility) relate to the verbum externum?

Seen theologically, isn't justification something that is proclaimed to man from outside and that he then accepts (and only then perhaps also feels and translates into images)? And does not justification mean that the proclaimed Word adds something to the being of man by making him righteous before God? What else does the proclamation add besides a new label, if acceptance by God can also be experienced independently of the proclamation by means of an imagination?

Here we are dealing with a tension between a piece of traditional religious truth and a piece of empirical reality. It cannot be the task of the practical theologian to resolve this tension by means of a systematic theological answer (following K. Rahner, for example). Rather, it is the task of the (bipolar) practical theologian to endure the tension and bring both sides into a (mutually constructive-critical) dialogue. In this case, this can mean: Based on the piece of empirical reality, the representative of the truth of faith is asked the critical question of whether he sufficiently considers the following two points:

• It can only be said that a person is struck by the message of justification when he feels accepted.

• A message that also wants to touch a person's feelings does not come into a vacuum. In fact, the message of acceptance by God ties in one way or another with the hearer's previous experience (positive or negative) of acceptance.

Based on the traditional truth of faith, the practitioner is asked the following questions:

• Have people like Ms. M. and Ms. U. ever heard the message of justification in class or at church in a way that struck and touched them?

• What will that look like in the future? How can the message of justification be explained and proclaimed to people like Ms. M. and Ms. U. in a way that connects to their experiences in the imaginations?

It is the task of the practical theologian not to end the dialogue between the representative of the truth of faith and the representative of empiricism/practice, but to keep it going. Of course, this is not a game to pass the time, but the specific contribution towards the goal that Evert Jonker (1996, 6) put into words as follows: “that people become familiar with experiences of transcendence and the depth of existence, that people are encouraged to believe in God's kingdom, to feel at home in rites, symbols, and that which is peculiar to the language of faith."

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Böschemeyer, U., Dein Unbewußtes weiß mehr, als du denkst. Imagination als Weg zum Sinn, Freiburg  1996.

Böschemeyer, U., Unsere Tiefe ist hell. Wertimagination – ein Schlüssel zur inneren Welt, München 2005.

Böschemeyer, U., Gottesleuchten. Begegnungen mit dem unbewussten Gott in unserer Seele, München  2007.

Frankl, V.E., Der unbewußte Gott, München 1979.

Heitink, G., “De theologie van de Klinische Pastorale Vorming of: Wybe Zijlstra als pastoraal-theoloog”, in:  G. Heitink and others, Ontginningswerk. Bijdragen voor dr. Wybe Zijlstra, Kampen 1985, 112-118.

Jonker, E.R., “Thuis raken in geloof. Ten geleide”, in: Praktische theologie 23/4, 1996, 1-8.

Köhler, W., Dogmengeschichte II, Zürich 1951.

Lorenzer, A., “Symbol, Sprachverwirrung und Verstehen”, in: Psyche 12, 1970, 895 ff.

Stollberg, D., Wahrnehmen und Annehmen. Seelsorge in Theorie und Praxis, Gütersloh 1978.

Tacke, H., Glaubenshilfe als Lebenshilfe. Probleme und Chancen heutigen Seelsorge, Neukirchen 1979.

Tillich, P., Wesen und Wandel des Glaubens, Berlin 1961.

Tillich,P., Systematische Theologie Bd. III, Stuttgart 1966.

Tillich, P., Systematische Theologie Bd. II, Stuttgart 1973.

Winnicott, D.W., Playing and Reality, London 1971.

Meditation for a Balloon Release

Rev. Tom Edmondson

Meaninginministry.com

Subject area: Funerals, child’s funeral

I conducted a memorial service for a 12-year-old who died unexpectedly. The family wanted to do a balloon release at the conclusion of the service. They distributed helium balloons to the friends and family of the deceased, asked them to write a message on it, then release it. As I thought about what to say for this portion of the service, I was reminded of Elisabeth Lukas’s well-known “Candle Meditation.” Drawing inspiration from that, I composed the following “Balloon Meditation.” 

I love the idea of a balloon release. Balloons are loved by children and adults alike. Think about how a balloon is like life.

A balloon has no life until it is filled with air. These balloons are filled with helium, but we also fill balloons with our breath. In the Bible, the Hebrew word for “breath” is also the word for “spirit.” As Genesis 2:7 says, “the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” 

For a while, that breath—or helium—animates the balloon, but over time, the balloon loses its elasticity and the breath escapes. Some balloons stay inflated for a long time, but others only stay inflated for a short time. So it is with our earthly bodies. We are animated for a time, and then the breath—or spirit—returns to God. 

Our children are like balloons. We bring them into the world, but God gives them life. And like a balloon, we cannot hold on to them, but must release them. Just as the balloons float upward towards heaven, we commend our sons and daughters to the Lord. 

[Child’s name] time was too short. You will all miss him/her dearly. I hope you will find comfort in seeing the balloons rise into the sky. Remember that you have given [Child’s name] up to Heaven, and there is no better place for him/her to be. 

Take a minute to remember what you love the most about [Child’s name]. On a balloon write a prayer, a favorite memory, a story, or anything else you like. When you are ready, release the balloon into the air. Every balloon represents a prayer, a beautiful message, or memory of wonderful human loved by all.

Copyright 2023 Rev. Tom Edmondson, meaninginministry.com. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to use or share this meditation with proper citation of its author and source.